View Full Version : COMPETITION TIME! Thursday Competition Time! w00t w00t w00t!

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16th Jul 2009, 16:53
Hi everyone, gather round, gather round....

It's that time of the week where I become hysterically intoxicated on a heady cocktail of long hours mixed with unfortunate PR episodes and turn to you, the fine upstanding folk of the Official Batman: Arkham Asylum Community for sanity and sobriety.... or in this case STUPID CAPTIONS! http://e.deviantart.net/emoticons/h/headbang.gif

THAT'S RIGHT! I've got a very cool Batman: Arkham Asylum poster to give away, but this isn't just a normal poster, oh no, it has been lovingly signed by the Rocksteady team with one of those cool silver pens that take ages to wash off your hands. That's a lot of silver ink and a lot of signatures making this poster nothing short of collector's item in its own right!

All you have to do to be in with a chance of winning this unique prize is put a caption to the following image:


I'll pick the caption I like best and this will be closed at 4pm GMT on MONDAY the 20th of July. You can have as many attempts as you like though and the funnier the better (but keep it clean plz)!

And... GO! http://e.deviantart.net/emoticons/p/popcorn.gif

Small pint:
1. Winners will be notified within 52 days of closing date by e-mail or Private Message on http://forum.eidosgames.com. 2. A list of winners, including names and country, will be available within 6 weeks of competition closing. These can be obtained by sending a Stamped Addressed Envelope to the Promoter (see 9 below). 3. Eidos Interactive Limited accept no responsibility for entries/prizes lost or distorted in transmission. 4. There is no cash alternative to the prizes. 5. Eidos Interactive Limited reserves the right to substitute prizes with others of at least equivalent value. 6. Competition not open to employees of Eidos Interactive Limited, their agents and suppliers. 7. The Promoter's decision is final and no correspondence will be entered in to. 8. No purchase necessary. 9. The competition promoter is Eidos Interactive Ltd, Wimbledon Bridge House, 1 Hartfield Road, Wimbledon, London, SW19 3RU.

16th Jul 2009, 17:01
Gordon - Your on Bats i bet you the asylum that Joker wont break free from here AGAIN!

Bats - Easy just wait and see ... ( i think batman saw the E3 gameplay start )

16th Jul 2009, 17:02
Aaannnnnnnnnddddd... we've officially held hands three seconds too long.

16th Jul 2009, 17:02
Batman: Why is your hand all sticky? O.O

16th Jul 2009, 17:03
Uh, Batman... my eyes are up here.

16th Jul 2009, 17:03
Gordon: I really hope you washed your hands.

16th Jul 2009, 17:04
"1234 i declare a thumb war!"

16th Jul 2009, 17:05


Jim Gordan; Sniff Awww Did you Just Fart!

Batman; I had tacos.

16th Jul 2009, 17:05
Gordon: Is this where we kiss?

16th Jul 2009, 17:07
Batman - Gordon you know Harley likes men in masks and MUCH younger people than you

Gordon - I have the charm and you are really aggressive i bet you the place as police commisioner that she will fall for me.

Batman - She will do a lot more to me than what she will do to you :whistle:

16th Jul 2009, 17:08
Batman: I see youve rolled your sleeves up to signify you mean buisness
Gordon: Its alot better than dressing up like a 5 yr old trick or treater
Batman: Touce'

16th Jul 2009, 17:10
Gordon : Ahh, bruce!...If i'd have known I would have worn my Lycra aswell.

16th Jul 2009, 17:11
Batman: so whats the plan?
Gordon: I run in guns blazing and get captured, then you dramaticly save me in my moment of upmost despair.
Batman: Familiar but effective ... I like it!

16th Jul 2009, 17:14
Batman: Jim, how the hell did you afford that gold watch under a police officer's salary?

Gordon: Uh, it was a... gift... Yeah, a gift. My dead grandpa gave it to me when he had... a... kidney cancer.

Batman: Kidney cancer, eh...

Gordon: Yes. 0_o

Why So Serious ?
16th Jul 2009, 17:14
Gordon: Did you hear?
Batman: Hear what?
Gordon: that the bird is the word...
B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word
A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word
A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word

16th Jul 2009, 17:15
Batman- You Have really soft hands! Do you moisturize?

16th Jul 2009, 17:16
Gordon : Ahh batman! Glad your here!...Ive been meaning to ask you...when is the demo coming?...

Batman: hmphhhh.... KEIR!


16th Jul 2009, 17:16
Nursing Home attendent: Jim what are you doing?
Gordon: Im shaking hands with the batman after me and him took down an entire asylum of homicidal maniacs in one night by ourselves
Nursing Home attendent:Oh right ... now what are you doing?
Gordon: Making out with catwoman

Jason Todd
16th Jul 2009, 17:16
Attempt one:
Together: I'm starting with the man in the mirrroooorrrr!!!!

Attempt 2:
Batman: It's been done...thanks to Joker you don't have to worry about your daughter swinging around as Batgirl anymore.

Gordon: Good...and I'll look the other way on those under age boys you keep abducting.

Attempt 3:
Batman: Im glad I could help Gord...has anyone ever told you that you look like Joe Chill?

Attempt 4:
Gordon: Hello Old Chum...

Batman: Hello...Adam West?

16th Jul 2009, 17:18
Gordon: Im not letting go till you tell me who you are under that mask.

16th Jul 2009, 17:18
although this may seem cool, they perform the batdance right after and shatter the moment

16th Jul 2009, 17:19
Gordon: While we're holding hands, wanna play patty cake?

Batman: What are you, dense? Are you retarded? I'm the friggin' Batman. I don't play Patty cake! But if you wanna play Duck Duck Goose, I wouldn't mind...

Gordon: Duck Duck Goose? You mean that little kids game?

Batman: No! It's a manlier version... I made it.

Gordon: Uh-huh... don't you have someone to fight? Joker is still loose.

Batman: *under his breath* Man, I can never do nothing 'round here. -.-

Why So Serious ?
16th Jul 2009, 17:19
Gordon: So Joker killed Jason Todd you say?
Batman: Yes
Gordon: What did he get?
Batman: Nothing but a stupid T-shirt.

16th Jul 2009, 17:20
Batman: Did you know the Joker is a ninja?

Gordon: Yea thats what Ive heard.

Batman The Trailer Hunter
16th Jul 2009, 17:21
Batman seems to have a small facination with shiney gold watches...

Batman: "Long wait for the demo?"
Gordan: "Yeah its been a Hell of a wait, i think its time we take matters into our own hands!:
Batman: "As soon as you let go of mine!"

16th Jul 2009, 17:22
Batman: Your pretty strong for a senor citizen
Gordon: and youre pretty straight for a guy in tights
Batman: o did i tell you i adopted an orphaned boy and am training him to fight crime in a pair of green speedos
Gordon: you can let go of my hand now

16th Jul 2009, 17:23
Gordon- What took you so long?

