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joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 14:33
Hello, this is my first game thread... so im not sure this is fun or anything, but i`ll try.

its simple you just nead to ask a question, or a tell one of those jokes where you have to answear.

and as anyone else i am starting:

there are three animals, a giraf, an elephant and a monkey. they stand in front of a palm tree, wich one of theme will fastest pick a banana from that tree.

EDIT: from now on i set a time limit on TEN minutes so we aint getting stocked on a joke we cant answear.
and if youre gonna post "dirty" ones, do it in a SPOILER!

Lo
3rd Sep 2008, 14:43
None, seeing as palm trees don't have a banana yield :rasp:

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 14:47
Damn you knew that one.

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 14:48
I have one: How do you put a elephant inside of a refrigerator?

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 14:50
you open the door and put t in, then you close the door:D

Lo
3rd Sep 2008, 14:52
Damn you knew that one.

Never heard it in truth but it's a game we are playing on one of my forums so I was already looking for the catch ;)

I'll have to post some of them on this thread - some of the clues are really quite hard!

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 14:53
you open the door and put t in, then you close the door:D

Then how you put a giraffe inside of the refrigerator?

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 14:55
you open the door takes out the elephant, puts in the giraf and then closes the door:lol:

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 14:57
I really don't know...

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 15:00
ok then, what`s the square root of PIE?:confused:

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 15:00
you open the door takes out the elephant, puts in the giraf and then closes the door:lol:

Damn it, you know it all! :mad2: :mad2: :p

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 15:04
The pie isn't a square.

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 15:04
Damn it, you know it all! :mad2: :mad2: :p

what can i say, i am a funny man... Boy, im only 15

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 15:06
ok then, what`s the square root of PIE?:confused:

It is the square root of π? π=3,14

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 15:07
And I am only 12.Almost making 13.

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 15:08
It is the square root of π =3,14?

no Pie has no squarre root... its FOOD:lol:

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 15:08
I'm 15 too. when do you turn 13, Mr Croft?
So easy! I tought it was π 'cause I gess pie and π are pronounced by the same way in english.

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 15:12
On 23th december :D
Almost in X-Mas. :rolleyes:

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 15:13
I'm 15 too. when do you turn 13, Mr Croft?
So easy! I tought it was π 'cause I gess pie and π are pronounced by the same way in english.

it is, exept the spelling, you speel it PI, not PIE

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 15:15
On 23th december :D
Almost in X-Mas. :rolleyes:

Wow.:D You have a b-day party and a christmas eve dinner at the same time?
Cool, lots of presents!:nut: :D :rasp:

@joey junior I didn't knew it. english is not my first language.

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 15:16
On 23th december :D
Almost in X-Mas. :rolleyes:

well id better say congrats now then, cuz im going to tenerife and celebrate new year that weak, so i wont be able to get acces to the internet.
CONGRATULATIONS MR.CROFT

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 15:19
Wow.:D You have a b-day party and a christmas eve dinner at the same time?
Cool, lots of presents!:nut: :D :rasp:

No it's just a party. Lol. I do christmas eve on the next day.
Yeah lot's of presents :D :)


well id better say congrats now then, cuz im going to tenerife and celebrate new year that weak:P.
CONGRATULATIONS MR.CROFT

Thanks Joey ;)


Don't forget to say happy birthday to me in that day
:p :rasp:


Does anyone have a joke or question?

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 15:21
here`s a hard one: whats my signature???

(im not stupid, of course i removed it so you cold answear this... take THAT:rasp:)

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 15:24
OMG i knew your sig,
I just dont remember:( :confused:

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 15:26
hahaaa got ya;) .

ok i`ll give you 5 more minutes to figure it out.

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 15:26
I know it was something Lara said... "it's not a party until something gets broken", isn't it?

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 15:34
hehe, good save T-pistols

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 15:37
Finally I found the right answer!:lol:

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 15:37
I think it is : It's not a party until something gets broken.
Edit: yes i got it right, finally.

Any questions?

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 15:43
not right now, i nead to do some "duties", will be back in about 10 min.

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 15:43
Ok.
I don't have any questions sorry.

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 15:59
so i return.

ok here is one i worked on: what is H2O

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 16:00
Water!

