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Thread: My Novel.

  1. #1

    My Novel. (MUST READ!! PLEASE REPLY!!!)

    Hello all.

    I am going to be posting my novel here. The story is set in the future with a bunch of super-soldiers, MUCH like the spartans in the Halo series. Now I dont want to give alot away so please just read the novel if you want to know more. Haha.
    It's my attempt at a futuristic horror story. I have done love storys and action storys, now it's time to try my luck at horror.
    The first thing I will post is a little something I just whipped up. It is supposed to be a preview for the book.
    Now, I will not post daily, as I am sometimes very busy and can not find time to write. But I promise I will write as much as I can. Hopefully a chapter a week? Maybe 2?
    Anyways, this preview I will post is a bit of a sample of the real thing.

    Before I post, however, I just want to show where I got my inperation. I took insperation from the following games and books:

    The Dark Knight (Two-Face's design is very much like how I picture the mutants, which you will see later on in the book)
    Gears Of War (1 and 2, I am sure you will see much references to this. A few quick examples being: "Tank", a character in the book, is based loosely on the characters Cole and Tai. Also, the team overall is based off of the Gears Team)
    Halo (This will be very noticable to anybody who knows the story I am sure)

    Now these are a few people I would like to thank, there will most likely be more soon:

    Stephen. You rock dude, and I hope you can figure out which character is based off of you.

    Hunter. Thank you so much for your support. You are amazing, and I love you with all of my heart. Your the best!

    Mrs. Becky Pfaltzgraf. Thank you for your wonderful support and advice over the past year. I look forward to sharing this with you after Spring Break.

    Ok now back to the book! Many of you may notice a few characters taken from my Batman Fan-Fiction over on the Arkham Asylum section of the forums.

    Well, Happy reading to all! I will have chapter one up tomorrow.

    EDIT: Another quick note, the "horror" aspect of the novel will not really start utnil a bit later. The beginning is just to introduce everything, let you get a feel for the characters and learn who they really are. Then you get into all the action. I will most likely be leaving this novel open for a sequal as well, but that is undecided at this point.

  2. #2
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    We'll be watching for it, Kain!

  3. #3

    Preview

    (NOTE: Preview is supposed to resemble a movie preview, describing what we see as the different scenes flash across the screen. The scenes are set to the song "Requiem for a Dream", which is part of my inspiration for this book when I am writing. My next two are the songs "So Cold" By Static-X, and "Dream on" By Aerosmith.)

    "Soldiers of the lost" (working title) Preview 1:
    "Infection"

    The screen starts out black.
    Words appear on the screen saying: "3 Months Before The Infection"
    The screen goes black again, the song begins to play.
    We suddenly see a close-up shot of Randy, the main character. The camera slowly zooms out showing him in a green army jeep as it speeds across the desert. The driver is Jerry, the leader of his group. In the background we see another jeep with two others, Neal and Jack, riding behind them.
    Randy looks up at the sky and his voice cuts in.
    Randy: "They told us it would help. They told us it would cure any kind of sickness." He pauses, looking back at a large metal box that is in the back seat that has the "Bio hazard" symbol on it. The camera zooms in on the symbol, and the screen goes black. At this point the song is still very quiet in the background. Randy cuts back in after a few seconds. "They were wrong."

    The screen lights up with more words saying: "2 Months Before Infection"
    Suddenly we see a door covered in caution tape. Randy is standing outside in his armor. Standing beside him is Tank, also in his armor.
    "What happened here?" Tank asks as the screen flips to Tank and Randy talking to an officer. The officer is older, his face covered in wrinkles. He is wearing a gas-mask.
    "The man went crazy. He killed his wife, and child, then himself." The officer says.
    "I want to see the body." Randy says quickly.
    The scene flips to Tank pulling a white cloth, which has dried blood stains here and there, off of the body. The body is not shown, but you can tell by the expression on the now maskless Randy's face, it is not a very pretty sight.

    The screen goes black again. More words appear: "30 Days Before Infection."
    Then the days slowly start going down. "29, 28, 27, ect." They then start flipping down faster and faster.
    The screen goes black again and a static-filled voice comes in.
    "Team Alpha? Team Alpha?!! Team Alpha...do you copy?! This is Private Drake...come in Team Alpha!"
    The screen lights up orange with a shot of a collapsing Statue Of Liberty. Fire is spreading all over the place. The screen goes blank once more and flips to a beat-up Randy. He has scratches and dents all over his armor, and blood is splattered everywhere.
    "Drake...run." Randy whispers.
    The screen goes black once more and the preview ends.

  4. #4

    1

    Prologue:

    Cold.