Batman- I was getting laid.

Gordon- Nice!

High fives

Batman thinking to himself- Only if he knew it was Barbra, Haha.

16th Jul 2009, 17:23
Gordon: Hehe, from this angle, you sorta look like Chuck Norris.

Batman: *Sigh* I gotta go, Jim.

Gordon: Not until you tell me how good I look.

Batman: What?

Gordon: Yeah, you've been Gotham's watchful protector for over a year now, and you still haven't told me, "Nice haircut, Jim." "I like your shoes, Jim." "Who gave you that wax, Jim? It looks great."

Batman: You wax? Lol...

16th Jul 2009, 17:23
The angriest looking friendly handshake ever witnessed!

16th Jul 2009, 17:25
Gordon: You know, we really should have these meetings somewhere else.

Batman: Seriously. Who the hell chose to have a meeting at Arkham anyways?

Joker's Jolly Jester
16th Jul 2009, 17:27
Attempt One: Gordon: well Batman did you bring you PJ's and your sleeping bag? and remember if you need me to come back and bring you home i am just a phone call away

Batman: Thanks Jim, this is going to be so much Fun! Pillow fights and truth or dare!

16th Jul 2009, 17:28
Batman: Did you grow that moustache yourself??

Joker's Jolly Jester
16th Jul 2009, 17:28
Attempt 2: "may the Best Man Win!"

16th Jul 2009, 17:28
Gordon: are you undressing me with your eyes!
Batman: What! no ....pfft .....

16th Jul 2009, 17:29
Gordon : Good luck, I am gonna miss you around here :'(

Batman : It will be alright ..... Awwwwwww just give me a hug
(whispering) and maybe a kiss :whistle:

Batman The Trailer Hunter
16th Jul 2009, 17:30
Batman: "Remember NO PHONE CALLS!!!!!!!!!"

16th Jul 2009, 17:30
Batman: So Gordon, Where's Harley?

16th Jul 2009, 17:31
Gordon: Batman how many drugs did you take?
Batman: Back off man. I need then if i have to get Joker i must think like Joker, act like Joker, move like Joker and only then i can catch him. Do you understand?
Gordon: Dah?!?!...

16th Jul 2009, 17:31
Caption: Man dressed like a Bat shaking hands with a Senile old man with muscles the size of Bane's.

What is this world coming to?

16th Jul 2009, 17:31
Gordon: This super glue on the glove trick really isn't funny!

16th Jul 2009, 17:32
Batman: Wow dude. You really should have gone to specsavers....

16th Jul 2009, 17:32

Gordon: Nice to meet you Batman.

Batman: Same here.

Gordon: .... Why do you look so tensed?

Batman: Well ... I have this wedgie and these tights aren't really helping!

16th Jul 2009, 17:34
Gordon: I'm your #1 fan!! Can i have your autograph??

16th Jul 2009, 17:35
Batman: Good to see you, Jim. Where's The Joker?

Gordon: I don't know, I thought you knew.

Batman: Well, what the hell, Jim? I told you to stay with him until I got out of the washroom!

Gordon: You took too long, I just went for a cup of coffee... Geeze.

Batman: LOOK AT ME. LOOK AT THIS DAMN SUIT. Does it look like it's easy to take off?

Gordon: Okay, okay. Calm down.

16th Jul 2009, 17:35
Editor for Adam West Batman game: What sound does an old guy and a fearless vigilante shaking hands make?

Mr. West: I dont know ... Ker-sploosh?

Joker's Jolly Jester
16th Jul 2009, 17:35
Gordon So You ah got rid of the batnipples eh

Batman yeah it was to distracting to robin... ( and Barbara)

16th Jul 2009, 17:36
Gordon to self: I wonder if Batman is seeing anyone?
Batman to self: Why is Gordon staring into my eyes like that?
Gordon: I like a man with a good grip
Batman: Uhhhh, how about them Red Sox?

16th Jul 2009, 17:36
We shall meet up in US on 25th August & 28th in Europe.

16th Jul 2009, 17:37
Batman: Good to see you, Jim.

Gordon: Lol, you smell like tacos...

16th Jul 2009, 17:38
Gordon: Ahh! Hello! pleased to see you friend! Looking great! The Unreal engine really works wonders on nipples hey ;)

16th Jul 2009, 17:39
Gordon: Hey, how's life treating you?

Batman: Well, Robin just found his first armpit hair, and Batgirl beat my high score on virtual training.

Gordon: Say, that Batgirl looks pretty hot. Is she seeing anyone? Mind telling her to give me a call.

Batman: *Thinking to self* Ewww.

Turn and Face the Strange
16th Jul 2009, 17:39
Gordon: Paul Dini is a spineless wimp! He'd NEVER kill me off!
Batman: Goodbye, Gordon.
Gordon: Hey, did you see that huge crocodile thing back there? What the hell is that?
Batman: It's life, Jim, but not as we know it.*
"It's not safe to go alone. Take this!" *
Gordon: What time is--
Gordon: ...
[uncomfortable silence]
Gordon: Would you like a donut?
Batman: No.

* = Sorry for editing, but I HAD to include those.

16th Jul 2009, 17:40
Gordon: Yes, I know your staring. And I know what your thinking, my clothes are indeed painted on.

16th Jul 2009, 17:40
Gordon: Batman, I...thought...you...were wearing the nipple suit tonight.

16th Jul 2009, 17:41
Gordon: Go Team Bats!

16th Jul 2009, 17:41
Batman soon regreted not bringing his old man repellent spray

16th Jul 2009, 17:46
Is the competition still going?

16th Jul 2009, 17:46
Gordon: I like-a the moon-a, and the trees-a, and the stars-a --

Batman: Jim, how many meds did you take?

Gordon: I like-a your hands-a, and your cheeks-a, so soooft.

Batman: 0_o

16th Jul 2009, 17:48
Gordon: I just thought of something... if you're Batman, is Man-Bat your father? LOL.

Batman: You think that's funny?

Gordon: Lol, yes.

Batman: Batgirl is your daughter and I hit it. Yes, I hit that.

Gordon: I don't like you anymore.

16th Jul 2009, 17:49
Batman: What cream did you use on your hands Gordon?

16th Jul 2009, 17:51
Batman: Ever heard of a Dutch rudder?

If you Zack and Miri you will understand the joke.

Batman The Trailer Hunter
16th Jul 2009, 17:51
Gordan: "What took you so long, Batman?"
Batman: "Rush hour traffic, plus all the lights were against me. And you wouldn't want me to speed, would you?"
Gordan: "Your good driving habits almost cost the Mayors life!"
Batman: "Rules are rules, Gordan. But you do have a point."

Gordon: "Why Batman, are you blushing?"

Gordon: "Barbara had to go back to the library, but she told me to keep an eye on the girl behind the counter."
Batman: "You mean the one talking to her hot dog?"

Gordon: "Well, Batman, you've done it again. May I shake your glove?"

