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Thread: Historical quotes that might have been:

  1. #1

    Historical quotes that might have been:

    Here's a game, folks:

    Come up with a quote by any famous person (whether deserving of fame or not) or historical figure (whether history truly acknowledges them, or not) that you think they should have said. No irony is too great. No inaccuracy too inscrutable.

    I'll start....

    "Gimmicks?! We don' need no steenkin' gimmicks!" -Gene Simmons of KISS.

    "Something tells meI should've stood in bed." -any historical figure who's been assassinated, and may have actually had a famous last word.

    "Sic semper terrablis....er....tyrranosaurus....er....ahhh, what the hell, just DIE!" -John Wilkes Booth

    "Somehow, I knew this was a bad idea!" -Abraham Lincoln, possibly famous last words.

    "So, other than that, how did you like the play, Mrs.Lincoln?" -anonymous usher at Ford's Theater.

    "He left me what in his will?!" -Mary Todd Lincoln



    "Bartender, pour me another before I kick this guy's ***!" -Mohandas K. Gandhi

    "He left me what in his will?!" -Indira Gandhi



    "Hey! Did you see that glint over in that grassy knoll?". -JFK
    "I'm sure it was nothing, hun." -Jacqueline "Jackie" Kennedy Onasis



    "...and now I'll show you the real power of a cell phone in use!" -The next Republican president to all Middle Eastern terrorists.
    Shanghai! Hong Kong! Egg Fu Yung! Fortune cookie always wrong!

  2. #2
    This looks like fun...

    "If I'd known what they'd do with my name, I wouldn't have bothered!" - Thomas Crapper, inventor of the lavatory.

    "They actually expect me to keep my election promises?!?" - Any politician, any nation, any time.

    "This role playing thing will never catch on" - Gary Gygax.

    "Selling pictures of men in tights? This is no way to make a living!" - Stan Lee

    "You must remember this, a kiss is just a kiss" - Giacomo Casanova

    "I actually wanted to do ballet, but that didn't work out" - Mike Tyson

    "I'm sorry, I don't understand. I've never heard that word before. What are 'principles'?" - most politicians, most places, most times.
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  3. #3
    Hahahaha....that's the spirit, Elliot!

    "Give up, Injuns! You're surroun-- Oh! My bad.". General George Armstrong Custer

    "Injun is an offensive abbreviation by the white man of an ignorant misnomer given to us by a lost Spaniard! Somebody bring me some firewater....and where in the hell did we come up with that name?! That's an oxymoron! You know, these stereotypes don't help at all! Attaaaaaaccccckkkkkkkkk!!!!!!". -Crazy Horse
    Shanghai! Hong Kong! Egg Fu Yung! Fortune cookie always wrong!

  4. #4
    **Bows**

    It's a great thread idea. How could I resist?
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  5. #5
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    "I want something different. Something that says 'Me' moreso than anyone else's. You know, a bit traditional, yet progressive at the same time. Something that'll make them remember me for who I really am." - Ahkenaten to his statue sculptor
    --->Winter's YouTube <--- Currently Serving 'TR:A'
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  6. #6
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    "You've all just been PUNKED!" ~ Jesus of Nazaret, right before a TV crew un-hides from behind bushes and rocks on top of the mount.

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  7. #7
    '' You unsavory little runt'' ~ Lara Croft 2003

  8. #8
    some good ones here.
    Shanghai! Hong Kong! Egg Fu Yung! Fortune cookie always wrong!

  9. #9
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    "I'll have a whisky and water, no ice - I SAID NO ICE!" - Captain Edward J. Smith, Captain of the Titanic.

    "Never before, in the field of Human endeavour, has so little been done by so many, for so few." - Winston Churchill [talking about the UK Civil Service].

    "Careful with that arrow, you could have someone's eye out with that." - King Harold at the Battle of Hastings in 1066.

    "I told you the ladder needed to be one rung longer." - Neil Armstrong stepping down onto the moon in 1969.



    I like this game.
    Ham and Eggs - a days work for the chicken, a lifetime commitment for the pig.
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  10. #10
    BLAM! (and after the smoke clears)
    "Cut! Cut! CUUTTTTTTT! George! Look....see, here, on page 42... It clearly says 'Han Shoots First'! Why is Greedo shooting first?! I'm supposed to shoot first!" -Harrison Ford.