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 16:01
Water?!

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 16:03
[/QUOTE/][=Mr Croft;818043]Water?![/QUOTE7]
You don't have chemistry classes yet, right?

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 16:05
its two things.

Hydrogen and oxygen. LOL. or a bath sandal... well i guess that wasnt so funny.
i need some food to think on.

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 16:06
Sim, já tenho.Vou para o 8º
Eu só estava a por o ponto de interrogação pq é obvio! :p (portuguese)


Yeah i do.

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 16:11
Sim, já tenho.Vou para o 8º
Eu só estava a por o ponto de interrogação pq é obvio! :p


Yeah i do.

Oh, right! Não te tinha percebido.

Go eat joey so you can bring us good jokes 'cause I don't have good ones.:lol: ;) kidding!

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 16:12
Yeah do that joey.

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 16:18
No. I'm portuguese, I live in Braga, I told you before.
I know I wrote something gramatically wrong in portuguese 'cause right now I'm used to write in english.

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 16:23
Yeah. well me too :D
Any jokes or questions?

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 16:24
I know one, but is a bit dirty. I don't know how to say it in english, only in portuguese.

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 16:26
well, say it.:whistle:

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 16:28
Tu comes o que cagas ou cagas o que comes?

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 16:30
Oh gosh!
I think the second one.

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 16:33
Então comes m****.
I told you this one is dirty, don't blame me! But is funny 'cause whatever is replied the answer is the same!

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 16:34
Yeah it's cool :D

IvanaKC
3rd Sep 2008, 16:34
you open the door takes out the elephant, puts in the giraf and then closes the door:lol:

Ok now. Lion got a baby and he must to baptise his kid. Whole Africa came to celebrate except one animal. Who wasn't on that celebration?

@joeyjunior: you didn't tell the whole joke there is the 3rd part too.

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 16:35
The monkey from The Lion King movie?
LOL, I don't know.

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 16:36
The father?

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 16:39
Ok now. Lion got a baby and he must to baptise his kid. Whole Africa came to celebrate except one animal. Who wasn't on that celebration?

@joeyjunior: you didn't tell the whole joke there is the 3rd part too.

It was me who started that joke but I don't remeber wich is the animal of the third part.

dark7angel
3rd Sep 2008, 16:46
Ok now. Lion got a baby and he must to baptise his kid. Whole Africa came to celebrate except one animal. Who wasn't on that celebration?

@joeyjunior: you didn't tell the whole joke there is the 3rd part too.

The giraf because it's inside the refrigerator:rasp:

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 16:46
She's not refering to the third animal, but to the third part of the water joke (h2o)

IvanaKC
3rd Sep 2008, 16:46
Ok dark you know this on I suppose.

There is another one, connected to this one. You must swim across the river but there live crocodiles. How can you swim across and stay alive? (pay attention on what I said "connected to this joke with lion").

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 16:47
The giraf because it's inside the refrigerator:rasp:

:lol: :lol: :lol: Yeah that's the third part!

@Ivana KC the crocodiles are in the baptism!

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 16:49
Wow, there are lot of portuguese people here.
I don't know, but maybe give the lion to the crocodiles ? :rasp:
Edit: i was kidding, i already knew the answer :p

IvanaKC
3rd Sep 2008, 16:50
:lol: :lol: :lol: Yeah that's the third part!

@Ivana KC the crocodiles are in the baptism!

Yeah, it wasn't hard right? :D

@ Mr Croft: you're late someone posted before ya

dark7angel
3rd Sep 2008, 16:50
Ok dark you know this on I suppose.

There is another one, connected to this one. You must swim across the river but there live crocodiles. How can you swim across and stay alive? (pay attention on what I said "connected to this joke with lion").

There's no problem. You can cross the river swimming because the crocodiles are in the celebration of the baby lion:rasp:

EDIT: I wasn't fast enough

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 16:51
No it wasn't.
guys now I have to leave so goodbye everyone!
See you soon.

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 16:52
Anymore questions?
Bye Juliana

IvanaKC
3rd Sep 2008, 16:58
Anymore questions?

How to make a spoiler (not joke).

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 17:09
what's the third part?:rasp:

Lara's.Fan4life
3rd Sep 2008, 17:13
The party after two other parties.....