16th Jul 2009, 17:51
Gordon congradulated Batman after he helped jim escape the confinds of his high security retirement home.

16th Jul 2009, 17:52
Gordon: This Morning.... I peed.
Batman: Good man Gordon, Good Man.

16th Jul 2009, 17:56
And then Gordon 'Jizzed In His Pants'!

16th Jul 2009, 17:56
Gordon: Im buying it for the PS3, so i can be the Joker. Which platform are you buying it for?
Batman: Not buying it, because my games usually suck.

Batman The Trailer Hunter
16th Jul 2009, 17:57
And then Gordon 'Jizzed In His Pants'!

Not clean enough

16th Jul 2009, 17:58
Batman: Bro, I gotta come up with a plan to get rid of Keir. Have you been to the BAA forums?! They're calling him the new Batman!

Gordon: Well, he does look better than you...

Batman: :*(

16th Jul 2009, 17:59
Batman- Gordon just calm down. Grab my hand and show me where the bad man touched you.

16th Jul 2009, 18:00
Batman: Gordon, Don't even try going to grab my Bat-Package

16th Jul 2009, 18:01
Gordon: (in his mind) Why is he shaking my hand so hard. FREAK!

16th Jul 2009, 18:01
Although batman may seem dignified in this pic, he would go on to break his own rule of killing after an intern walked in front of the shot.

16th Jul 2009, 18:01
Not clean enough

Its a song :/

Batman The Trailer Hunter
16th Jul 2009, 18:02
Its a song :/

I know, i heard tons of times

16th Jul 2009, 18:04
"It's been ten minutes, Jim. You can let go now."
"No. I'm sick of the way you always disappear without saying goodbye when I look the other way"

16th Jul 2009, 18:05
Gordon: Batman! Looking great! Nice 6 pack edios programmed you there ;)

Bats: Meh, I try to keep in shape :) Looking well yourself there Gordon

Gordon: Thanks Bruce, your a true gent ;) Now all we need is for someone to render us some legs and we'll be set

16th Jul 2009, 18:05
Batman slips gordon his cough* cough*"Blood Pressure" pills street style

16th Jul 2009, 18:06
I know, i heard tons of times

Why so serious then?

16th Jul 2009, 18:08
Batman: so you want my autograph?
Gordon: nah im more of a superman fan

16th Jul 2009, 18:09
Gordon: hey batman...giggle...Why so serious

16th Jul 2009, 18:09
Batman: Give me your Gun
Gordon: Why ?
Batman: Your gaurd is gonna let the Joker Escape
- - - - - -
Gordon: Hey Bruce
Batman: Gor.....What did you Say ?
- - - - - -
Gordon: Whats Wrong Batman ?
Batman : I Only Have a Xbox 360

16th Jul 2009, 18:12
Gordon- Have you found him yet?

Batman- No, but I will find Joel Schumacher and bring him to justice!

16th Jul 2009, 18:13

Batman: It's ok Jim, we'll take it slow. I'll guide your hand.

(I feel so unclean after writing that one.... but it had to be done.)

16th Jul 2009, 18:14
Gordon: You know.....The developers did a wonderful job of bringing out the colour of you eyes...batman;)

Bats:....(thinking).......I havent felt this awkward since The Riddler-Marmalade incident...*shivvers

16th Jul 2009, 18:14
Batman: Hey have you heard the one about the police comishner who survived a whole night trapped in an asylum for the criminally insane
Gordon: no i havent
Batman: and neither has anyone else hahaha

16th Jul 2009, 18:15
Gordon: I'd appreciate it if you didn't move my hand any closer to your crotch.

16th Jul 2009, 18:15
Arkham Asylum: Where men do masculine handshakes!

16th Jul 2009, 18:17
Gordon: nice to see you again batman

Batman: good lord is your arm made of jello that is the worst handshake for someone of your importance

Gordon: better than having my hand in the jaws of life and my hand being broken can you let go NOW!!!!

16th Jul 2009, 18:17
Batman: so weve got approx 16 hrs of gameplay to work through
Gordon: ill get the coffee

16th Jul 2009, 18:20
Batman : What's the matter, Gotham P.D. has you pushing to many pencils?

Batman The Trailer Hunter
16th Jul 2009, 18:20
Batman: "How can I help?"
Gordan: "By standing directly under that grating and concentrating on the Indian Fakir command, Rassi Seedha Rucko. Hindi for 'Rope stay straight'."

Batman: "To the spa!"

Batman: "Robin and I were just putting a flower decal on the Batmobile."

Gordan: "You can't get the full value from a mineral spa fully dressed."
Batman: "My boots, leotards, gauntlets, cape, cowls and even my utility belt is more permeable than you might think. Shall we start?"

Gordan (about Harley Quin who is working for Joker): "Is it possible, Batman?"
Batman: "It's an old story I'm afraid, as old as Eve and the Apple. That snake, the Joker, must have promised her some babies and led her astray."

Batman: "Just what are you doing, and why are you doing it to me?"

16th Jul 2009, 18:20
Batman wondered how Gordon had managed to break all his fingers in a single grip.

16th Jul 2009, 18:21
Gordon: So, Batman, when is Superman coming?
Batman: Ah, actually I decided I'll try to get all the inmates back myself.
Gordon: What? You can't do that! You're just some guy?
Batman: I'm Batman.
Gordon: But he has super strength! And laser vision and he can fly! You don't have anything! You suck!
Batman: *sigh* You and me man.. we're done professionally.

16th Jul 2009, 18:22
Batman: You actually missed my hand...
Gordon: So I'm grabbing your...?

Let go, Gordon.

16th Jul 2009, 18:23
Gordon: What!?!?!?! You have "Free-flow" in the game!? YOU ARE INDEED A DIRTY MAN BATS!...Whats that? INVISIBLE PREDATOR???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS IT YOUR NICKED!

Joker's Jolly Jester
16th Jul 2009, 18:26
Gordon "Cuff Him Boys"

16th Jul 2009, 18:29

16th Jul 2009, 18:31
Gordon: ill come pick you up in the morning
Batman: pinky swear?
Gordon: Pinky Swear!

16th Jul 2009, 18:35
Batman: Gordon, you missed my hand ...

Gordon: Oh god sorry should i let go?

Batman: Just wait a minute...


Batman: aah you can let go now, thanks

16th Jul 2009, 18:35
Gordon *mouth clenched*: Dont look at the camera Batman. It's a caption contest.
Batman *mouth clenched*: Ok gordon, quick pose!
*shake hands*

16th Jul 2009, 18:37

Gordon: OK, so just so we're clear: You're going to handle Joker's henchmen, those weird mutated guys, Ivy, Bane, Croc, Harley, and the Joker while I will get captured, shrink behind you in tense situations, and take credit when this whole evening is over, deal?

Batman: I might be the world's greatest detective, but you've gotta be the world's best negotiator. How does it end up like this every time?