    "Well, I just don't want Han to be perceived as a cold blooded killer, so I think--" -George Lucas

    "Look, George, we're going over budget here on blaster shots. By sticking to the original script, I save you some in blaster budget." -Harrispn Ford

    "Yes, but --" -George Lucas

    "Look, George, this is 1977! We're lucky to have gotten the budget we got for this movie! Maybe in a few years, when technology catches up to your imagination, you can have Pando Baba shoot first for all I care, but until then, we need to see this movie get finished, right?" -Harrison Ford

    "Light buuuuuullllllllllllbbbb......". -George Lucas
    Shanghai! Hong Kong! Egg Fu Yung! Fortune cookie always wrong!

  11. #11
    "No-one is interested in fairy tales" - Hans Christian Anderson.

    "I've grown a beard now. Beards are cool" - Aristotle.

    "I told you to get me a trombone! Some people have no sense of priorities!" - Emperor Nero.

    "Needs must when the devil drives!" - Faust

    "Plays, plays, plays! Does no-one ever read a book any more?" - William Shakespeare.

    "A good ruler should be kind and gentle with his people, showing mercy always" - Josef Stalin.

    "I'm siinging in the pain, I'm haaappy again" - The Marquis de Sade.

    "Keep it simple, stupid" - Niccolo Machiavelli.
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  12. #12
    Folks, I think we have a hit! Keep it up!
    Shanghai! Hong Kong! Egg Fu Yung! Fortune cookie always wrong!

  13. #13
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    Unless I'm mistaken, and you didn't get this idea from my historical quotes thread, it's a good idea I thought of a new quote!

    Now if only I can think of some good fictional quotes...hmmm.
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  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by The Zoo Boy View Post
    Unless I'm mistaken, and you didn't get this idea from my historical quotes thread, it's a good idea I thought of a new quote!

    Now if only I can think of some good fictional quotes...hmmm.
    Your thread did inspire this one. In truth, i would not have thought of this without your thread....so, I humbly thank you.
    Shanghai! Hong Kong! Egg Fu Yung! Fortune cookie always wrong!

  15. #15
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    "People should speak plainly. Waffling just gets on my nerves." - Will Self

    "I wish I had your faith." - Richard Dawkins

    "Modern art is pretentious twaddle and people who like it are just kidding themselves that they have good taste." - Damien Hurst

    "I loved being a vegetarian for all those years." - Chris Martin

    "Can't we just have one person beheaded?" - Queen Elizabeth II

    "I'll suggest it in my next letter." - Prince Charles

    "We could arrange for an 'accident' with my helicopter." - Prince William

    "Is it too late to suggest a constitutional monarchy with an elected parliament?" - Tsar Nicholas II

  16. #16
    "Real winners don't use drugs!" -Timothy Leary
    Shanghai! Hong Kong! Egg Fu Yung! Fortune cookie always wrong!

  17. #17
    '' Make sense right this second , or I swear I'll execute you where you stand '' ~ Lara Croft 2006

  18. #18
    "Your souls are now ours!" -any exec at Microsoft after sealing the timed exclusivity deal with the execs at Square Enix/Eidos/Crystal Dynamics.

    "Oh, we didn't see that coming!" -any exec at Square Enix/Eidos/Crystal Dynamics after losing 85 percent of the Tomb Raider fanbase/gamerbase in the Xbox timed exclusivity deal....followed swiftly by their souls.
    Shanghai! Hong Kong! Egg Fu Yung! Fortune cookie always wrong!

  19. #19
    "Of course we... hahahaha... we care about the fans... HAHAHAHAHA. Oh, god, sorry I can't keep a straight face!" - CD/SE exec, practising announcing the TR exclusivity deal.
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  20. #20


    Touche'
    Shanghai! Hong Kong! Egg Fu Yung! Fortune cookie always wrong!

  21. #21
    Only problem is, Martok - are we sure these are not real quotes?
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  22. #22
    Quote Originally Posted by Elliot Kane View Post
    Only problem is, Martok - are we sure these are not real quotes?

    Indeed. We could be psychical prophets who have divined the minds behind the deal....and we may not be aware that we've done so.
    Shanghai! Hong Kong! Egg Fu Yung! Fortune cookie always wrong!

  23. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Martok View Post
    Indeed. We could be psychical prophets who have divined the minds behind the deal....and we may not be aware that we've done so.
    You make a very good point, sir! We could indeed!
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  24. #24
    "What? Me, worry? Ha! How many can there be?"
    -Custer

    "Whaddaya think, boys? Should we just let 'em ride on through and sweat it out?"
    -Crazy Horse
    Shanghai! Hong Kong! Egg Fu Yung! Fortune cookie always wrong!

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lord Martok View Post
    Your thread did inspire this one. In truth, i would not have thought of this without your thread....so, I humbly thank you.
    A-ha, thought so. You are very welcome.

    Still, this was a great idea for a thread, too bad I am not quite good at it...
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