Okay George cut his dad's cherry tree and told the truth that he did it..... Now can ya tell why his father didn't punished him.....???

Lara's.Fan4life
3rd Sep 2008, 17:20
Hey you first gotta answer my question buddy.....

IvanaKC
3rd Sep 2008, 17:20
what's the third part?:rasp:

Part with crocodiles.

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 17:20
not to rush on anybody, but from now on i set a time limit on 10 minutes to answear a question, just so we aint getting stocked.

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 17:29
The party after two other parties.....

Okay George cut his dad's cherry tree and told the truth that he did it..... Now can ya tell why his father didn't punished him.....???

its because it wasnt he`s tree???:confused:

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 17:36
okay im back and im ready to fire up a really dirty joke. unfortunatly its best on danish but i`ll post it anyway.


there two children (boy and girl) standing NAKED in theyr backyard, suddenly the girl ask if she can touch IT, the boy screams: HELL NO.
why wont the boy let her touch it.



to answear this one you need to look through a little boys eyes.

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 17:42
Part with crocodiles.

Yeah i know.

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 17:43
because in hes eyes she appearantly "ripped"
hers of :lol: LOL

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 17:45
I already knew that one :)

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 17:45
ok heres an easy one:

why is 1,2,3,4,5 and 6 afraid of seven?

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 17:48
because in hes eyes she appearantly "ripped"
hers of :lol: LOL

:lol: that one is very good!

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 17:56
ok heres an easy one:

why is 1,2,3,4,5 and 6 afraid of seven?

i don't know. Please post the answer in a spoiler tag, so who want to find out by themselves don't see it.

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 17:58
i don't know. Please post the answer in a spoiler tag, so who want to find out by themselves don't see it.

because 7 eight 9:D

TwinPistols
3rd Sep 2008, 18:00
because 7 eight 9:D

So easy and so hard at the same time......:D :rolleyes:

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 18:03
yeah. well its easy to make such jokes when you just know the trick of speech.:lol:

IvanaKC
3rd Sep 2008, 18:05
This makes me lough like this :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 18:10
lol

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 18:18
okay and here is THE easyest one i could find in my memory:
Why did the orange stop on the middle of the road?

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 18:22
Now that's very funny :D


I don't know the orange one...

joeyjunior
3rd Sep 2008, 18:38
cuz it ran out of juice:lol: :lol: :lol:

well im going to bed now, i need to sleep this cold out. NIGHT EVERYBODY:D

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 18:39
Night joey.
I post some jokes after 5 minutes.

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 18:42
What does the banana say to the elephant?

karetiner
3rd Sep 2008, 18:43
:o hay un m7undo sin fronteras sin camino ssin andar una luz alli ariba

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 18:46
what?
Does anyone know?

IvanaKC
3rd Sep 2008, 18:53
what?
Does anyone knows?

No.

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 18:58
Bananas don't talk. :rasp:

IvanaKC
3rd Sep 2008, 19:09
HAHA :lol: that was good one

This is not question but it's good joke.

A guy said: I don't drink, I don't smoke and I don't swear.
A day later on party: F**k, my cigarette fell in my beer.

(it doesn't sounds good because of translate).

Mr Croft
3rd Sep 2008, 19:20
That is a good one too :D
My turn now.

A guy: Do you know the elevator joke?
The other guy: No.
The first guy: Neither I. I went trough the stairs.

:D

joeyjunior
4th Sep 2008, 13:28
im back and here is a funny one:

a guy sits in bar, staring at hes beer. suddenly a big rocker comes in and drink hes beer in one zip.
the guy starts to cry like a little baby.
Rocker: arh common its only a beer, i`ll buy you a new one.
Guy: no you dont understand it, earlyer today my clock was broken so i got up to late, when i came out my new big car was broken. when i came late to my job, my boss said that i was fired. then when i came home a letter from my girlfriend was on my pillow, it said that she was breaking up.
and now here comes you and drinks all my POISON!

:D

joeyjunior
4th Sep 2008, 14:21
...