16th Jul 2009, 18:38
Batman: Looking at you makes me feel young.
Gordon: Looking at you makes me feel old.

16th Jul 2009, 18:40
Gordon: "What?!? No bat nipples!! Take him in boys! Batman:WAIT!!! I'm the Godamn batman!!!

16th Jul 2009, 18:42
Batman cuts a deal with Jack Thompson. He'll allow the violence if Batman gives him Catwoman's number.

16th Jul 2009, 18:44
Gordon: I never said, "Thank you."
Batman: Eh, a hearty handshake will do.

16th Jul 2009, 18:45
Gordon:I have a Joke, Knock Knock.
Batman: Come in
Gordon : Where are your Nipples ?
Batman: Where is your Nice Dark Hair ?
Gordon: You Belong Here
Batman: What ?
Gordon: Nice Grip
Batman: Did you Hear about Keir Making people Post captions about us and Whoever wins gets this awsome prize
Gordon : no....

16th Jul 2009, 18:45
Batman: Do you want to be my new sidekick.
Gordon: I will shake on it if you give me a costume.
Batman: Deal.

16th Jul 2009, 18:50
Gordon: Welcome to The Madhouse Batman, Joker is gonna Set a Trap and your gonna Spring it Glouriously!
Batman: Thank you

16th Jul 2009, 18:50
Gordon: Unlucky Batman, Potter broke your midnight record.

16th Jul 2009, 18:55


Batman : ........


Gordon : Your eyes.....they're beautiful
Batman: *blushing* :flowers:


10 years later...http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/044UgSJ1la2AO/610x.jpg

16th Jul 2009, 18:55
Gordon: well its been fun but i guess we should go
Batman: well... we still have like 250 riddles to solve!
Gordon: good idea lets get cracken!

16th Jul 2009, 18:58
Batman: where'd you get that gold watch jim ... YOU SOLD OUT!
Batman: I CAN EXPLAIN....

Matches Malone
16th Jul 2009, 19:15

Gordon: Your hands are softer than I expected.

Batman: Its my new line of Bat Lotion, made from various minerals and Bat Guano. Richard loves it. Here take some home to Barbara.

16th Jul 2009, 19:20
Batman : So its agreed, no more wedgies.

16th Jul 2009, 19:25

Batman: Return the Batmobile with a full tank of gas this time.
- - - - -
Gordon: I've got a headache from all the Joker's obnoxious chattering.
Batman: Massaging between your thumb and index finger like this should help.
- - - - -
Batman: That isn't the secret Batshake! Where is the REAL Gordon!
- - - - -
Batman: Have you ever thought about switching to contacts?
- - - - -
Gordon: Welcome to Arkham Asylum Batman. If you weren't Gotham's Dark Knight, people would say you belong here.
- - - - -
Gordon: I just wanted to take a look at your Batarangs.
Batman: They're not toys.
- - - - -
Gordon: If you do a good job tonight, we'll see if we can't add some DLC.
- - - - -
Gordon: Keep it clean, and remember, no lethal force.
- - - - -
Gordon: 20 bucks says you can't apprehend the Joker again tonight.
Batman: You're on!
- - - - -

16th Jul 2009, 19:29
-working with animals since 1973

16th Jul 2009, 19:29
Gordon: *Thinking to self* Look at this guy... he thinks he's so tough with his six pack abs and bowling ball biceps. I bet he's ugly without that mask.

Batman: *Thinking to self* Look at this guy... he thinks he's so tough with his Clint Eastwood shirt and solid gold watch. I bet he's a lonely old man.

Gordon: Alright, Batman. See ya' later.

Batman: Yeah, I gotta go.

16th Jul 2009, 19:34
Jet black combat gauntles - $150
Jet Black kevlar cape-$500
A congradalatory handshake for putting down a whole
asylum of in mates in one night by yourself- Priceless

16th Jul 2009, 19:34
Gordon: We've been doing this for over 70 years and you still don't look a day over 30...
Batman: Do you think you could keep him for at least the night this time? I need a bat-nap.
**Joker escapes**
Batman: Dammit...

Silent Knight
16th Jul 2009, 19:34
Gordon: Your hand wasn't what I was aiming for...

16th Jul 2009, 19:35
Gordon: Nice outfit your wearing today my good old bat friend.

Batman: Errrrrrrrrrrrrr, I was just... about to say... the same thing about yours...

- - - - - - - - - -

Gordon: Pull my finger.

Batman: Huh?

Gordon: I said pull my finger.

Batman: Okay.


Batman: Urghhhhh what is that?

Gordon: Thanks my good chum, that curry was keeping me up all night.

- - - - - - - - - -

Batman: This feels familiar...

16th Jul 2009, 19:36
gordon: aren't you supposed to be dead?
batman: I am
gordon: WHAT?
gourd 1: he still cant take the fact can he?
gourd 2: nope

16th Jul 2009, 19:36
Hey gordon whats your favorate type of tabacco, it might be important later

16th Jul 2009, 19:38
Nice to meet you, again

16th Jul 2009, 19:38
News photographer: HEY BATS, COMMISH, how about a photo for the Gotham Gazette?

Batman- (Ugh, he smells like Alfred and old people)
Gordon-(Well, there goes the neighborhood!)

16th Jul 2009, 19:42
Batman : There's something behind me isn't there?


Gordan: What's the matter Bats?

Batman: Smells like Batman Forever down here!

16th Jul 2009, 19:49
Why wont you ever smile?

harley quinn 1990
16th Jul 2009, 19:56
Gordan: "When are you gonna let me try that mask on?"
Batman: "When are you gonna do something besides flip a light switch, and have me do all your dirty work?"
Gordan: "Ouch... rough night huh?"
Batman: "Yep, you couldn't imagine..."

16th Jul 2009, 20:01
Gordon: Ouch! Is that a brand on your hand?!
Batman: -Looks around-
Gordon: -Checks his hand- It reads "You've just shaken hands with the God Damn Batman"

16th Jul 2009, 20:10
Gordon: Let's have a staring contest.
Batman: You're on.

16th Jul 2009, 20:14
Batman: Did anyone ever tell you 'you have the most amazing eyes.'
Gordon: Okaaay.

16th Jul 2009, 20:16
Batman:"Hello Jim, my friend.What are your plans tonight?" Gordon:"I'm planning a drinking game to see who can drink the most alcoholic beverages until the sun rises." Batman:"I'm in Jim.......but I'm going to have one hell of a hang over when we're done:nut:."

16th Jul 2009, 20:16
Gordon: Is that a batarang or are you just happy to see me?

16th Jul 2009, 20:17
Gordon: If someone told me 20 years ago that I will be shaking hands with a man dress up as a bat I would of put them in this Asylum.
Batman: I don’t blame you for thinking that way.

16th Jul 2009, 20:33
Batman: I hope you washed your hands.
Gordon: Why?
Batman: Don't want to get swine flu.