    The cold is all I feel. Like Winter... but in the summer. My skin is getting frostbite all over, like I am laying naked in the snow and ice storms. Surely I must be dead. Surely there must be some light in the darkness, coming to free me from this hell of a planet.
    How did this happen? Why did it happen?
    Whatever happened to right and wrong? Goood and evil?!
    Now it's always "the lesser of two evils".
    Here I was, the guy who thought we would be good for America. The guy who thought the government was the way to go! The people to look to for help!!
    What a screw up I was...

    -Number 372 AKA: Bill Lux

    Chapter 1:

    The year is 2245.
    The US Government has started the Super Soldier Program (SSP). They have been training soldiers in secret, not wanting to yet release them to the public eye.
    Signing up for the program was completely optional...at first.
    In the beginning a lot of us wanted in. I think they said there were about four hundred of us. Each was drugged with something called "Red". It gave us super strength, speed, a healing factor, you name it.
    I made a lot of cool friends in the program. We trained together and, when the time came, we fought together. At first we just did secret missions for the Government. We were at war with China, and frankly, there were just some things our Military couldn't do against theirs. I remember watching old movies as a kid, and China always seemed to have the strong powerful crap... well that was pretty much how it was now, except instead of it being giant mech suits and robots that we were fighting, it was just a huge army with much more advanced weapons. I mean, I've seen some pretty cool things on out side and all, but they had lasers. And you just can't beat a nice laser.

    But enough about China and the Super Soldier Project, let's talk about me, shall we?
    My name is Randy Miller. I was one of the first two hundred in the project. I was taken away from family and friends with the sign of my name. Do I regret it? Nope, not one bit.
    I didn't have the best family, and as far as friends went, well, I wasn't a very social person. I was quiet and shy, which is why I stand out from the rest of the unit.
    I'm stuck in a group of five, like most others. We are all unique in our own ways. And it ain't just our personality's either. We got our own, custom made armor. Each and every one of us.
    See, here's how the group is:

    First there's our leader, Jerry. He's not much of a talker either unless he's giving commands, but he does that a lot. He doesn't get to personal with us. I wasn't sure why he was so stand-offish at first, but then I started to hear stories about him around the base. They say he lost his whole squad before we came along, and he never forgave himself for loosing them... or something like that.
    His armor has a built in teleporter, or what we like to call "Jumper". He can't go to far with it, but he can appear in nearby buildings, and he has no limit to how many times he can do it. His armor is a navy-blue and covers his whole body. His helmet almost resembles a knight from the old days, but it's much stronger and much more comfortable.

    Next there's "Tank", or "Little Jimmy". Now this guy is one you never want to mess with. You get in a fight with this guy: your gonna lose. He's strong as an ox and he's got the muscles to prove it. He got his nickname, The Tank, because of his special armor. A good way to describe it is just a big black dome with arms and legs. He has the ability to use a super charge, which lets him ram through any wall, car, or even a tank, like a Rhino.

    Then there's Neal. Neal can be a real chatter box. He's got a very strong Southern accent, and always wears a cowboy hat instead of a helmet. He doesn't have to much armor either. He claims that the armor gets in the way when he needs to move quickly, but I never had such a problem. What he does have is a metal vest, metal gloves, elbow pads, and knee pads. That's his only real source of protection. Other then that he wears blue jeans and a tank top, unless it's cold. Across the front of his vest is a Confederate flag that he painted himself.
    He doesn't have any special armor power because he doesn't have much armor to help with that.

    Last, but not least, is my best friend Jack. Jack's got somewhat of a tragic history. He used to be in the military long before I was. One day when he was on leave he was in a car accident, and his car caught fire. He was left with horrible scars, and he always wore a mask to hide his face from the public. I personally have never seen his real face, but I know it's really bad. He once told me his biggest fear is somebody pulling his mask off in a crowded area, where everybody could see.
    So, of course, Jack wears a helmet.
    The team has dubbed Jack "Pyro", in honor of his armor power. Jack can create short bursts of fire from mini-flamethrowers on his wrists. An ironic power for somebody who claims he is scared of fire...

    My armor is all black. My helmet is a bit more of a gas-mask then an actual helmet. It is easily breakable, and isn't the most comfortable piece I've worn.
    My torso is bulky, well at least for me. I'm the smallest one in the group so it is a bit heavy on me.
    My power is the ability to use life-support in battle. If I am shot down my armor will start to heal me as much as it can to keep me alive. I haven't needed to use it yet...
    But anyways, today is a day unlike most others. We are being sent out somewhere in the desert to retrieve a package by Team Bravo, our "Brother Team". These are the guys we see when we need back-up. They have helped us on a few missions, but we never got to know each other to well.

