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theBlackman
25th Jan 2004, 05:38
Some oldies some new. But a fun buch of quotes:

1) My husband and I divorced over religious
differences. He thought he was God and I didn't!

2) I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

3) I work hard because millions on welfare depend on
me!

4) Some people are alive only because it's illegal to
kill them.

5) I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

6) Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out
alive.

7) You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

8) Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

9) Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

10) Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is
research.

11) I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

15) God must love stupid people, he made so many.

16) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

17) It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.

18) I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

19) Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.

20) Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

21) Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam (seen on
Cape Cod )

22) Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be
When I Grew Up

23) Procrastinate Now

24) Rehab Is for Quitters

25) My Dog Can Lick Anyone

26) Finally 21, and Legally Able To Do Everything I've
Been Doing Since 15

27) West Virginia : One million people and 15 last names


28) FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with
the software.

29) MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT

30) A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash
advance

31) STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!

32) They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was
already taken

33) He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead

34) POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN ..... Cops have
nothing to go on.

35) FOR SALE - Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.

36) HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH

37) A PICTURE IS WORTH A 1000 WORDS, but it uses up a
1000 times the memory.

38) The Meek shall inherit the earth, after we're
through with it.

39) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

40) HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken, a
lifetime commitment for a pig.

41) WELCOME TO SOUTH CAROLINA - Set your watch back
200 years.

42) The trouble with life is there's no background music.

43) The original "point and click interface" was a
Smith & Wesson

littlek
25th Jan 2004, 15:48
LOL tBM. I could have used a few of those in a meeting Thursday after I was accused of listening to those voices in my head. I did use #7; about the 'voices only talk to me' but I see I can add a few more to my list.

SlyFoxx
25th Jan 2004, 15:58
Love it.:cool: How about....

44) "Time flies...when you don't know what you're doing."

or

45) " It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."