Mr Croft
4th Sep 2008, 14:25
im back and here is a funny one:

a guy sits in bar, staring at hes beer. suddenly a big rocker comes in and drink hes beer in one zip.
the guy starts to cry like a little baby.
Rocker: arh common its only a beer, i`ll buy you a new one.
Guy: no you dont understand it, earlyer today my clock was broken so i got up to late, when i came out my new big car was broken. when i came late to my job, my boss said that i was fired. then when i came home a letter from my girlfriend was on my pillow, it said that she was breaking up.
and now here comes you and drinks all my POISON!

:D


Yeah very funny.
Hey joey. How are you?

Mr Croft
4th Sep 2008, 14:28
I've got one too.
In an history lesson:
-What hapenned in 1769?
-Napoleon was born.
-Well done! And in 1774?
-Napoleon made 5 years.

:D

joeyjunior
4th Sep 2008, 14:29
Yeah very funny.
Hey joey. How are you?
im better now thank you, but my nose is still stuffed and im coufing all the time... but all in everything im fine:D

joeyjunior
4th Sep 2008, 14:31
I've got one too.
In an history lesson:
-What hapenned in 1769?
-Napoleon was born.
-Well done! And in 1774?
-Napoleon made 5 years.

:D

i dont get the point but it is right after all, lol

Mr Croft
4th Sep 2008, 14:39
The cow says to the cat:
-So small and already with a moustache.
The cat says to the cow:
-And you, so big and withour a bra :lol:

joeyjunior
4th Sep 2008, 15:00
damn thats a funy one:lol: :lol: :lol:

to white men where captured by some aborigines, that has a little evil master. they get the 2 opportunitys to either collect 100 fruits and take it back to the master, or to be cooked over fire. the two whites pretty fast say that they wanna collect the 100 pieces of fruit.
the first man comes back with 100 grapes.
-now you shall put em up you ASS without laugh, when we you go. the master says.
the man starts to stuff them up his ass, but when there`s only 2 left he is breaking of laugh.
- why you laugh. the master asks.
- because i just saw my friend running with 100 COCONUTS. :D

Mr Croft
4th Sep 2008, 15:01
That's really funny :lol: :lmao:

Lara's.Fan4life
4th Sep 2008, 15:29
Okay I have got one ......

Lara:**In a Plane** Oh My Gosh!! Look at all those people..... They are looking like ants from above here......
Airhostress: Emm.... Those are Ants Ma'am..... We haven't took off yet........

joeyjunior
4th Sep 2008, 15:36
:lol: lol, thats a little low comic, but its it good:D

IvanaKC
4th Sep 2008, 15:37
I have one but this one is for real life it doesn't work on forum so try to trick your friends:

A guy: You this red house?
Other guy: Yes.
A guy: Me too (so what).

Lara's.Fan4life
4th Sep 2008, 15:39
Alright.... Heres one more......

Teacher: Can you give an example of Coincidence.....???
Kid: My mom and dad got married on the same day and on the same time..... Now that is real coincidence.......

Lara's.Fan4life
4th Sep 2008, 15:40
I have one but this one is for real life it doesn't work on forum so try to trick your friends:

A guy: You this red house?
Other guy: Yes.
A guy: Me too (so what).

sorry couldn't understand that completely......

IvanaKC
4th Sep 2008, 15:46
it's better on croatian

joeyjunior
4th Sep 2008, 15:46
Alright.... Heres one more......

Teacher: Can you give an example of Coincidence.....???
Kid: My mom and dad got married on the same day and on the same time..... Now that is real coincidence.......

:lol: :lol:

joeyjunior
4th Sep 2008, 15:57
heres a short one easy one:

when do you know youre getting TO fat.

Når man ligger på en nudiststrand og de kommer fra Greenpeace og begynder at trække en ud i vandet igen! (just for fun i posted the answear in danish.):D

joeyjunior
4th Sep 2008, 18:31
well this must be how a thread dies...

WHATEVER:eek:

Lara's.Fan4life
4th Sep 2008, 18:46
No No.... its not died.....

Okay I'll try: maybe when he feels heavy and have extra skin around......