    We were going eighty percent of the way via chopper, but we would have to take a truck in the city.
    "Drop off point five minutes away." The pilot said.
    "Understood." Jerry replied. "Alright, everybody ready?"
    "I have a question." Jack said, leaning forward in his seat.
    "Yes Jack?" Jerry asked.
    "Why do we need guns? I mean, this city is friendly right?"
    "Sorry, I wish I could give you an answer, but I'm just following orders here. I don't even know what it is we are picking up." Jerry sighed.
    I looked out the window and noticed that the city was already in sight. They would be dropping us off soon.
    "Where exactly are we gonna get the wheels?" Tank asked after a few minutes.
    "Our old friend Bill will be supplying the ride. You all remember him, I'm sure." Jerry said.
    I remembered Bill. He was the leader of Team Bravo. He was a nice guy.

    "Here we are boys." The pilot said. "I'm coming in for a landing."
    "Understood." Jerry said, slipping on his helmet. "You cowboys ready?"
    Tank stood and stretched as the chopper landed. "Boss, after that ride I am gonna feel like a kid on Christmas morning when I get to a bathroom."
    "Heard that." Jack said as he stood.
    I stood and stretched as well. It was about a two hour ride, but it was a very bumpy one.

    Jerry stepped out of the chopper and walked outside to meet Bill. Neal and Tank followed soon after.
    "Let's go." Jack said, walking outside.
    I followed after him, but stopped as I was monetarily blinded by the sun-light.
    "Thank god!" I heard Tank exclaim. I saw he was walking off towards a gas station as the others walked over to Bill. Jack was following right behind him.
    "This is our ride?" Neal asked, staring at the old truck.
    It was covered in rust, and the turret mounted in the back looked older then even Neal.
    "There is no way we are all gonna fit in that thing." I said.
    "You arn't. Some of you will be riding in the back." Bill said, gesturing to the flat back of the truck where the turret was mounted.
    "Tank's gonna have to ride back there. There is no way he will fit in the front." Jerry said.
    "That dude's a brute." Bill replied.
    "You ever see him in combat?" Neal asked.
    "Yeah, a few times when we were paired up I saw him do a little fighting." Bill said.
    I zoned out for the rest of the conversation. I was hot in my armor, and I didn't have any water on me.

    After a bit Tank and Jack came walking out. Jerry made sure we were ready, and we left. It was time to get the package.
    It was a short ride into the city. We got stuck in a small bit of traffic though, and I was stuck out back with Tank and Neal. So here I was in the hot desert sun with a dry throat and nothing to drink for about five minutes.
    I removed my helmet, and that helped. I could feel the air blow through my sandy-blond hair.

    When we finally reached the small warehouse turned base I jumped out of the truck and walked inside.
    "Well look who it is." One of the soldiers said. I didn't recognize him, but he didn't have his suit on and I have never seen the Bravo Team without their armor.
    "I bet you don't recognize me." He smirked. He had long black hair and bright green eyes.
    "No, I don't." I said, putting my helmet down on a table.
    "It's Drake, number 268." He replied.
    "Oh!" I smiled. Drake and I were good buddies. We had known each other since childhood. I couldn't believe I didn't recognize him. It had been so long since we had seen each other out of our armor though.
    "Hows the Military life treating you?" He asked, getting a glass of water from a large fridge and handing it to me. I quickly gulped it down.
    "It's...exciting I suppose." I said, pulling a chair out and sitting down. "Hey, what's the big secret package we are retrieving?"
    Drake looked over his shoulder, then back to me. "Come here, I'll show you." He said, walking towards the back of the room.
    There was a large box covered by a dark green tarp.
    "What is it?" I asked.
    "Just wait." He smirked, pulling off the tarp.
    The box was a bright silver. It had three locks to keep it from opening. On the very top was a large "Bio Hazard" sign.
    "Bio Hazard? What are we gonna do, nuke China?"
    "No, no. It's supposed to be sent to some medical plant back over in New York. They say it's gonna prevent any sickness. Like the flu, strep-throat, it will even prevent cancer." Drake replied with a smile.
    "Oh yeah? Because the last time I remember the first time the super-soldier drug was invented. It didn't go well, you should know that." I nearly growled.
    (NOTE: Reference to the Batman Fan-Fic, anybody who hasn't read it, most likely won't get it.)
    "No man, this is different! This is going to prevent that kind of thing, at least that's what Bill has been teaching us." Drake said.
    "I hope for our sake your right about this stuff..." I sighed.

    The beginning of the end...