16th Jul 2009, 20:36

Batman - "Somewhere next to the window, Garçon? Here's a little something for the effort."

Gordon - "Of course! Right this way..."

16th Jul 2009, 20:43
(1) gordon &batman : 1 2 3 4 i declare a thumb war

(2) batman: you know the jokers that hand buzzer dont work on rubber gloves

(3) gordon : may i have this dance

(4) batman :you count to 10 and i go hide

(5) gordon :thanks for coming superman was busy

(6) so its decided get rid of harry potter first

16th Jul 2009, 20:45

Gordon: Put 'er there Batman! Say, you call that a handshake?
Batman: Okay Commish, here you go..
Gordon: Any time you wanna start Dark Knight.
Batman: You sure? Been taking your calcium?
Gordon: Guy puts on a cape and cowl and suddenly he thinks he's a tough guy!
Batman: Just keep talkin' old man.
Gordon: Call me old man one more time and the Joker'll be the least of your worries tonight boy.
Batman: Hhhrrrng..
Gordon: Had enough yet?
Batman: I can go all day, punk.
Gordon: That's what Robin tells me...
Batman: All right, play time's over!
Gordon: Oww oww! OK! Leggo!
Batman: Say it...
Gordon: I'm Batgirl. I'm Batgirl! Now let go!
Batman: Batgirl lets go first.
Gordon: Oh it's on.
Batman: Try me.

16th Jul 2009, 20:47
batman yes gordon i want to shack your hand for doing the best job ever to keep us safe and verybody in gothom city safe and to say thank you for putting all the villans were they belong in there cell and dealing with joker.

batman ok shack my hand.

16th Jul 2009, 20:57
OK I have three:

Army of Two:

Batman: Ready to whoop some bad guy ass, Gordon?
Gordon: Let's do it Tys...I mean, Bats!

Grand Theft Batman:

Batman: Okay, here's the drugs. (hands it over in exchange for cash)
Batman thinking: " Luckily Gordon doesn't know I rigged it with Bat explosive gel! Mwhaha!

And my favourite line:

Batman: OK, Gordon, to defeat the Joker, we must join hands and use this magical ring to ignite in the form of....a dragon!!!!

Gordon thinking: " Man, Joker's right: this guy really does belong in the asylum!"

What do you think Keir?

Riddling Artist
16th Jul 2009, 20:58
heres my attempt. ill probably try again.
everybody gets one and only one

Riddling Artist
16th Jul 2009, 21:02
GORDON: this isnt the handshake i need. its the handshake i deserve. it is a firm, strong handshake. but for now we'll avoid it. because it can wait. because it is THE DARK KNIGHTS SECRET HANDSHAKE

16th Jul 2009, 21:03

Gordon: I hope you're nocturnal, because it's going to be a long night.
- - - - -
Gordon: Congratulations, on a superb job tonight.
Batman: Save the speech Gordon, you were captured by a girl.
- - - - -
Gordon: Your hands are cold.
Batman: I had a Slurpee on the ride over.
- - - - -
Batman: My condolences Commissioner. I know Mr. Jackson sang at your wedding.
- - - - -
Batman: What's the situation?
Gordon: My sources at Rocksteady tell me Harley Quinn, Killer Croc, Bane, Zsasz and Posion Ivy have joined forces with the Joker.
- - - - -
Gordon: Good evening Batman.
Batman: Commissioner.
Gordon: Would you like a doughnut?
- - - - -
Batman: Why so serious?
Gordon: My Xbox 360 has the Red Ring of Death.
- - - - -
Gordon: Ya know, you sound just like my friend Kevin Conroy.
Batman: Never heard of him.
- - - - -
Batman: Promise me that you won't take the CE Batarang off it's stand.
Gordon: Of course not. I'll have somebody else do it.

Riddling Artist
16th Jul 2009, 21:04
BATMAN: its not who i am that defines me. its how strong of a handshake i give that does.
GORDON: Bruce?
BATMAN: !!!!! (metal gear solid exclamation mark pops up above his head)

16th Jul 2009, 21:17
Wonder Twin powers activate!!!!!!!!
Form of Batman!
Form of a Senile Old man with bones made of...uh,hang on a sec...Water!

Batman:Who are you,and what'd you do with Bob Hastings!

Nurse:Thank you Batman.We here at the Robert E. Arkham assisted living community appreciate the time you spend with our residents.

Batman:It's really no problem,Gordon here is actually an old friend of mine.So,what are you doing later?

Nurse:Thank you Batman.We here at the Robert E. Arkham assisted living community appreciate the time you spend with our residents.


16th Jul 2009, 21:21
everyone sing together now Hands Across America

on a side note yes i am very old

16th Jul 2009, 21:27
Gordon: It's a please to meet you Darth Vader, as you can see we need help with the psychos running around, if you could use your dark force powers to take care of them...

Batman: I'm Batman

Gordon: Could you speak louder? I left my hearing aid at home.

Batman: I'm Batman

Gordon: .....Are you sure you're not darth vader?

Batman: You senile fool! I'M BATMAN!

16th Jul 2009, 21:33
agreed! after we catch the joker we'll go see harry potter!

16th Jul 2009, 21:35
Batman: ...Are you wearing perfume?!

16th Jul 2009, 21:35
NO I'M the goddamn Batman!

16th Jul 2009, 21:38
gordon :are those nipple nuts

16th Jul 2009, 21:41
sorry i smell robin layed a egg
the batmoble lost a wheel and the joker got away

16th Jul 2009, 21:44
Batman: I Saved your Son in the Dark Knight
Gordon: WTFruit ?
Gordon: Hey, I saw Batman Forever
Batman: *Sigh*
Batman: Our Deal is done i brought you the Joker and You Clean the Batmobile
Gordon: yyyyeeeea about that......
Gordon: Where's Robin ?
Batman: He's on Time out
Batman: Give me your Watch!
Batman: Why are there So many Songs about Rainbows ?
Gordon: Not this agian!

16th Jul 2009, 21:44
Batman: You really should not have shook my hand after playing with super glue!

16th Jul 2009, 21:48
Gordon: What is on your Hand ?
Batman: Explosive Gel
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

16th Jul 2009, 21:50
Batman: I spent 20 years of my life training my body to the peak of physical perfection, and look at you! You have biceps that rival mine! Congratulations!

16th Jul 2009, 21:50
Senile Legends


Commissioner Gordon: Have we met before?

Batman: We've known each other for over 70 years. . .

Commissioner Gordon: My mind must be on the fritz again. . .

Batman: Wait a minute, how is it I'm still so young and buff after all this time?

Commissioner Gordon: Must be the nostalgia that animators have for batty men in tights.

16th Jul 2009, 22:19
batman: Jokers at it again huh? whats his plan this time?
gordon: we dont know yet, but then again we never know what joker will do next.
batman: i wll return with the joker so that he can be imprisoned again here at arkham!
gordon: thanks batman the police force really appreciates your efforts.
batman: no problem after all i am the expert at catching the criminnaly insane.