Mr Croft
4th Sep 2008, 18:48
Don't know that one.
And the thread is not dead.(rhime :rasp: )

Mr Croft
4th Sep 2008, 20:38
Post some jokes.
Sorry for the double-post.

patorito croft
4th Sep 2008, 23:48
hi guys i have one:

there was a lady so so fat that to
give her a christmas hug her
family and friends started on july:D

joeyjunior
5th Sep 2008, 13:42
ok im back, sorry to say that its dead, i was tired yesterday and actually i cant remember that i posted it:scratch: :confused: :scratch:
well do wanna know the answear to my joke?

Mr Croft
5th Sep 2008, 13:49
Yeah i do.
That's a funny one, Patorito.

joeyjunior
5th Sep 2008, 13:52
when you lay on a bech, and "greenpeace" comes and starts pulling you out in he water!
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Mr Croft
5th Sep 2008, 13:53
LoL:lol:

joeyjunior
5th Sep 2008, 13:56
im working on a big one... it might take some time to get it done.:scratch:

joeyjunior
5th Sep 2008, 14:50
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

DAMN that was a great one... but you should have used the spoiler:rasp:

joeyjunior
5th Sep 2008, 15:06
OKAY, this one is a little rude. so i`ll use the spoiler.

two men sits in the waiting room at the doctor. the one asks:
- "why are you here?"
- "theres a red ring around my D I C K!"
- "ohh," he says, "what a coincidence, cuz there is a blue ring around mine".
they agrees that, its two different stages of the same illnes.
the man with the red ring goes in first, and after a little while the man comes out with a big smile on hes face, and leaves.
the man with the blue D I C K comes in, and the doctor looks at it and gets woried.
- "well, it aint looking good, we`ll need to amputate it!!"
- "Gisp, what do you mean," the man asks.
"you just talked to the other man with the red D I C K, and there was no problem there!"
"Yes", the doctor says, "but there is a diffrence between libstick and gangrene.":lol:

Mr Croft
5th Sep 2008, 15:16
Very funny :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

joeyjunior
5th Sep 2008, 15:28
i dint wanna sound BIG or something, but im kind of a joker:D

want more?

Mr Croft
5th Sep 2008, 15:37
Sure.

joeyjunior
5th Sep 2008, 15:39
ok i`ll see what i can come up with...

joeyjunior
5th Sep 2008, 15:55
two birds sits in a tree, looking at a little turtle climbing up a tree.
when it reached the top, it throw it self out in the air and flapping like a idiot, but falls to the ground with a bang.
when this had happened about 20 times, the one bird says:
"honey, maybe we should tell him that hes adopted?":lol: :lmao:

TwinPistols
5th Sep 2008, 16:38
two birds sits in a tree, looking at a little turtle climbing up a tree.
when it reached the top, it throw it self out in the air and flapping like a idiot, but falls to the ground with a bang.
when this had happened about 20 times, the one bird says:
"honey, maybe we should tell him that hes adopted?":lol: :lmao:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Mr Croft
5th Sep 2008, 16:47
two birds sits in a tree, looking at a little turtle climbing up a tree.
when it reached the top, it throw it self out in the air and flapping like a idiot, but falls to the ground with a bang.
when this had happened about 20 times, the one bird says:
"honey, maybe we should tell him that hes adopted?":lol: :lmao:




:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lmao: :lmao:

joeyjunior
5th Sep 2008, 16:52
i guess you liked that one, eh:rolleyes:

joeyjunior
5th Sep 2008, 17:03
a small one.

MOM, MOM, why is dad zig-zagging in the garden?
shut up kid and hand me more shots.

patorito croft
5th Sep 2008, 18:54
a small one.

MOM, MOM, why is dad zig-zagging in the garden?
shut up kid and hand me more shots.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

i have one:
there was a man so so short that
his head smelled like feet:D

joeyjunior
5th Sep 2008, 18:58
:lol: :lol: hahaha, nice one.

patorito croft
5th Sep 2008, 20:18
i have one:

there was a little fish who was swimming
in all the ocean looking for his mom
he was saying: mom ! mom!, mom where are you?
he traveled all around the world to find her
then after 4 days he found her, and she asked him:
yes darling??, and the little fish said: mom, i'm thirsty:lol: :lol:

IvanaKC
5th Sep 2008, 21:07
I have one too:

Georges mother has long hair, dad is bold. It was dinner time and little George aske his mother: Why is my daddy bold, why he doesn't have any hair?