  5. #5
    Hey everybody, I hope you all enjoyed Chapter one. Just a quick update here. I have been spending a lot of time working on Chapter 2, and it should be up tonight. I may just edit this post to post it, but I wil most likely just put it in a seperate post.
    Tell me what you guys think, is it good so far? And please if there is anything I need to add or take away PLEASE tell me. Just please make sure it's not something major that HAS to be there.

  6. #6
    Sorry for the delay everybody, my computer was being a you-know-what yesterday, so I was on my PSP, which I can't do any writing on. But the chapter is finished now! The only thing I have to say is that it has not yet been proof-read, and when it is if there are errors I will be editing this post and replacing this chapter with the proof-read one.
    Happy reading, I will get to work on Chapter 3 today as well. Comments welcome!! (Good and Bad)


    Chapter 2:

    "Yo Jerry! When we getting out of here?" Tank yelled across the room.
    Jerry sighed and turned around to face him.
    "You in a hurry Jimmy?" He asked.
    "Hey, you gonna call me Jimmy, you make sure it's Little Jimmy."
    "That's like calling a big wrestler 'Tiny'." Jack laughed, his voice rough and raspy under his helmet.
    "Yeah, well I grew up in the projects and-"
    "Ok, we get that. You only told us five hundred times now." Drake interrupted.
    Tank stood up and walked over to Drake. My stomach sank when I saw how big he was compared to my friend.
    "You wanna talk, you wait your turn little man." Tank spat.
    "Then stop repeating yourself." Drake said in a confident voice, standing up as well.
    "Hey! Break it up you two. Save it for the real enemy." Bill yelled.
    Tank smirked and walked back to his seat. He could have probably taken out Drake with a single punch if he wanted.
    Drake sat and glared at Tank for a few seconds before turning to me. "Well, I suppose you have to go soon." He said, popping a piece of gum in his mouth.
    "Most likely." I replied.
    Just as I spoke, Jerry clapped his hands together and told us it was time to get the package back. He called control and had them send a chopper back to get us at the extraction point.

    We didn't take the truck back, instead we put the large metal box in the back of a green jeep. I rode with Jerry, and the others took their own jeep. We flew out across the hot desert and went back to the gas station, where the chopper picked us up. It was another long ride back...

    -One week later-

    Like most teams, we were stationed at our own base. This was the place we contacted when we needed supplies, back-up, Intel, all sorts of stuff. It was also where we stayed in between missions, unless you count being on leave. I usually slept at one of the guy's house, as I didn't have much of a home outside of the SSP. I stayed at Drake's once, that was fun I guess.

    My real life was out on the field, where the action was. Not at home. We would be going on leave soon, and personally, I was not looking forward to it. We had about two days before we got the boot out the door.

    It was a slow day back at the base. Jack was watching Foot-Ball on the flat-screen, Jerry was looking for something to eat, Neal was playing his Banjo, Tank was in his room playing video games, and I was pretty much just watching everything.
    At least they fed us good and made sure we got enough action to stay in our fighting moods.

    I stood from the couch, not able to take the Foot-Ball/Banjo music any longer, and walked towards my room.

    Being the youngest of the team, I was the one to get bored the fastest. I didn't like sitting still all that much, and I really hated Neal's Banjo. Tank wasn't the biggest fan of it either, which is why he was sitting in his room playing horror games with the lights off.

    "Hey! Who ate my steak?!" I heard Jerry yell as I left the room.
    I walked past Tank's room, and stopped suddenly at his voice whispering behind me.
    "Hey, kid." He whispered.
    "Yeah?" I asked, spinning around. He was peeking his bald head out of the room with a scared, yet rather childish, look on his face.
    "Did you hear the news?" He asked, his voice still a whisper.
    I shook my head, some of my hair falling down into my eyes. "What news?"
    "Keep it down!" He ordered.
    "Ok..." I whispered. "What news?" I couldn't help but feel like I was doing a drug deal. I hate that feeling, when I think I am doing something illegal.
    He looked around then gestured for me to come in his room. This was the point where I was scared. See, when a really big guy asks me to come in his very dark room and talk... I tend to want to puke.