16th Jul 2009, 22:27
What are the odds?


Batman: You and me, we're done... professionally

Batman The Trailer Hunter
16th Jul 2009, 22:29
Gordan: "Are those horns on your head or are you just happy to see me?"

16th Jul 2009, 22:36
Little did Batman know that Gordon has super-strength ...

16th Jul 2009, 22:38
Gordon: Hey Batman. What do you think of my brand new Rolex?

Batman: Meh... I've got several.

16th Jul 2009, 22:50
The present day:

Batman: You probably can't believe this, but my bum feels so tight in that suit, I can hardly move it.

Gordon: I know exactly what you mean *wink* wink*. OMG I can't stop staring, not believing what you wearin'. You make feel so damn hot, feel I wanna drop down on that ground and make it work.

Batman: Ok...I'll tell you what I'll do. I feel cheap tonight, you can have me for a recession-beating price of £50. Let's shake on it! The hand job is all-inclusive.

The next day, Gotham Tribunal has reported that Batman quits his job as the caped crusader and becomes a porn star.

Batman: I decided to quit being Batman and to become a porn star.

Gordon: Oh no Gotham is doomed!

Batman: Good news is, I released 3 sex tapes you might like:

Bare-Back Batman (Ft Bane in an Arkham Asylum bondage trap)
The Cocked Crusader (Ft The Riddler and his big stick in a traditional 1900's Harley Quinn costume)
Arkham Anal Asylum Ft. various inmates (Be warned it does contains minor snuff scenes)

And I have my own signature dish: Bat on a stick

That's my entry

16th Jul 2009, 22:52
Batman: This Hanshake is an Exclusive for Ps3 only

16th Jul 2009, 23:02
Gordon: What a time to be star struck, but oh my god its batman!

16th Jul 2009, 23:05
Gordon: Are you sure I can trust you with this?
Batman: Yes...the secret about that watch not being a Rolex is safe with me...you call that a secret?

16th Jul 2009, 23:20
Gordon: so lke i was saying my handshake is much more firm then yours.
Batman: damn i forgot my old man repelent.

16th Jul 2009, 23:24
Batman: Hi Gordon

Batman: Hi Gordon I'm Batman, nice to meet you *shakes soldier-I-mean hand*

Gordon: WOW it's Batman, you're not real just like Santa Clause, Easter Bunny and Merry Poppins

Batman: I am real and so are Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny and Merry Poppins but they are all a bunch of paedophiles who dress up in silly costumes like I coincidently do.

Attempt 3:

Gordon: It was fashion week and you're still wearing Lycra, you know it's out

Batman: Barbara told me about PVC, Alfred's making one for me. The suit will have a little finger hole where if I get wind, it can escape through there and if anything wants to go...in.

16th Jul 2009, 23:28
-the reason this picture only shows above the belt

16th Jul 2009, 23:40
Gordon: It's not enough he captures Joker, but now he's gotta come all the way down here and rub it in our faces. What a jerk. (Thinks) Congratulations, Batman!

Batman: Uh.... Jim? I don't think you meant to say that out loud.

Gordon: Dammit! Well I am old.

Batman: You're not young.

lobo 420
16th Jul 2009, 23:52
Here Jim, take this demo and lock it up where no one can find it.

16th Jul 2009, 23:53
Batman after using the Rocksteady disco toilet:

Gordon: So... how was it?
Batman: It was alright, though it... smelled like something awfull.
Gordon: Ya, it was probably that Will Smith guy...
Batman: Hmmm.....
Gordon: ...
Batman: Well, I guess I should go take care of all that "Arkham" business. (uses air quotes with his fingers)
Gordon: Oh, right! (shakes hand) Good luck.

17th Jul 2009, 00:05
Gordon: Thanks Batman....thanks so mu....

Batman: ....yeah whatever see you in a week and you better have cash....crime fighting aint cheap.....

17th Jul 2009, 00:18
Batman: I'm sorry to bring you the bad news, Jim... Barbara has no feeling below the waist. She's paralyzed for life.

Gordon: I know.

Batman: Oh thank god.

17th Jul 2009, 00:21

Attempt one:

Gordon: Oh, com'on! All these years, I just wanna see!
Batman: No, Jim...
Gordon: Com'on! It's you ol' buddy, Gordon!
Batman: My mask never comes off. Ever...
Gordon: Just one little peek?
Batman: Gordon, you know how much I hate guns, but if you don't stop this, I will take yours and shoot you... In the face... Got me?
Gordon: Wait, did you... Was that a threat?!
Batman: ... A very serious one, Jim.

Attempt two:

Gordon: Oh good, you're here!
Batman: What's the situation?
Gordon: Croc stopped up the toilet, again...
Batman: (sigh) I'll get the bat-plunger...

Attempt three:

Gotham Big and Tall

We have suits for everyman. You're gonna like the way you look. Guaranteed.

Attempt four:

Gordon: Great! You're here! Now let's get started! I've got the Commish Suit and Commish-Wing on the roof. Meet you in five and we'll go sock it to 'em! Right, partner?!
Batman: .... Right, Jim... Right...

Attempt five:

Batman Enters Arkham Asylum...

Gordon: Welcome to my humble home again, Batman!
Batman: Oh, Jim... Where did it all go wrong?
Gordon: Er... Jeopardy's on! It's meatloaf night!
Batman: ... Yeah...

Attempt six:

Gordon: I will break you, Batman!
Batman: I've been broken before...
Gordon: ... Huh?

Attempt seven:

Gordon: Thank God you're here, Batman.
Batman: I came as soon as I heard. So, all of them?
Gordon: Every last one's escaped.
Batman: (sigh) You know I'm missing sex for this.
Gordon: ...Err... Yes, well... I am sure Gotham appreciates your ... sacrifice... o.O

Attempt eight:

Batman: Never rub another man's rhubarb.
Gordon: ... I, uh... What?!

Attempt nine:

Gordon: Alright, you win. He escaped after just 59.8 seconds. It's a new Arkham record.
Batman: I told you... Joker's got this down to an art. Bet you I stop him before he kills a hundred this time.
Gordon: You're on!

Attempt ten:

Batman: We have to stop meeting like this.
Gordon: I said drinks at the Pink Flamingo, but no... You just gotta be Mr. Stuffed Shirt!

Attempt eleven:

Man-Shakes, just the right level of Man-Comfort
For those not comfortable with a Man-Hug, but more comfortable than a Man-Nod

(Even men in tights find Man-Shakes acceptable! Hurry, and try yours out today!)

Larcenous Laugh
17th Jul 2009, 00:44
"Jim... are you wearing foundation?"

