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viZZiOn
31st Jul 2005, 06:56
how can i know its truth when she sais she loves me?/
when all throughout my youth i was never taught what love means/
is she using me? is there a way to be certain?/
is her affection really love? or just an iron curtain?/
these sucubis seem to chase my just to play with my emotions/
they make me think its love just to get my magic potions/
so am i her lover or just a simple supplier?/
can she not live without me? or do i just get her higher?/
only one way to tell, all my possesions, to the fire/
so now i present myself naked, dirty, and poor/
so now i present myself curled up on the floor/
she takes me in her arms just to kick my in the ribs/
no compasion, and thats all that i'd ever give/
this deed, is one i'm sure i wont forgive/
i'll get my revenge when i remember how to live/

[bridge]
one thing will never change i'll allways remain an artist/
no matter what the situation i have a conflicted soul regardless/

[chorus]{x2}
/so this is what they must have meant by chemically imbalanced/
/i knew that it was mental and that i'm not mentally challenged/
/so i thought that i'd get through it cause i knew that i could do it/
/so i gave it my all and turns out....i ****ing blew it/

so here i am all my old friends ignore me/
and the sucubi doesnt care that i'm hungry and lonely/
but i dont need to eat that why i've got cocaine/
they all seem to think its me but i know its them whos changed/
they say they want to help me but i wont fall for that again/
i've got everything i need and all that i need is me/
but i still want all of you i hope that isnt hard to see/
i'd cut off my hand if it would help a friend in need/
but now i'm left abandoned when a friend is all i need/
after last time i swore never again would i become a victim/
and now its hard to tell what my stomachs gettin sick from/
it could be the yips, or the pills, but i do believe its you/
and since you seem to be the problem i know just what i'll do/
and since what goes around dont seem to come around no more/
the only solution left is to leave you bloody on the floor/

[bridge]

[chorus]

and as part of my solution i guess i'll buy you one last present/
its these ****ing bullets and they're wrapped up in resentment/
i hope you're not upset that i forget to get a card/
and if you are whine all you want cause it wont get you far/
see i've caught on that we're all just actors in your play/
but now my lines have changed to improv so its my choice what i say/
so now i sit stage left in the corner loading my gun/
and by now i want to do it i'm going to kill to have some fun/
.45s get tucked in at night, in the clip they go one by one/
darkness is my ally and at 6am we'll kill the sun/
then at 6:01 we'll move onto my master plan/
the brutal mutilation of the mask, just to reveal the scam/
so lets bring out the director of the ****ed up production/
well its not productive but i garauntee its something/
see my hand is on the grip and my arm begins to raise/
the music may have skipped but it still continues to play/
see now that my eyes are open i refuse to keep on getting played/
my eyes look down the sight at you on center stage/
now the audience goes silent cause they dont know what to think/
and everyones stopped breathing, to ****ing scared to blink/
see now the guns been cocked and theres a shell inside the chamber/
see now you begin to realize that your actually in danger/
see now you start to realize that you should have stayed to me a stranger/
see now you start to see the real side of me and i bet you ****ing hate it/

*gunshot*

[bridge]
[chorus]
[bridge]
[chorus]

viZZiOn
31st Jul 2005, 06:57
:thumbsup: this thread was designed for ORIGINAL rap ish, if you write, feel free to post, die if you steal, comment all you like

blackcourage
31st Jul 2005, 07:37
yea i can rap..
cas i commit to my thought lik homies givin Dap *

*raises fist*

J-Hood
31st Jul 2005, 08:19
Did you write that vizz? I read it all it was real good. You got some nice writting skills. I myself rap I put out 2 unoffical mixtapes im a punchline rapper. Im not a (so called) noob to it because I use Punchlines,Multis,Producits, and Metaphors. My biggest influence is Cassidy (mixtape matterial) I swear I was gonna make the SAME exact topic of my skills but I didnt wanna see my name too much as topic maker in these forums. Im startin a group because my last 1 broke up from talent gaps but now im going to take the next seriously. But ill spit some punchlines off the top before I goto bed. (J-Hood is not my rap name since theres a rapper named Jae Hood from D-Block)