    I walked in his room, unwillingly, and sat in a chair he had by the tv. Tank followed me in and closed his door.
    "Alright..." He said in his normal voice. "I overheard some pretty bad news."
    "Like what?" I asked, leaning back in the chair.
    "Well... I heard that the need for Super-Soldiers is decreasing on the battlefield, but they want to use us out there." He said, pointing in a random direction. "That's why we are going on leave, so they can decide if they want to keep us doing these special missions, of if they want to use us like...like cops!"
    We were stationed in New York, and I had heard that the crime rate had been going up lately. I read in the paper they were thinking about getting the army involved, but I had heard nothing about them using us.
    "Whoa...wait." I said, standing up. "Your telling me they want to use us as crime fighters?"
    He nodded and sighed.
    "That's insane!" I exclaimed.
    "I know, but what can we do if they decide that they want us out?" He asked.
    "They won't. They need us." I frowned. "We did a lot for them, they can't just throw us out!"
    "I don't know dog. It looks like we might be back in the real world soon. Which reminds me, we are going on leave soon, and you most likely need a place to stay?"
    I sighed. Half of me was glad the subject had changed.
    "Yeah why, you offering?" I asked.
    "Shoot kid, I ain't got nothin' to do except watch tv and go clubbing. You need a place to stay, I'm your man." He smiled. He did one of those brotherly slaps on my back, then opened his door and pushed me out. "Back to the game." I heard him say to himself as he shut the door.

    I stood outside his room in a bit of a confused daze. What just happened?
    "Thank you?" I said, before turning back towards my room and walking away.

    "Score! That's five bucks!" I heard Jack yell at Neal as I walked down the hall.
    "No! They cheated!" Neal cried. his accent strong in his voice. I assumed they were still watching Foot-Ball.
    "Hold on just a moment." I heard Jerry say in the other room when I walked by. His calm controlled voice was followed by a loud yell, his voice he normally used when giving us commands on the field. "Would you two shut up?! I'm on the damn phone!"
    "Dang." I corrected as I walked past. I wasn't a big fan of curse words, not one bit. I was the most religious of the team, always wearing a cross necklace, always keeping a Bible in my room, ect.
    Jerry ignored me and went back to talking on the phone. "Look, alls I'm asking is, while your out pick us up some steak." There was a moment of silence followed by "Of course I'll pay you!"

    "Talking to Jane?" I asked as I walked into my room.
    He nodded. Jane was his girlfriend, and our personal field supervisor. Whenever we were out she sat at a computer and made sure we got everything we needed. We get in over our heads, she sends Team Bravo to help us correct our mistakes.

    I sat on my bed and sighed. Were they really going to end our missions?

    -2 Days Later-

    "Kid, you ready yet?" Tank asked as he peeked into my room.
    "Almost, I just have to find my book!" I replied, getting on the floor and looking under my bed. I never left the house without my war journal, it's where I wrote everything down. Every day I wrote an entry explaining the days events.
    "Ah come on kid, we can buy a new one when we stop at the store." He sighed.
    I stood, not finding anything under the bed but a pen. "Fine." I said in defeat. Lord knows where it could have gone when I miss-placed it. I loose something, it ain't found until a month or two later.
    I grabbed my bags and walked out in the hall. Tank already loaded up his stuff.
    "Let's go." He said, turning and walking towards the door.
    I followed after him quickly. His long legs made him walk much faster then me, which is why I never raced him.

    We walked out into the rainy city and walked toward Tank's large black van. On the side were big white letters like graffiti that said "TANK".
    We were a little ways from all of the large buildings and skyscrapers, you know, the stuff you think of when you hear about The Big Apple. See, over the years the city had grown bigger and bigger, and the population kept shooting up, so there was another Island added that was strictly for housing and education. It's name was simply "District one", in case there came a time when there was a need for a "District two".

    Tank opened the back doors on the van and put my bags in. He closed the doors, walked to the drivers side, and climbed in.
    I went to the passenger seat and climbed in next to him.
    "So, how did you over-hear the news?" I asked, trying to make conversation. Tank could be a real taker, if you started the conversation anyways, but he was no where near as talkative as Neal.
    "I heard Jerry talking over the phone to Jane. They are attending a meeting tomorrow to try to keep us in business." Tank replied.
    "Why aren't we going?" I asked. We had every right to fight as they did!
    "I never said we weren't, in fact I'm calling Jerry tonight and having a nice little talk with him about this meeting." Tank said.
    "He better let us." I frowned.
    Tank sighed and turned on the radio. Rap music blared loudly through the speakers.
    "This whole thing sucks." I heard Tank say to himself.

  7. #7
    I like it. Very lengthy and descriptive. Keep up the wall of texts.

  8. #8
    Join Date
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    Thumbs Up

    I read your preview, Kain. I like what I've read so far.

  9. #9
    I am glad you guys like it. I will try to get Chapter 3 up today.

  10. #10
    You better not do what CapedCrusader1495 did with his Gotham City fan-fic!This is really good.

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by mwkcope View Post
    You better not do what CapedCrusader1495 did with his Gotham City fan-fic!This is really good.
    Uh oh, what did he do with is? O.O lol I have not even read it yet so if I do something he did then I swear I have no intention on doing so, and thanks.