17th Jul 2009, 01:09
Batman:"Lets play rock, paper, scissors to see who fights The Joker." Gordon:"Okay." Batman:"Have you ever played Jim?" Gordon:"Yes.I was my schools champion they called me "Master"." Batman:"Interesting.Well lets begin." a few seconds later...... Gordon:"My scissor beats your paper Batman, so I'll be facing him." Batman:"Thank God." Gordon then takes out a specially made taser that will incapacitate The Joker. Batman:"What's that Jim?" Gordon:"A very special modified taser." Joker:"No!!!! Don't shoot me!!!" Joker gets hit by it. Gordon:"Now it's your turn......Batman." He incapacitates Batman, walks over to "The Joker", and takes his face off revealing that he is Gordon in disguise and then "Gordon" takes his face off, revealing that he is The Joker in disguise. Batman:"Impossible!!!!!" Joker:"I have the last laugh Batman!!!! Now how's that for a surprise? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!"

17th Jul 2009, 01:40
Batman: "I know you're trying to be discreet, Jim, but for the last time, I don't fight crime for tips. You can take back your $8."

P.S. Thanks for the contest, Keir!

17th Jul 2009, 01:41
Look into my eyes and tell me the joker wont escape this time

17th Jul 2009, 01:42
Keir, when is the contest over?

*That wasn't a caption*

17th Jul 2009, 01:47

Batman - "Hey Jim, I have this 'Grey Away Shampoo' in my utility belt you might like. I always keep a sample on hand, i get 5% commission, batarangs arent cheap, you know."

Jim - *Shaking Bats Hand* "You have yourself a deal, I'll take 5 bottles. Can I get Batgirls number?"

Batman - "Umm..."

17th Jul 2009, 01:55
-because police commissioners aren't gonna shake their own hand

17th Jul 2009, 01:57
Keir, when is the contest over?

It's in his post:

I'll pick the caption I like best and this will be closed at 4pm GMT on MONDAY the 20th of July. You can have as many attempts as you like though and the funnier the better (but keep it clean plz)!

17th Jul 2009, 01:58
It's in his post:

Oh, okay. Thanks. But I think it should be closed sooner than that. By monday, this thread will hit 500 posts.

Batman The Trailer Hunter
17th Jul 2009, 02:20
Yeah end it Saturday, otherwise a bunch of bad crappy comments will be made that i wont be apart of!

17th Jul 2009, 02:26
Batman: "Nice watch."
Gordon: "Nice belt."
Batman: "Nice suit."
Gordon: "Nice costume."
Batman: "Nice glasses."
Gordon: "Nice mask."
Batman: "Nice gun."
Gordon: "Nice Armour."
Batman: "Nice handshake."
Gordon: "I like your eye's."
Batman: "Uh....I-ah better check that the guards have Joker under control."
Gordon: "Hurry back. I'll be here, waiting."

17th Jul 2009, 02:26
What, you cant pick one out of 1000 posts? It should end tomorrow. Props if he reads every post.

EDIT: Nevermind woody wins.

Batman: "Nice watch."
Gordon: "Nice belt."
Batman: "Nice suit."
Gordon: "Nice costume."
Batman: "Nice glasses."
Gordan: "Nice mask."
Batman: "Nice gun."
Gordan: "Nice Armour."
Batman: "Nice handshake."
Gordon: "I like your eye's."
Batman: "Uh....I-ah better check that the guards have Joker under control."
Gordan: "Hurry back. I'll be here, waiting."

Batman The Trailer Hunter
17th Jul 2009, 02:28
Batman has a bigger gun...the ladies know what im talking about...

17th Jul 2009, 02:29
Batman: is that lotion you got on. Mmm coconut rasberry my favorite.

Why So Serious ?
17th Jul 2009, 02:30
Gordon: Thanks for the birthday card Batman
Batman: What birthday card?
Gordon: This one right here.
Batman: Who the devil does she think she is?
Gordon: Who?
Batman: Your daughter, I mean seriously does she think this is funny? Putting my name on the birthday card and dotting the i with bat's on top?
Gordon: So you didn't wight this car... wait what are you doing with Barbra?
Batman: Nothing... go back to work...

17th Jul 2009, 02:31
Jim- "Umm... are you wearing eye shadow and are your Nipples hard....!?"
Batman- "Its not eye shadow...Its War paint... and it feels like a window is open"
Jim- "...."

17th Jul 2009, 02:41
arent these suppose to be captions, not short stories


17th Jul 2009, 02:45
Batman Arkham Asylum... Where firm handshakes happen.

17th Jul 2009, 02:56
Gordon: Hey My Hand Buzzer Didn't Work
Batman = >:-(

Batman The Trailer Hunter
17th Jul 2009, 03:02
Batman Arkham Asylum... Where firm handshakes happen.

Already posted

17th Jul 2009, 03:39
real men lock eyes when clasping hands

17th Jul 2009, 03:45

Already posted

Awww really? Lame, I didn't steal, I just thought of it, sorry. That sucks, I really liked that one.

17th Jul 2009, 03:47
Batman: Welcome to the video game world Gordon.
Gordon: Yea... Thanks. The trees here suck.

17th Jul 2009, 03:49
Gordon: Is that a Batarang in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
Batman ...................................

17th Jul 2009, 03:50
Gordon: BATMAN! God damn it I said I wanted Superman!

17th Jul 2009, 03:53
Gordon: Hick, Welcome to the mad house batman
Batman: Jim are you drunk?
Gordon: A little,...wheres that double face guy... he owns me money!
Batman: ........
Gordon: I love you :D

17th Jul 2009, 03:55
Robin was totally unaware that Batman had been sneaking out a night to see Commisioner Gordon

17th Jul 2009, 04:07
Gordon: Oh Batman, I'm glad your here! I'm wearing my batman underwear right now. Is that the one you usually wear?
Batman: Unfortunately there was a design flaw in the suit, there is no room for underwear.

the scarecrow
17th Jul 2009, 04:41
gordon: im not gonna touch that dirty glove it smells and who knows where its been

batman: (says under breathe) jerk

gordon: wait where has that dirty glove been wait i dont want to know

batman: (says under breathe) kicking bad guys butt

Riddling Artist
17th Jul 2009, 04:53

you have learned fist pound

17th Jul 2009, 05:08
Caption 1:
Thank god you Brought the Shark Repellent...We really need it now!?

Caption 2:

Bat suit: $500,000.00
Grappling Gun: $500.00
Batarang: $50.00

The most perfect moment with Commissioner Jim Gordon: PRICELESS!!!

Riddling Artist
17th Jul 2009, 05:14
are we allowed to edit our Caption?

Riddling Artist
17th Jul 2009, 05:16

BATS used handshake
The greeting was supereffective

The Grimm Joker
17th Jul 2009, 05:42

attempt 1:
Gordon: is that Guano?
Batman:sorry i ran out of bat-wipes

attempt 2:
Gordon:hey batman my reproductive organs are in my hands...ugh...oh yea
Batman: oh thats what that is

attempt 3:
Batman: I bet the bat cave something goes wrong!
Gordon: I have been in your batcave no thanks

attempt 4:
A man in a rubber bat suit and a old man shaking hands in a nut house.....and no one thinks something strange is going on

Riddling Artist
17th Jul 2009, 06:39

this is what keir see when 2 guys handshake in front of him due to long hours of work.