Down in D-Town they call me the #1 roaster and if you got beef wit me then you better expect your head on my poster. Any other beef I'll spit in yo face and make sure through ya eyes you cant see straight. I put my **** in ya chicks mouth so he can feel how her teeth tastes. I'll skeet in her face and stick to it like toothpaste. She will need to be talkin wireless ill put a clip in her eye and leave her eyeless. And if her boys comes she dont want it wit me boy ill leave him havin vizzions (no diss) like he cant see me boy. I'll skin his face to my car seat's boy. So he can remember me boy.

Well I aint done this in a long time. I aint style stealin wit the boy parts. I'll add more later. Im more of a rap battler then a freestyler. Hey vizzions just wondering how long you been writting and whats your rap name?

Edit: Talk is cheap lets see some lines blackcourage

viZZiOn
31st Jul 2005, 13:20
i definatly appreciate the positive comeback on all that, i used to write for a good 3 years or so, but about a year ago it just sorta stopped, i just recently started again and thats the result, my rap names viZZiOn actually (surprise), and if your in the new york area expect to see me tryin to sell mkixtapes outside the virgin megastore within 4 or 5 month

viZZiOn
31st Jul 2005, 13:21
yea i can rap..
cas i commit to my thought lik homies givin Dap *

*raises fist*

heh, BC spittin an amazing 1 bar :D

ice13
31st Jul 2005, 15:37
i guess i rap okay but when i write it down on paper it sounds good.i am really good at rhymes.

a guy hit me in the face
so we fought all over the place
i hit him with my elbows
then threw him up aganist five poles
i punched him in the nose
to have him bleeding all over his clothes
then i hit him in the stomach
it was hard he was about to vomit
i picked him up and gave him a body slam
someone said god d***
then i did a couple of more moves
he gave up because he know he was gonna lose
i said to him learn some manners
because next time i'll throw you into tables and ladders

viZZiOn
31st Jul 2005, 19:18
ice was that freestyle or pen and ink?

not bad regardless

viZZiOn
31st Jul 2005, 22:14
got another one for yall

yeah kidd welcome back/
from the war in iraq/
most men couldnt handle that/
seein they buddies get got/
seein they buddies get shot/
all those memories that you wish you'd forgot/
common soldier boy aint this what you wanted?/
go fight for freedom, you were ****in retarded/
you played your part well trading lives for some oil/
fighting for YOUR freedom on THIER ****in soil/
but it wasnt a takeover it was a preliminary strike/
tell your kidds its ok when at war to take lives/
tell your kidds its ok now cause daddys come home/
till second tour time and then they're all alone/

[bridge]
\welcome back/
\yeah kidd, welcome back/

[chorus]
lookit you soldier boy all done up in fatigues/
lookit you soldier boy all big with your m16/
lookit you soldier boy bout to change a regigm/
lookit you fightin for freedom wake up from that dream/

so how was the desert i bet ya had fun/
while you was runnin around chasing camels with guns/
didnt you ever wonder who was finding osama?/
and hey if you died what would they tell your momma?/
now i know you dun right you overthrew a dictator/
and your wife left while you were gone but **** i cant blame her/
when did it seem smart to leave her all alone all that time/
after a while you knew shed call for the next one in line/
so hey welcome back home i hope you findin it pleasing/
next time theres a war kidd, you think you'll be leaving?/

(childs voice:"mommy lookit what i made for daddy! can we send it to him?")
(explosions and sounds of battle)
(mother:"of course we can baby, he's gonna love it")
(gunfire)
(soldier:"holy **** they ****ing killed him")
(dying father:"tell my family...i lo...")
(explosions)

[bridge][x2]
[chorus]

welcome back ma'****ers
at least ma'dukes'll be happy now

ice13
31st Jul 2005, 22:20
ice was that freestyle or pen and ink?