  12. #12
    After chapter 3,the thread just stopped.He said he was thinking of Chapter 4,but it never happened.If it wasn't for me,the thread would've been on the last page forever.But he never wrote 4.In a matter of fact,his last post was in October!

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by mwkcope View Post
    After chapter 3,the thread just stopped.He said he was thinking of Chapter 4,but it never happened.If it wasn't for me,the thread would've been on the last page forever.But he never wrote 4.In a matter of fact,his last post was in October!
    Ah, no I am known for finishing my Novels. Haha. I did take a break from the sequal to my Batman fan-fic though to write this. But I will not be stopping this until it is finished.

  14. #14

    Unhappy Ahhh!

    Sorry for not getting the next Chapter up sooner guys. It's VERY close to being finished, I just have to do a bit more typing, and then I have to do a little editing, and then done. So if not tonight, tomorrow I promise. Seeing that it is Friday I can stay up later to write.

  15. #15
    Alright, again sorry for all of the delay. Chapter 3 is now finished, it just needs proof-read.

  16. #16
    Here it is, just finished proof-reading, also did a bit of a edit to the ending of the Chapter.

    I have to admit, I fell that there are some sections in this Chapter that are a bit on the rushed side, but I hope you guys can get some enjoyment out of it. The real action will start later in the story, but I will be sure to add a small bit here and there, as you can see in this Chapter.

    Chapter 3:

    It wasn't long before we had reached Tank's house. Personally, I hated calling him Tank outside of the base, but Little Jimmy was a bit much. Why couldn't he just let me call him Jim? Like a normal person.
    "Home sweet home." He smiled as we pulled into the driveway. He lived in a pretty big house, bigger then anything I could have afforded anyways. He had a wife and a daughter, so every time he got to come home he was happy as could be.
    "How do you do it?" I asked.
    "Huh? Do what?" He replied, looking at me with an odd expression.
    "How do you deal with having a family, and always having to leave them behind when it's time to go back to work?"
    He stared at me for a moment, then looked out the window as he took a minute to think.
    "Well, I guess when you put it like that it's pretty black and white sounding kid." He sighed, then looked back at me. "But that's the glass half empty way of viewing things. I tend to view it the other way. See, the way I see it, even though I don't get to see my little girl and my beautiful wife a whole lot, when I do get the chance to see them, it makes life a whole lot better. Just that little window of time with them... it's something magic kid, and I ain't one for feelings like that."
    I nodded, taking in his words. "I suppose that makes sense." I said.
    He smiled, then looked out the windshield at the house.
    "Let's go kid." He said, getting out and walking around the back to get our bags. He got everything except one of my little bags, which I carried up. I opened the door and let him step inside before I followed after and closed the door behind us.
    "Anybody home?" His voice boomed. The only reply was a faint echoing through the halls.
    "I'll take that as a no." I said, walking up to the guest bedroom to set my bags down.
    When I walked back downstairs I found Tank laying on the couch, watching the news. He looked back at me and smiled.
    "Take a seat brother." He said. I smiled back and took a seat in one of the armchairs across from him.
    Tank's tv was huge. It was bigger then even me, and almost as big as him.

    "And in other news," The news woman said in a cheery voice, which I thought was pretty fake sounding. "The new 'mirical cure' vaccine will be out on June fifth! People have been eagerly awaiting it's arrival and-"
    "That's just two more weeks." I said over the voice of the news lady.
    "Yeah, they produce that stuff pretty fast these days huh?" Tank yawned.
    "Welcome to the future." I replied with a small smirk.

    Tank sighed and sat up. He looked at me then at the tv. "Wanna do something?" He asked.
    "Well that depends on your definition of something, because if you body slam me I would most likely die a horrible, painful death." I replied. Tank chuckled, taking that as a joke... I hoped he knew I wasn't kidding.
    "I meant video games or something." He said.
    "I'm not very good at games." I frowned.
    "All the more reason you let me teach you how to be a good player." He argued.
    "I would rather you just called Jerry already. We need to be in that meeting." I sighed, thinking about the horrid thought of kicking us from SSP.
    Tank frowned and nodded. He stood and walked over to the small table next to my seat, where his phone was laying.
    He picked up the phone, dialed Jerry's number, then waited.
    "I'll put him on speaker." Tank said, hitting the speaker button.
    After two rings Jerry picked up.
    "Hello?" Jerry's voice asked from the small phone.
    "Jerry, it's Tank and Randy. We need to talk to you." Tank said, his voice now deep and serious instead of joking and playful. Tank could change emotions in a snap. Not in a bi-polar way, but in a way where if he wanted to act tough, he could, and if he wanted to act like a clown, he could do that too.
    "Oh? Well Neal and I were just going to get a few drinks with Jack, do you want to talk over a beer?" Jerry asked, his voice now somewhat lighter and happy.
    "Sure, what bar?" Tank asked.
    "Lacy's." Jerry replied.
    "We got a bar named Lacy's?" I heard Neal ask in the background.
    "Yeah, just opened up." Jerry said, his voice quieter. I assumed he was holding the phone away from his mouth for a moment.
    "We'll meet you there." Tank said. "I think it's a good thing we will all be present."
    There was a small beep when Jerry hung up the phone. Tank turned towards me and gave me a odd look. I wasn't sure, but I guess I had a weird expression.
    "What?" Tank asked.
    "You know I don't drink. At all." I replied with a frown.
    "Get a coke then." Tank shrugged.