Riddling Artist
17th Jul 2009, 06:45

formally known as KEIR and CHIP

Riddling Artist
17th Jul 2009, 06:48

what people dont know is that batmans giving a "goodbye handshake" to gordon after finding out the asylum has been taken over.

17th Jul 2009, 06:49
Batman: Goodbye Gordon, i wont have time to save you from Harley.

17th Jul 2009, 06:59
(While shaking hands)

Batman: Nice watch. *snikers*
Gordon: Nice parents.

17th Jul 2009, 07:12
attempt 1. Gordan "Hey did you know we're both played by brits in the last film."

attempt 2. Gordan " This revoling door of a mental heath system is how i paid by summer home off."

attempt 3. Batman " I'll out live that morrison pillak, you read final crisis why are they still paying him."

4. Gordan " Thanks for your help with the joker old friend"
Batman "dude this like the zillenth time I've cought him, i want my time and parking comped form now on"

5. Gordan " Congratulations 1 billion overall ticket sales, your choice of Mystery door 1 or 2"

6. Gordan " We cought him again, how long till escapes this time?
Batman " a week or so, depends whats on tv.

7 Gordan "Your back old friend, how was the stone age"
batman " grant morrisan better learn how to fight real quick.

8. batman "So you finnally quit smoking, those things will kill you"
Gordan " So you've been telling for the last 20 years"

9. Batman "Winners don't use drugs"
Gordan "coughHypocritecough"

10 Congratulations you have obtain Platinum now go back to writing Furie batman fanfiction you hopeless loser.

17th Jul 2009, 07:17
Gordon: Man, this game needs to be smash hit, i really need the money for these glasses.
Batman (in his mind): Im not bothered im a billionaire.

17th Jul 2009, 07:32
batman: shall we hold hands as we merrily skip down this hallway?
gordon: we shall:)

17th Jul 2009, 07:33
Gordon: Where'd you get that suit.. at the toilet store..?
Batman: ...

17th Jul 2009, 07:38
gordon: how do you afford all these gadgets and expensive equipment?
batman: i'm actually billionaire playboy bruce wayne
gordon: haha thats a good one, so really where do you get all this stuff?
batman: ....

17th Jul 2009, 07:48

Batmobile: $1,000,000.00
Gas to get to Arkham Asylum: $23.00
Get Jim Gordan for the night: $175.00

Batman leaving when he found out The Joker got free: PRICELESS!!!

17th Jul 2009, 08:07
in a handshake!

17th Jul 2009, 08:09
Batman and Gordon face off in the most intense staring contest man has ever seen since Chuck Norris and the Sun.

The Sun lost...

17th Jul 2009, 08:24
Utility Belt:$30,000.39
Making a dying old man feel special:Priceless
For all the little things in life,Batman uses Mastercard.Do you?

17th Jul 2009, 08:26
The graphics in Batman: Arkham Asylum are so detailed, you can even see Commissioner Gordon sweating as Batman keeps pulling him in closer and closer.

17th Jul 2009, 09:34
Batman - Not tonight Gordon...

17th Jul 2009, 09:41
Not below the belt!

17th Jul 2009, 09:56
That's not a Batarang

17th Jul 2009, 09:58
Is that a Gun? Or are you just happy to see me?

17th Jul 2009, 10:06
Even heroes need a hand

17th Jul 2009, 10:12
Good? Good!

17th Jul 2009, 10:13
Thank you come again

17th Jul 2009, 10:17
Batman: Hello Gordon.
Gordon: Hello Batman
Batman: Can I use the Disco toilet?
Gordon: Yeah sure but you might want to give it 5 minutes I was just in there.

A Dark Hunter
17th Jul 2009, 10:22
Gordon: Congratulations! You're our 1 millionth customer!
Batman: Really!?!......wait this is like the 23rd time I've been the "1 millionth customer"...
Gordon: Uh...

17th Jul 2009, 10:58
Batman: Good to see you Jim, why did you need to see me?
Gordon: Well um...I have something I have to tell you...I'm gay
Batman: Um...well is that so huh? So...you're aren't getting boner holding my hand are you?
Gordon: Well ah...I wouldn't say that.....

*batman runs away*

17th Jul 2009, 11:51
Batman: I like your hair
Gordon: I like your parents
Batman: Senile fool
Gordon: Overgrown Trick or Treater

17th Jul 2009, 11:54
Batman: So it's settled, whoever blinks first has to watch Robin take a shower.
Gordon: Wait, what?! I thought loser had to shave their head bald.
Batman: Too bad, we're already holding hands. And you won't be able to notice if I'm bald.

17th Jul 2009, 11:54
Batman: Thats its man we're done profesionally ya know.

17th Jul 2009, 11:55
Gordon: Quick I've got him, Guards! Guards! get this guy in a cell where he belongs!

A Dark Hunter
17th Jul 2009, 12:20
Batman: Why are we holding hands?
Gordon: Because it shows how friendly we are.
Batman: But I hate you...
Gordon: What!?! :eek:
Batman: You are always calling me on that Bat-light...signal...thing...don't you think I have better things to do?
Gordon: Well the truth is...I shine the Bat-Signal because I miss you all the time.
Batman: Ooooh! :o
Gordon: Hug?
Batman: Hug!
Gordon: *sniff sniff* you smell nice.
Batman: Ok I think we can stop hugging now...*starts walking away*
Gordon: *under his breath* I love you...
Batman: What? Did you say some thing?
Gordon: Oh! I said olive juice!
Batman: Olive juice?
Gordon: *under his breath* olive juice you too...

17th Jul 2009, 12:21
A handshake is just a hug for fraidy cats :p

17th Jul 2009, 12:30
Gordon:I gave you swine flu Batman.
Batman:I'm wearing gloves

17th Jul 2009, 12:42
Gordon: What, you don't have a bat-razor in that belt?

17th Jul 2009, 12:49
Batman: Really Jim, white after labor day?

17th Jul 2009, 13:24
One has a gun.
The other is the goddamn batman.

17th Jul 2009, 13:27
Staring contest!
if bats wins, he marries oracle
If he loses he marries gordan.
He wants to lose

17th Jul 2009, 13:56

Batman:This is 50 seconds.Now is the stick blue or red?
Gordon:I can't look.

Joker's Jolly Jester
17th Jul 2009, 13:56
Gordon "why so Serious?"

17th Jul 2009, 13:57
Batman: Jim, it's about time! I've been waiting for almost 7 minutes now for the story line to pick up.

Joker's Jolly Jester
17th Jul 2009, 13:58
Gordon: huh your handshake isn't as masculine as Mr. Kent's...

Joker's Jolly Jester
17th Jul 2009, 14:04
Secret handshakes are awesome as long as no ones watching