not bad regardless

thanks man and that was freestyle but it took a few minutes to come up with it.

lilbreakdown
2nd Aug 2005, 03:26
iight u know i can flow im frome dat cbt so u know i dont give isht about what u say i grab ma tech 9 and i blow u away i am a man who dont care mexican blood whit a ak in the air been shot 1 time straight thru the leg i aint cripiled and i can still run u keep ya **** on low while keeo cockin ma gun i aint rappin fo fun ima get out da hood im the new game aint changein shiit if i could haha im the boi u dont know the cat in the back teach hatein on me aint cuttin no slack ***** ma mom a blood and ma pop a crip i play both sides and im cool whit it now get straight vizzion u a white guy u aint a slim shady go back to callin ya daddy babby rip gotti i hope u feel good but when i am stuck ima be stuck in da hood

viZZiOn
2nd Aug 2005, 05:51
please kid i never said i was slim shady/
just a cracka on the mic who can outrap you daily/
only thing you can try to say about me's racial/
but you picked the wrong battle and got a lyrical facial/
the only rap you know is what on MTV/
so step back a bit ya cant **** with me/
notice how i type, its correct gramatically/
just trying to bring back the daays of a real emcee/
and these stupid ma'****ers wanna **** with me?/
so kid forget it/
or get deaded/
and ya corpse'll get shredded/
and ma'dukes'll get beheaded/
then you'll ****in regret it/
keep close to heart what i said kidd/
'ay look lil'breakdown/
ya' ass just got clowned/
i could wreck ya in you're own hometown/
or wherever the **** you'd wanna have **** go down/
and keep on rememberin, you're a ****in disgrace/
ayo its your turn but you got second place/

viZZiOn
2nd Aug 2005, 05:53
sorry it took so long to get back with that, its hard to laugh and type at the same time...
go back to school youngin

ice13
2nd Aug 2005, 05:56
that was a tight rap vizzion.

viZZiOn
2nd Aug 2005, 07:14
thanks ice i appreciate it

anyway...lil'breakdown...where'd you go?

hope you'r back in school

come back when you're past the basics

J-Hood
2nd Aug 2005, 08:00
Anotha good 1 vizzs I never really tried writting. I just know if i were to write it would sound basic like ya said about breakdown. Im currently listenin to Cannibus though he got good poetic skills along with punchlines. Man I thought I was the only 1 who though there was rap levels. I seen rappers say they GOOD and spit and its like wow that was garbage but like pac said "keep ya head up". I dont think I reached my maxed potential I think lil breakdown (ExAmPlE) could write somthing better then me but if I were to add some p.lines then itd be good. Im also listenin to Papoose hes pretty good I think listening to lyricists help my writting. (Took me forever to purnounce it right Leer-Ri-Sist I used ot say lyric-sis.t)

Lil Freestyle (my bad if it sux/Im not dissing):

Back wit my car seats boy you dont rap you sing for the chicks like Lloyd/ And She was like Oh! J-Hooood until I got you in the bed I didnt know you felt so good/ She said I was the best now I feel bad because I skeeted in her sheets and made a mess/ I hopped out with my jumpsuit and shes asking me am I still ready to shoot hoops?/ But I said I was done I hop chick to chick like a catholic non/ I aint the braggin type im just like to tag at night/ I aint a gangster at all Im just the type what I flow like a niagra galls.

Edit: I feel dumb typin that catholic non part it soundz too much like "Dream"

viZZiOn
2nd Aug 2005, 08:23
that last one was straight freestyle actually

i personally love writing

but hey a battles fun once and a while too

all i really do to write is freestyle, then go back and change ****, then go back and change ****...you get the idea

stay safe

J-Hood
2nd Aug 2005, 08:27
I feels stupid when I first started writting I mest up so much that I kinda just stopped and started focusing more on freestyle. I think I figured out what some people do in freestyles (maybe =rare=ly used) They write a list of rhymes and use some in non order in a freestyle. Im about to start doing that. I remember the good ol days when i ran out of words I'd go "Uhhhh dang" or somthin like that.