    -1 Hour Later, Lacy's Bar and Restaurant-

    Tank and I stood at the bar, looking for Jerry or the others.
    "I think I see Neal." Tank said, then stumbled forward as some drunk guy pushed through the crowd to get to the front of the bar.
    The bar was overly crowded, and frankly, it was making me claustrophobic. I was trying to look through the crowd to see Neal, or at least the person who Tank thought was Neal.
    "Wait, never mind." Tank frowned. "False alarm. He had a cowboy hat."
    "I thought nobody else had those things anymore." I said.
    "I did too." Tank said, then smiled when he looked back at the door. I looked over and saw Jack walking in, his face covered in a old skull mask that went around his head. This was one of the only things he had outside of his armor. Jack was wearing a black t-shirt and black jean shorts. On his arms and legs we very visible scars and burns.
    (NOTE: For those of you who have read my fan-fic Batman: Revolved, Jack most likely will only put on the "Death" suit once in the whole book, and it won't be for a very long time.)
    "Hey Jack!" I yelled. "Over here."
    Jack looked over at us and his eyes lit up under his mask. I could tell he was smiling by that twinkle in his eyes.
    "Hey man." I said when he got in what I thought was a good enough range to hear.
    "Hello." He said, his voice rough. "Where are the others?"
    Jack was sort of odd. His behavior almost reminded me of a vampires sometimes.
    "I don't think the others are here yet." I replied.
    "But it's still hard to tell." Tank finished.

    Just then I felt a hand grab my shoulder, making me jump. When I turned around I saw it was only Neal. He was wearing a t-shirt with the sleeves cut off. It had the Confederate flag across the front.
    "Hey, we're over on the other end of the building." Neal said, his southern accent still strong, even over the crowd.
    I nodded and gave Tank a small bump. When he turned to look at me I simply gestured for him to follow us.
    Jack and Tank followed behind Neal and I until we reached Jerry. I really didn't even recognize him at first.
    Jerry's head had been completely shaved. No hair at all.
    "Jerry? Aw dog what did you do to your hair?" Tank asked.
    "I realized I didn't look all that tough with hair." He shrugged. "And whenever I went out in my armor I came back with helmet hair."
    Tank shook his head and frowned. I took a seat at the end of the table. Jack sat next to me, and the other three sat on the other side.
    "Ok, now we need to talk." Tank said, looking over at Jerry.
    "Right." Jerry nodded. "What is it?"
    "I heard about this whole thing that's going down. Randy and I want in there when it happens, you need us." Tank replied.
    "I don't need you. I am the leader of this team. Now, that said, I want you there, and you can come." Jerry said.
    Neal and Jack looked across the table at each other. I saw Jack shrug out of the corner of my eye, and Neal frown.
    "I guess I need to tell the two of you now..." Jerry said.
    That was all it took for me to pull out my MP3 and zone out.

    It wasn't until I saw the waitress coming with my drink, a coke that Jack kindly ordered for me, that I snapped out of it. I paused my MP3 player to see if Jerry had stopped explaining.
    "I'm just saying I don't like Country, it's just not my thing." Jack was explaining to Neal. I assumed they were in another fight about the Banjo, which happened quite often.
    "Country is true art, not that screaming..." He paused, eyeing me. He knew I would correct him just as soon as he cussed. "Crap that you and Randy listen to."
    "It's not crap." I frowned.
    The waitress finally pushed her way past the lake of people and gave us all our drinks. I wasn't even sure what Neal and Tank had, but it didn't look legal in my eyes. Jerry just got a beer, and Jack got a Diet Coke. Like me, Jack didn't drink.

    I sat for a moment and listened to Jerry and Tank talk about the meeting. Again, I zoned out. I sat and thought about what could happen if they made us these... super-cops that they want. It couldn't work, we just were not made for that.
    It wasn't long before a sudden ear-piercing noise came from the bar area. It was a loud "boom". Now, me being around these kinds of noises on the field, it really didn't affect me.

