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View Full Version : Lara Croft and the Quest for. . . Orbital Bombardment!?



Hikoushi Aori
21st Mar 2004, 04:07
It was rather late in her shift, but senior and current commanding officer Tre Soban was not about to let that stop her from carrying out what she saw fit. Being one of the oldest aboard the carrier Caal'Se was a job in itself. Quickly navigating through the crampt, twisting corridors for the unth time was the easy part though. Being born and raised on Kharak for most her life, her lifestyle was very traditional. She had something of a, "Mowhawk" and, "Ponytail" to her white hair, and her attire was clearly the armour-like dress of a Sobani mercanary.

The reason she had been called down was simple: deal with the Taiidani threat. It was all quite exciting really: Her ancestor had been kicked off their home ten thousand years ago by the small but powerful Taiidan Empire, and they built a Mothership to take a select few of six hundred fifty thousand individuals back. Her carrier (constructed by the mothership along the way), contained a crew of fifty or so, excluding the strike-craft residing in the carrier's hold. Additionally, it also housed several hundreds of crewmembers in a small cryogenic freezing chamber for future, "purposes."

After arriving on the comfortable yet still cramped bridge, one of her lower ranking officers announced the difficulties encountered.

"Greetings Captain, we have updated the situation to code three. It definately isn't Hiigara."

"What is it then?" she snapped in response.

"Taiidani asset. We're picking up large amounts of communications from them as well."

"Where from?"

"On an island off the coast of a large peninsula, and somewhere on a very large continent west of that. I suggest we bombard the entire landforms and take a few prisoners out of both."

"Do we have any shuttle capable of shuttle-flight?"

"One; recently constructed too."

"Good than; but how do you plan to bombard it?"

"We have an Ion Frigate weapons array hooked up to the Carrier's core. We weren't able to finish the rest of it yet."

"Excellent than, you have my permission."

And so it began, out of the carrier's mouth came a huge, terrible red beam of postively charged Ions at super-hot temperatures. Out from space and onto the greatest of the Emerald Isle's, Great Britain. Of course, it landed smack dab in the middle of London, creating a lovely crater about a mile wide. However, it did not destroy the beloved mansion of a famous heroin residing nearby what was very recently London at tea-time. It was a pity really, because the Taiidani signals were no more than BBC broadcasts very similar to that of the Taiidani broadcasts, frequencies and all. Of course, FOX and NBC were up next on orbital bombardment.

Arctic_Wolf
21st Mar 2004, 18:07
Dracoraptor, you blew up my house!

CatSuit&Ponytail
22nd Mar 2004, 14:48
This is sooooooo familiar somehow.....

nbs1243
22nd Mar 2004, 18:32
Are there aliens in this story?

Sounds a bit like a Star sci fi script. A bit like that John Travolta Battleship Earth or something.

John Carter
23rd Mar 2004, 04:00
Originally posted by CatSuit&Ponytail
This is sooooooo familiar somehow.....

Yeah, it kinda is, isn't it?

jso2897
24th Mar 2004, 04:06
"However, it did not destroy the beloved mansion of a famous heroin residing nearby what was very recently London at tea-time. "

Famous heroin, eh? Would that be the Mexican brown or the Chinese white?

nbs1243
24th Mar 2004, 08:27
Um, do you guys take heroin?

Are you guys nutbags? You know, it's 100 years in prison for heroin you know?

EddyBones
25th Mar 2004, 02:43
Originally posted by nbs1243
You know, it's 100 years in prison for heroin you know?
Riiiiiiight....:rolleyes:

The maximum sentence for heroin charges is 15 years in prison and/or a $250,000 fine.

whitemetal
25th Mar 2004, 14:52
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I stumbled over these did anybody drop some!