Page 1 of 7 12345 ... Last

Thread: Things you learn at the movies.

Things you learn at the movies.

  1. #1

    Big Grin Things you learn at the movies.

    During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

    All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

    Most dogs are immortal.

    If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

    All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

    All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

    It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

    Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

    The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

    If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition -even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

    You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

    Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. Even a bad German accent will do.

    If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

    The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

    A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

    If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

    When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

  2. #2
    I think someone has way too much time on their hands.

  3. #3

    Red Face (Embarrassed)

    Who me!!!???

    Nah, just a few observations, I thought you all should be aware of.

  4. #4
    I just want to know where I can get one of those special L-shaped cover sheet..thats all.

  5. #5
    Maggie!!! Did you write that? It is so funny and well observed!! All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread. That applies to me in real life too... yummy stick... I use it to beat people with it... heh heh. It is so cool that we get our own Community Chat forum. Now we can talk about off topic stuff like this to people we LIKE!
    /hands Runtime a doughnut...

  6. #6

    Big Grin

    Glad you enjoyed it Ice, You like stick bread?..so do I, but only as long as it stays really fresh.


    Yes, it is nice having this place to talk about things other than PE......

    //*HIts Runtime over the head with my stick bread...and takes his doughnut..*

  7. #7
    Ha ha ha, poor Runtime.

    Yeah I do eat baguette. The problem as you have noted is that not long after I get it home, it hardens and isn't as nice as it should be. I always eat baguette with a glass of Perrier water and a lovely lemon.

  8. #8
    Originally posted by Maggie
    Yes, it is nice having this place to talk about things other than PE......
    And much quieter then that mash pit (Community Chat). I can actually hear my self think

    +- Smushes the doughnut in Maggie’s face as she tries to eat it. -+

  9. #9
    Ha ha ha... oh poor Maggie!!!

    * takes photo of this exceedingly comical situation *

  10. #10

    Big Grin

    Originally posted by Runtime

    And much quieter then that mash pit (Community Chat). I can actually hear my self think

    +- Smushes the doughnut in Maggie’s face as she tries to eat it. -+
    I quite agree with your comment Runtime. The words cattle and market springs to mind



    * Takes my stick bread and crumbles it into Runtimes hair along with all the goo from the doughnut on my face.*

  11. #11

    Re: Things you learn at the movies.

    LOL!




    Originally posted by Maggie

    You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
    Providing you are American of course.
    If you are unlucky enough to be German or Japanese then you have very little hope.
    You will find that your bullets are ineffective and no matter how well you aim you can never hit your enemy, that while the Americans can run through hails of fire without being touched you and all your comrades will be slaughtered wholesale because your enemy never misses, even when they aren't looking.

  12. #12

    Big Grin

    Ha Ha Henry, Of course that would depend on which country the film was actually made in, each favors thier own I presume.
    Growing old is compulsory, Acting old is optional!

  13. #13
    If you ever find yourself in a life threatening situation along with a child, never ever say anything or do anything that could possibly be taken as being "mean" to the child - doing otherwise means instant death.
    "Whatever your feeling is towards the lovable decomposing monkey or whether or not you like your coffee served black by the large, triple breasted women from Eroticon 7, one thing is for sure: He’s here to stay."

  14. #14

    Big Grin

    I watched a German movie recently about a U-Boat.
    Just about all of them got killed and their ship destroyed.
    So no, they can't even win in their movies

  15. #15

    Do weapons run out in fils

    "If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition -even if you haven't been carrying any before now. "


    You will only need to reload your weapon if it looks good to see you pop the clip out and slide a fresh one in. otherwise you will never run out.

    i have seen movies where hte hero had over a hundred rounds without changing magazines (yes you Mel Gibson)

  16. #16

    Big Grin

    LOL Henry, I thought the goodies were the ones from whichever Country the film was actually made, guess I am wrong...again!.

    Yes Plasmaball, I have noticed that also, especially like you say in Mel Gibson movies!

    I have to agree with you there BRM.

  17. #17

    Big Grin Part 2

    Part 2

    Interbreeding is genetically possible with any creature from elsewhere in the universe.

    Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

    If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

    Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.

    Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

    Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

    The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective - or give him 48 hours to finish the job.

    A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of RFK Stadium.

    Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

    Although in the 20th century it is possible to fire weapons at an object out of our visual range, people of the 23rd century will have lost this technology.

    Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

    It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.


  18. #18
    LOL!!!


    Part 2 is even better than the first

  19. #19
    Best to bring an extra pair of shoes.. (for all the bubble gum..)

    The good guys should bother fighting, in the end they'll win..



    Has anyone ever seen a movie when "evil" actually wins? (and doesnt loose in a sequel or such).

  20. #20
    Many. Arlington Road, The Usual Suspects... etc. Granted they have no sequels...

  21. #21
    never heard of em.

    when were they made/shown?

  22. #22
    They are very old in the 90s, in the era when films were more interesting then the current "feel good" ones. I generally enjoy 80s and 90s films. Films change every 5 years or so. There are also good films now, but the genre is a little bit less interesting for me. The military ones are terrible now.

  23. #23
    hmm. was 7 at the time.. u'd think u'd here about it at any age..

    I still have no clue what they are. oh well. ill take ur word for it.

  24. #24
    How about these?

    Money is best spent bribe-ing (??) someone to keep quiet than to purchase a 10$ small pop-corn and drop of coke..

    Never get a refil while watching your most anticipated movie.

    You'll always be seating behind someone taller than yourself..

    radiation is a good thing. (spider-man, hulk, etc..)

    Chickens will always remain on the ground while cows will not be able to avoid a tornado... (thats an odd one..)

    Falling off a cliff doesnt necessarily mean he's dead. (or she)

    Yoda can kick butt!

    (This one relates to most recent movies)
    Trailers are supposed to decieve you..

    ~ Episode 2 Trailer w/ Yoda that has the same "Ultimate Spin" as the spider-man trailer.

    ~ Scooby-doo trailer making you think it's really a batman movie..

    ~ Eight Legged Freaks making you think its another spider-man (if it <blahs> like a spider... if it <something else> like a spider>)

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Posts
    2,261

    Thumbs Up

    LOL I just want to say, this whole thread gave me the best laugh I've had in quite awhile!

    How about: Gangs of street thugs or ninjas will always attack one at the time while the others politely wait their turn.


Page 1 of 7 12345 ... Last