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Thread: Lets write the next Tomb Raider!!!!

  1. #26
    Kurtis catches up with her. "It' not the way it seems."
    "What,you did it on your own?" Lara yells angrily.
    "No, she's my half-sister actually. a spawn of my late father's paramours."
    Lara's eyes lit up with fury. "How dare you talk about your dead father like that? Hane you no honor?" She took a deep breath and took out the Chirugai;she shoved it againt Kurtis' chest. "I came to give this to you." She paused, turned around to leave. "Don't try to find me ;if you do, I'll kill you." She said as she left Kurtis' house.
    Kurtis called out. "Lara, I swear you got it wrong!" He slapped his forehead. éstupid, stupid!" He muttered angrily.

  2. #27
    wow thats long


    then maury comes up to Kurtis with a paper and says that this girl is not your daughter

    Kurtis is shocked and runs to find lara

    then he spots her and tells her the news but lara slaps him and says i cant believe you didint remember u had a one night stand with janice

  3. #28

    Big Grin

    then to prove it to lara he dosent love janice

    they go to jerry springer lara,janice, and kurtis

    " jerry jerry jerry jerry!!!"the crowd yells.lara and janice look each other in the eyes......

  4. #29
    Then, Lara realised a smile on Janice's face, a smile she remembered her of someone...
    "Where have I seen that smile? I am sure I've seen it before." she thought...
    Of course... it was Karel. She transformed his self into Janice to fool people to do something evil of course. But Lara had to play his game so innocent people won't get hurt... she couldn't tell everybody that Janice was really Karel. She had to get him out. But how???
    VCI#14 - Lara Croft is THE BEST !!!

  5. #30
    She transformed his self into Janice
    OOps... sorry I wanted to say "He transformed his self into Janice".
    VCI#14 - Lara Croft is THE BEST !!!

  6. #31
    She stops briefly to visit the ladies room, and behind the commode in the last stall she finds two medi-packs and the Explosive Midget Launcher. From there she proceeds to the convention center, where the Little Miss Universe contest is in full swing...........
    ALL COMMENTS BASED ON PC VERSIONS ONLY.

  7. #32
    then one of the girls there tells lara guys did u wrong y dont u join the other side


    lara says hell no im not trying to be on another tv talk show like opra, jerry, ricky or any other wako talk show

    the girl proceded to cop a feel off of lara and lara then snaps the girls neck and hides her in a closet and takes some of the items in the room

  8. #33
    She opens the door, gets out and much to her astonishment finds herself in the Nevada desert near Area 5115. A giant mutant vulture approaches quickly from the blue skies and she blows it to little pieces with her hyper-laser grenade gun...
    Anger is an energy!!!!

  9. #34
    Join Date
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    Kurtis knocks her out

    kidnappes lara and told her she is not his daughter with proof

    Lara beleives

  10. #35
    Lara turns to Kurtis and shouts: "What the hell are you talking about? I'm your wife, not your daughter, and it's been months since you left home without a word ever since. And, by the way, what did you do to Area 5115, you freak?"
    Anger is an energy!!!!

  11. #36
    wow this is the most wierd and bizare lara story ever it will be a huge smash hit lol

  12. #37

    Exclamation

    LMAO!!!!!!!!

  13. #38
    Lara Kurtis and I are talking all of a sudden a noise like a grenada launcher omitts I look at Croft and Kurtis says you farted Croft that's digusting as he's holding his throat, me I'm also choking say you could kill people with that Lara starts laughing madly must of been the beans I had........ then

  14. #39
    and they say guys r the ones with the sick and weird minds

  15. #40
    Actuall, it's bean-gas that supplies the propellant and explosive for the Midget Launcher. You will have to collect the cans of beans that are scattered around the levels and combine them with the midgets in your inventory in order to be able to arm and fire the Midget Launcher. When the gas-filled midget strikes a target , the target is incinerated in a methane explosion. And I'll leave the propulsion system to your imagination.
    ALL COMMENTS BASED ON PC VERSIONS ONLY.

  16. #41
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    Mar 2004
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    Big Grin

    *This guy must've had a midget.....never got over it *

  17. #42
    Join Date
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    1,079
    Kurtis says he was joking and apologises

    lara says its ok

    and they continue their fight
    "Kurtis u forgot when we married!u still had had your shoulder holster on and the preist was so frightened he ran away and another came and took place."Kurtis then remembers and replies"Lara i donno what happened 2 my memory. all the events are erasing and im thinking of mad stuff like i married janice and please take me away from France 2 anywhere without french stuff." Lara asks y and.........

  18. #43
    Kurtis says: "I'm tired of eating frog's legs and snails! Won't someone get me a burger and fries and good ol' ma's apple pie with ice cream?"

    Lara says: "Hey, but I always thought you were German! What about the leather hat and the whip you love so much? And being covered with sauer kraut... Are you sure you don't want some sauer kraut instead?"

    Kurtis replies: "Well, dearest, never mind. Since we're in Paris - *sigh* - we might as well take advantage. Do you remember that fabulous disco? Why don't we go there and spend the night making all those baddies dance to the sound of our guns?"
    Anger is an energy!!!!

  19. #44
    Join Date
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    1,079
    Lara says"ok! but tomorrow v pack our bags and leave France and go to surrey to my mansion where we'll stay forever.ill teach u some of my abilities and we'll have some fun!!!!!!

  20. #45
    "What kind of abilities are you referring to?", asks Kurtis with a kinky grin upon his face. Then, he takes one step back and adds: "And what do you mean "forever"? You know, I'm not a young man anymore..."

    "Oh, don't worry, you know, the usual sauer kraut and stuff tricks...", says Lara, looking up and blushing.

    Kurtis takes her hand and murmurs in her ear: "Dearest, if we're going to Surrey, I'd rather try some of your kidney pie..."

    "Kidney pie? Yuk? Now I understand why our cuisine isn't that famous internationally. Oh and, by the way, wouldn't you agree this thread is becoming just a tiny bit too weird?", Lara asks.
    Anger is an energy!!!!

  21. #46
    Lara and Kurtis start groping each other. You guys want to do that later I'm eating (where all eating a big mac and good old fries) Lara's stuffing her face like she hasn't eaten for days well once she stops snogging Kurtis that is. All of a sudden some aliens come that looked like they come from the x files and start trying to make it with...... KURTIS ......... he starts shooting and are good meals start going everywhere bloody hell Lara yells that cost me $20 bucks, I say larlar remember how rich you are I'm sure $20 bucks is nothing. Lar looks at me and says it's the principal I was just starting on my fries you know how I love fries larlar's eyes roll. I go up to the counter and get her some more say here some more fries my friend lar smiles and she is happily eating her fries when........

  22. #47
    kurtis is pondering to himself the special times when lara, janice and him had fun in the sewers, on the church gym floor, in the backalley, in a graveyard, in an abandon building

    then lara yells at kurtis do u want your fries and what the hell r u pondering about?


    then kurtis says remember the times when we had those kinky, romantic, exiotic, naughty, dirty, filthy adventures? then lara......

  23. #48

    Exclamation

    Then Lara says to everyone present: "In your dreams, boy. Go have a cold shower ...and don't forget to take your medication."

    [Moderator mode on]
    Sexual situations stop NOW! You kids want to have more of that? Go someplace else!
    [Moderator mode off]

  24. #49
    u might as well close the thread since its all over the place u should have said this days sooner

  25. #50

    Lightbulb

    Why? You people handled that post well then and it was obvious that there is no room for that here (including what the TOU say). But now you start it again, so I have to step in.

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