Mother told him: Because your father is very clever.

George: Then why you have sooooo long hair?

Mother: Oh shut up and eat your dinner!

patorito croft
5th Sep 2008, 21:10
:lol: :lol: nice one ivana

zr0
5th Sep 2008, 21:58
i see here's very funny so i'll add one anecdote too:

While one husky guy was driving his car - BMW with 90 km/h on the road, suddenly one Mercedes appeared out of nowhere in front the BMW. The guy tried to avoid the incoming Mercedes but without success. Two cars crashed.
After 3-4 minutes in unconsciousness husky guy comed out of his car thinking: "NOW I'LL KILL THIS IDIOT!". After that from the other car comed out one priest.

Husky guy:
- What are you doing, idiot? I'll kill you!
Priest:
- My son, calm down...
Husky guy:
- Look my car now!
Priest:
- Leave these irons! The most important thing is that we're alive!
(After that the priest bringed out of his cassock bottle Johny Walker.)
- Let's drink for that.

And he gave the bottle to the husky guy.
Husky guy took a swig and returned the bottle to the priest.
The priest hid the bottle.

Husky guy:
- Why don't you take a swig, priest?
Priest:
- No thanks, I'll wait for the cops!

TwinPistols
6th Sep 2008, 14:17
i see here's very funny so i'll add one anecdote too:

While one husky guy was driving his car - BMW with 90 km/h on the road, suddenly one Mercedes appeared out of nowhere in front the BMW. The guy tried to avoid the incoming Mercedes but without success. Two cars crashed.
After 3-4 minutes in unconsciousness husky guy comed out of his car thinking: "NOW I'LL KILL THIS IDIOT!". After that from the other car comed out one priest.

Husky guy:
- What are you doing, idiot? I'll kill you!
Priest:
- My son, calm down...
Husky guy:
- Look my car now!
Priest:
- Leave these irons! The most important thing is that we're alive!
(After that the priest bringed out of his cassock bottle Johny Walker.)
- Let's drink for that.

And he gave the bottle to the husky guy.
Husky guy took a swig and returned the bottle to the priest.
The priest hid the bottle.

Husky guy:
- Why don't you take a swig, priest?
Priest:
- No thanks, I'll wait for the cops!

:lol: :lol: :lol: that one is very good!

Mr Croft
6th Sep 2008, 14:48
Very funny :lol: :lmao:

IvanaKC
6th Sep 2008, 15:34
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :D i can't stop laughing! :lol:

IvanaKC
16th Sep 2008, 19:15
OK I got one joke, but I'm not sure is it so funny in English:

In 1892 one man came to women that can tell him his destiny. She told him that he will be responsible for death millions of people. Desperate, that man think why he will do such a thing? Then he saw one kid drowning in one big lake. He thought: "Well, I will kill so many people, at least I can save one life." He saved that kid and 10 minutes later his mum came and said that kid:" Adolf Hitler!!!!! Why you don't listening to me?!".

Mr Croft
16th Sep 2008, 19:27
:lol: :lol:

_Love2Raid_
16th Sep 2008, 20:13
I know a funny story. Some of you may have already heard/read it, but I'm gonna tell it anyway :p .

Once upon a time, there was a little bird. The bird was sad, cause it was very cold and he had no where to shelter. The bird couldn't go any further and fell in the grass. It would have died, if it weren't for a twist of fate from mother nature herself. A cow came by and made a huge stool on top of the bird. The bird was warm again!

He was so happy, that he began to sing. He shouldn't have done that, for a cat heard him sing, swiped him out of the stool and ate him up in a second.

The end

What's the lesson that can be learned from this story?

Well: someone who puts you into ***** isn't necessarily your enemy, someone who takes you out of the ***** isn't necessarily your friend!!

Hope y'all liked it :lol:

joeyjunior
18th Sep 2008, 07:32
I know a funny story. Some of you may have already heard/read it, but I'm gonna tell it anyway :p .

Once upon a time, there was a little bird. The bird was sad, cause it was very cold and he had no where to shelter. The bird couldn't go any further and fell in the grass. It would have died, if it weren't for a twist of fate from mother nature herself. A cow came by and made a huge stool on top of the bird. The bird was warm again!