viZZiOn
2nd Aug 2005, 08:46
haha yeah, i remember when me and my boy massikizt used to battle each other over the phone when we were grounded and sh;t. what i been doin to write recently though, i just set one of the beats i have on my computer onto repeat and just wait till the energy starts flowing

viZZiOn
2nd Aug 2005, 12:01
looks like lil'breakdown/
went and broke down/
cause the mathafawkoo just aint around/
cause his ass got clowned/
cause his ass just learned how **** goes down/
his ass didnt even show for the second round/
i keep listnin for him but i aint heard a sound/
meanwhile the name viZZiOn's become globably renown/

viZZiOn
2nd Aug 2005, 12:03
Lil Freestyle (my bad if it sux/Im not dissing):

Back wit my car seats boy you dont rap you sing for the chicks like Lloyd/ And She was like Oh! J-Hooood until I got you in the bed I didnt know you felt so good/ She said I was the best now I feel bad because I skeeted in her sheets and made a mess/ I hopped out with my jumpsuit and shes asking me am I still ready to shoot hoops?/ But I said I was done I hop chick to chick like a catholic non/ I aint the braggin type im just like to tag at night/ I aint a gangster at all Im just the type what I flow like a niagra galls.

Edit: I feel dumb typin that catholic non part it soundz too much like "Dream"

that sh;ts not bad man

and i didnt get back at lil cause he sucked (which he does) i gt back at him for tryin to play me (which he didnt)

J-Hood
2nd Aug 2005, 18:11
Damn this is about to be good.

lilbreakdown
3rd Aug 2005, 01:27
iight fool i diddnt wanna diss speacaly since ya boi frine done kissed you/
i take this **** for real homie u mad cause u aint got a deal/
i take a stick shove it thru ya head damn home boi jus a white man dead fall to the ground and sleep allover bith i run ya ass over in a range rover/ima soldier one like no other man ya ass is tryin to act liek a brother/***** dont **** whit a blood cause ill beat u down how u think i get ma name breakdown/ima come for u agin real real soon so go get ya boifriend and **** one time ***** ma ass is thru whit dis ryme/ :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

lilbreakdown
3rd Aug 2005, 01:34
k cuz u done made me lose ma buzz and start to cuz/
i smack ya head in door slap ya whore whit a led pipe and a 2 by 4/
ima settle da score man u aint frome da hood/
shiiit ya ass cant be like me even if u wish you could/
see ima gangsta at heart and a thug in the soul ***** u stuck listenin to rock and role/
ima show u how do when i roll thru last night shiiit i was ****in high/
got shot at and done a drive by came back ****ed whit you/
breakdown is a blood do u know what ido i kill for fun and i rap fo the cash ***** i make ya ass disapear in a flash/
u a lil white boi u cant rap put ya toy phone away and kiss ma mexican asssssssss/ :eek: u cant rap boi put ya skillz donw take it frome a thug or ima break u down/ :eek: :eek: :eek:

lilbreakdown
3rd Aug 2005, 01:42
ok ***** u think u can clown i aint racial wtf is a lyrical facial u cant spit i make u bowdown/
ya ass is softer then a tissue **** u homie i think ima ***** u/
forget you ya ***** ass aint got nothin to say u still tryin to get the lines right frome forgot about dre/
u know that lil rap em and the doc did ***** bowdown and stop callin me kid/
u dont wanna get me mad ***** do like the comercial say jus get glad/
i know u a discrace to this rap game ***** ya ass whants to be insain on the mic like breakdown is **** i think u jus pised in ya pants look they all yellow u a coward u a internet mc u go to websites and pretend you me thats y u got to be one the best mc on this board but i came back and now im evening this score/ :cool: :cool:

ice13
3rd Aug 2005, 02:08
iight fool i diddnt wanna diss speacaly since ya boi frine done kissed you/
i take this **** for real homie u mad cause u aint got a deal/
i take a stick shove it thru ya head damn home boi jus a white man dead fall to the ground and sleep allover bith i run ya ass over in a range rover/ima soldier one like no other man ya ass is tryin to act liek a brother/***** dont **** whit a blood cause ill beat u down how u think i get ma name breakdown/ima come for u agin real real soon so go get ya boifriend and **** one time ***** ma ass is thru whit dis ryme/ :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

was u talking about me?