    The room was suddenly dead silent, you could hear a pen drop. I couldn't see anything past the crowd of people, but I could hear somebody yelling pretty loud.

    "Give me... the money." The male voice yelled. I could tell by the somewhat stupid way he spoke he was just drink off of his mind at the moment.
    I looked over at Tank as he stood and tried to see what was going on. Seeing that he was the tallest one here, he could see over the crowd.

    Everybody was backing away slowly, and Tank started walking through them towards the man. It had gotten to the point to which I could actually see the man. He was shorter, about my height maybe, he had red hair that was long in the back, but short in the front. He looked like he could be in his late twenties, early thirties.

    "Tank? What are you doing?" Neal asked. I saw Tank frown as he walked closer to the man.
    "I'm gonna do something about this." He replied.
    I watched as Tank walked right up to the man. The man turned as Tank poked his shoulder. the little red-haired man looked so helpless when he looked up at Tank. I could tell just by the look on his face he knew he would lose, but then again, the main was drunk, so who knew what he was thinking?
    "S-stay back man!" He yelled, holding his gun up towards Tank.
    Tank simply smirked in return and backed away. He had the "I know what I'm doing" look on his face, which meant he was planning something.
    "I am gonna wipe that smile off your face!" The man yelled, shooting his gun again.

    I closed my eyes. I was not in the mood for seeing the walls painted with Tank's blood. After a few seconds I worked up the courage to open my eyes, and found myself stunned at the fact that the bullet had completely missed him. Instead of hitting Tank, the bullet had gone past him, and out the window. At first I didn't see how the man could have missed him point-blank. I mean, Tank was huge, and he wasn't even trying to dodge.
    The man fired off his gun again and the room was filled with ear-piercing shrieks. Again, the man missed. Tank just stood there smiling while the man backed away. A clicking noise came from the gun when he tried to shoot again. Tank smiled wider and walked after him.
    "Oh man, I'm so screwed!" The guy yelped. He kept backing up until finally he ran into the bar. Tank pulled back his fist and slammed it into the guys face, which sent him flying back over the bar.
    "Broken nose, two teeth missing, you wanna try again?" Tank asked.
    The man just stayed down, blood gushing from his mouth and nose. Tank looked around at all of the scared faces and then walked back to the table.
    "Dang..." Neal said. "You still got quite a arm."
    "Yeah... he won't be getting up any time soon." Tank smirked.
    Jack sighed and flipped up the bottom part of his mask to take another drink. He was very good at keeping any of us from seeing him.
    "Well..." I frowned. "I'm ready to go."
    Jerry laughed. "Ah, your probably just worked up about the meeting eh? Well, you don't need to worry about a thing. None of you do. If they got rid of us they would be sorry."
    Neal nodded. "Yeah, they ain't gonna do nothin'."
    I forced a smile at them. "I guess so." I said, trying to make my voice sound happy.

    The thing was, bigger problems were coming. Problems the whole world would soon have to face along with New York. All because of the little "mirical cure" that we thought would save lives.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Posts
    1,658
    Hey this is really cool Kain. I love writing myself so I also love to read others writing. I've read the preview and half of the first chapter and it's great so far. I'll continue reading over the next couple of days.

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Max 28 View Post
    Hey this is really cool Kain. I love writing myself so I also love to read others writing. I've read the preview and half of the first chapter and it's great so far. I'll continue reading over the next couple of days.
    Thanks. Hope you enjoy the rest of the book!

  19. #19
    FINALLY.Oh,by the way,you mispelled miracle.

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by mwkcope View Post
    FINALLY.Oh,by the way,you mispelled miracle.
    I had it right but the spell check was all like "Nooo! You gotta spell it THIS WAY!!" lol, ill have to fix it when i get the chance.

  21. #21
    Ok.Well,maybe you could make it a trademark

  22. #22
    This is really good. Sorry about the mishap with our Batman fan fiction I just wasn't really into it anymore. But great Job.

  23. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by SolidSnake_123 View Post
    This is really good. Sorry about the mishap with our Batman fan fiction I just wasn't really into it anymore. But great Job.
    no worries, it happens! And besides, now i am writing my own stuff with just some references to batman, so its much better.

  24. #24
    Quote Originally Posted by kain9998 View Post
    no worries, it happens! And besides, now i am writing my own stuff with just some references to batman, so its much better.
    Yeah man. Keep up the great Work.

  25. #25
    Funny,you were the last person to compliment on Caped crusaders fan fic before it die-



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