He was so happy, that he began to sing. He shouldn't have done that, for a cat heard him sing, swiped him out of the stool and ate him up in a second.

The end

What's the lesson that can be learned from this story?

Well: someone who puts you into ***** isn't necessarily your enemy, someone who takes you out of the ***** isn't necessarily your friend!!

Hope y'all liked it :lol:

lol:nut:

any one who want another joke from me?

patorito croft
18th Sep 2008, 20:01
hey i wanna hear another one from you joeyjunior, you're funny :D
and i have one but it's a little bit dirty :D

joeyjunior
19th Sep 2008, 17:28
hey i wanna hear another one from you joeyjunior, you're funny :D
and i have one but it's a little bit dirty :D

its ok, just post it in a spoiler

joeyjunior
19th Sep 2008, 19:52
hmmm, Warning: Joke upcomming.

joeyjunior
19th Sep 2008, 19:56
why did the blondy jump over the glas-wall?

little miss Ju
19th Sep 2008, 19:57
To get to the other side?

joeyjunior
19th Sep 2008, 20:04
to see what was ON the other side:lol: :lol:

well that was a little lame... but me head is tired so im not working on 100%...... more on 2% :nut:

little miss Ju
19th Sep 2008, 20:07
to see what was ON the other side:lol: :lol:

well that was a little lame... but me head is tired so im not working on 100%...... more on 2% :nut:

Oh I just got it lol. Ironic that Im blonde and it took me about 5 minutes to get that joke! Thats bad... ^_^

_Love2Raid_
19th Sep 2008, 20:08
:lol: :lmao:

You are very funny Joeyjunior!

_Love2Raid_
19th Sep 2008, 20:14
I´ve found this one on the internet, really made me laugh!

Monkey Organization

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels.

Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.

The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.

The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but ass holes.

:lol: So true!! :lol:

joeyjunior
19th Sep 2008, 20:20
sorry dont get it right now... still on two %



Oh I just got it lol. Ironic that Im blonde and it took me about 5 minutes to get that joke! Thats bad... ^_^
HELL YEAH:D

:lol: :lmao:

You are very funny Joeyjunior!
Well i have heard that alot... just remember that its something i find, or something i dig up from me memory. (or sometimes when im in a good mood, i make them myself:D )

joeyjunior
21st Sep 2008, 16:47
I´ve found this one on the internet, really made me laugh!

Monkey Organization

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels.

Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.

The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.

The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but ass holes.

:lol: So true!! :lol:

HAHA, now i get it:lol: :lol: :lol: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: ... im working on more % now:D

lara 4 ever
21st Sep 2008, 19:21
Who does Lara likes best? Zip or Alister?

Answer: Alister cause he's gay and Lara is lesbian:lol: :lol: :lol:

joeyjunior
22nd Sep 2008, 11:32
lara aint lesbian.

but i think alister might be, gay, but then not.

joeyjunior
23rd Sep 2008, 16:55
hey everybody, i have a NEW joke i`ll think you will find quite funnny:nut:

well its was something i heard from one of me friends at school:

2 idiots is jumping from rooftop to rooftop.
then suddenly they come to a big gap between them and the next house.
they wunder how to get over when the first idiot say: hey i have a idea, i could take this flashlight, and light the beam to the other side... and then you can WALK on it.

the second one says: do you think im a idiot... you`ll turn it off when im half way over!

hope you enjoyed:D

_Love2Raid_
23rd Sep 2008, 17:48
:lol:

I sure did Joey. Keep it coming :D

Lara's.Fan4life
23rd Sep 2008, 18:13
:lmao: :lmao: .... Nice jokes everyone..... I have all in my language.....

joeyjunior
27th Sep 2008, 13:50
ok heres a new one ive been working on. and this one i MADE BY MESELF:D

ones apon a time, a man went in to a fortune teller. she told him that he would kill millions of people. of cousre the man wasnt glad to hear that, so he rushed out of her telt.

he went down to a lake and saw a boy who was drowning. he thought: well if im gonna kill millions of people, i could at least save one.
he rushed down to the water and saved the boy. the boys mom came over and thanked the man. as he turned hes back, he heard the mother say to the boy: ADOLF HITLER, how many times did i told you not to go down to the water alone!


kinda funny ironi, right?:D

IvanaKC
27th Sep 2008, 14:31
I know a funny story. Some of you may have already heard/read it, but I'm gonna tell it anyway :p .