viZZiOn
3rd Aug 2005, 05:45
whats all this ish bout you gettin shot?/
this is MY world just in case ya forgot/
so ya took one in the leg/
then ya started to beg/
"common man dont kill me please!/
you like my car? here take the keys"/
gettin shot aint gangsta it jus makes you a target/
kidd ****in with me just makes you ****in retarded/
cause kidd i get **** goin and you dont really want that/
and kidd i put this burner right where ya tounge at/
so whyd you do that?/
ya need to take your crew back/
to school black/
cause you know i be to phat/
lil'breakdown stayin close to my **** like a beeper/
but i'm about to where this ***** out like a sneaker/
ayo you straight bring the worst game/
couldnt be the one if KRS was your first name/
ya know on the mic i straight just talk/
and i've won more battles than your ***** ass has lost/ (and thats alot)
lookat that your whole style is weak/
you've been defeated depleted/
your whole style is cheap/
so this is a big **** you to anyone out there that hates this/
it aint my fault that you cant appreciate what great it/
i dunno how you still tryin to deny that my rhymes are tight/
and i'm lettin you know that i coulda been ya dad right?/
and matter fact i was with ya moms last night/
and matter fact i'm the reason your little sisters half white/
now how dope does that make you?/
on the mic i'll break you/
even if you was a ***** with her legs open no one would rape you/
just so ya know i've got a monster inside me/
and i'd hide because from any tiny disruption you'll find the destruction of all emcees/
it doesnt feel right to let a fake emcee walk away from me not bleedin/
even if i did like you personally i'd have to hurt you just for teasin/
and its like the grand canyon but theres a man standing in front of you/
yeah as the monster comes to **** up ya crew/

viZZiOn
4th Aug 2005, 00:39
what happened breakdown? couldnt find anyone to ghost write anything good for you?

lilbreakdown
4th Aug 2005, 02:41
homie chill da **** down this **** is for fun i said i got shot cause i was high which i did get shot but damn homie i aint tryin to prove **** to you u aint a thug a gangsta u aint in da hood u actin like u does but cuz calm down u take **** and stick it together frome other raps but ice and vizzion needs to chill damn im 16 and i aint lost ma cool vizzion is takein to seriously

ice13
4th Aug 2005, 03:14
homie chill da **** down this **** is for fun i said i got shot cause i was high which i did get shot but damn homie i aint tryin to prove **** to you u aint a thug a gangsta u aint in da hood u actin like u does but cuz calm down u take **** and stick it together frome other raps but ice and vizzion needs to chill damn im 16 and i aint lost ma cool vizzion is takein to seriously

what do u mean i need to chill i just asked you a question? all i asked was u talking about me in your rap.

lilbreakdown
4th Aug 2005, 03:15
yep i was talkin about u in ma rap and u need to chill :cool:

ice13
4th Aug 2005, 03:22
yep i was talkin about u in ma rap and u need to chill :cool:

your raps suck

i don't care if u wanna round three
u can't rap better than me
u already got dissed twice
u don't want none of ice
who cares if you were in juvenile
u the one need to chill out for a while

listen dude while u was in jail they probably made you into a lady. so don't talk about me being gay because it seems like you are because you keep going back.

lilbreakdown
4th Aug 2005, 03:23
Read Ma Post ***** I Said I Aint Tryin Whit Ya Anze ***** Ya Raps Suck Is That All U Gotta Say ***** :d :d

ice13
4th Aug 2005, 03:32
read my post and another thing grow up. your sixteen and still acting like a baby.

Mike_B
4th Aug 2005, 08:27
That's enough of it.