Once upon a time, there was a little bird. The bird was sad, cause it was very cold and he had no where to shelter. The bird couldn't go any further and fell in the grass. It would have died, if it weren't for a twist of fate from mother nature herself. A cow came by and made a huge stool on top of the bird. The bird was warm again!

He was so happy, that he began to sing. He shouldn't have done that, for a cat heard him sing, swiped him out of the stool and ate him up in a second.

The end

What's the lesson that can be learned from this story?

Well: someone who puts you into ***** isn't necessarily your enemy, someone who takes you out of the ***** isn't necessarily your friend!!

Hope y'all liked it :lol:


I already heard that. :lol: :lol: :lol:

JJ: I wrote that joke on page 6 :o And I'm sure you didn't made it up ok? That joke is older than me.

joeyjunior
27th Sep 2008, 15:07
sorry ivana:(

it just pobed up in me tiny head...

IvanaKC
27th Sep 2008, 15:13
Never mind JJ. Joke is finny written by me or by you.

joeyjunior
27th Sep 2008, 15:15
to make it up, i`ll post the most challenging math question i have EVER faced. (got it from me dad)

7 girls sits in a bus.
each girl has 7 bags.
there is 7 cats in each back.
each cat has 7 kittens.

how many legs are there in that bus?

Arctic
27th Sep 2008, 15:26
Oh! Do I really wanna try? Well.. Yes :lol:

7 girls: 7x2 = 14 legs
Each girl has 7 bags with 7 cats: 7x7 = 49 bags. 49x7 = 343 cats. 343x4 = 1372 legs
Each cat has 7 kittens: 343x7 = 2401 kittens. 2401x4 = 9604 legs.

14
+1372
+9604
= 10,990 legs.

Was that correct? :p

IvanaKC
27th Sep 2008, 15:32
Oh! Do I really wanna try? Well.. Yes :lol:

7 girls: 7x2 = 14 legs
Each girl has 7 bags with 7 cats: 7x7 = 49 bags. 49x7 = 343 cats. 343x4 = 1372 legs
Each cat has 7 kittens: 343x7 = 2401 kittens. 2401x4 = 9604 legs.

14
+1372
+9604
= 10,990 legs.

Was that correct? :p


Yes 10 990 legs.

joeyjunior
27th Sep 2008, 15:32
nice work Arctic, your great at maths:D

Arctic
27th Sep 2008, 15:39
Thank you, JJ :) But it wasn't so difficult if you just wrote it down like I did. It makes it a bit more manageable ;)

joeyjunior
27th Sep 2008, 15:43
it took me 15 min before i found out to write it down:p

Arctic
27th Sep 2008, 15:48
Haha :lol: I thought: "Well, I gotta get a paper to write it on.. No wait. I can just write it in my post" :p

_Love2Raid_
27th Sep 2008, 16:03
Doesn´t the busdriver have legs??????????????

:lol:

joeyjunior
27th Sep 2008, 16:08
Doesn´t the busdriver have legs??????????????

:lol:

no one said there was a bus driver!:lol:

_Love2Raid_
27th Sep 2008, 16:10
Well a bus doesn't drive itself does it?? Maybe one of the kittens was driving it.........

:lol: :lol:

10.992 legs :D (Sorry Arctic :rasp: )

joeyjunior
27th Sep 2008, 16:18
i didnt say it was driving.
it was just to have a place for those naughty girls.:rasp:

10990
-----------

Arctic
27th Sep 2008, 16:21
Well a bus doesn't drive itself does it?? Maybe one of the kittens was driving it.........

:lol: :lol:

10.992 legs :D (Sorry Arctic :rasp: )

Lol :lol: Well, maybe the bus is old and isn't being used anymore, and the girls live on the streets and sleep in the bus with all their cats? ;)

joeyjunior
29th Sep 2008, 13:27
lets get some fire on this thread, shall we?

ANYONE WHO KNOW A NEW JOKE???