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View Full Version : The Conquest of Nosgoth has been REVIVED!



Apocrypha Roxy
4th Jun 2003, 20:33
Things have gotten a tad dull (here? pshaw!) and I thought I'd ressurect our old game.

From what I remember... PowerReaver, Rio, Azrael, Rook, I think Krel, and... uh... well, me too, were participating. And if I forgot you, then, whoopsie! :)

Everyone can play. It's a free for all, goofy quest.

Last time, we'd used Melchiah as a moonwalk, spritzed Zephon with Windex (thank you, Rio), and we had camped out in the Cathedral for some s'mores and stuff.

Then we were on our way to Rahab's for a pool party.

Get your pool noodles and your floaties. :D

Let's begin!!

(no sigs, please, and just have some fun!)

KoolKat_EF
4th Jun 2003, 20:58
Woohoo! I'll join ya! Anyone want Martini?

*dressed in bikini, bottle of Martini in one hand*

Let's Party!!! :D:p:D


Btw, Apocrypha, just wanted to apologise for that little spat we had. I've just been on edge recently

Apocrypha Roxy
4th Jun 2003, 22:56
Ish okay, sweetie, we've all had a bad week. -huggles-

The gang, after waking up from their campout slumber, clear their eyes of eyehockey and fix their sleep-rumpled clothes.

Kat: OOH where do we go next?!
PR: ... Rahab's, naturally.
Kat: POOLTIME!

-everyone gets dressed in bathingsuits (Kat in her bikini, naturally) and grabs pool floaties-

Now, I know what you're thinking, we vampires can't go in water. Well, some of us can, and the rest will bask in the sun. Okay, you're also thinking we vampires can't go out in the sun, either.
WHO CARES?!

-Rio hits Rook in the head with a pool noodle-

Rook: Why'd you do that?!
Rio: Why not? :p -runs away-

NightChyld
5th Jun 2003, 02:28
NightChyld crashes pool party with little, yellow, ducky innertube and suggests using Vorador's severed head as a beach ball.

KoolKat_EF
5th Jun 2003, 17:44
*KK swandives into pool, leaving the martini on a table*

Woohoo! Come on in! The water's fine.... well, except for vampires, I guess. :D

I'm a vampirirc demon, so I guess I'm alright. :p

Anyone remember to bring sun lotion? ;)

Matthew
5th Jun 2003, 18:48
Matt stands around the campfire and scratches head

- Matthew

KoolKat_EF
5th Jun 2003, 19:43
*Grabs Matt by the hand and pulls him to the party*

Don't just stand there, sweetie, come and party! Here's a glass of martini. :D:p

Let's dance! :D

Apocrypha Roxy
6th Jun 2003, 00:54
Rox stands by the pool with a bottle of sun lotion - SPF 5,000,000.
Can't be too careful... :D

Everyone's relaxing in the abbey when suddenly a rumbling voice is heard:

"Who's there?"

:eek: Looks like we forgot to remind the landlord...


Naturally, Rahab is a bit pertubed that we've crashed his pad, and so sends his kids - who are fugly, and smell like week-old tuna, as we know - to give us an unwelcome party.

And here is where the action starts.

Kat: It is?
Rox: YES.
Kat: Oh...
Matt: I have an idea...
NC: Great - because the rest of us don't.

-everyone gathers to hear Matt's mad plan-

the suspense is killing me!!

Lady Kreliana
6th Jun 2003, 06:58
*Krel comes out of nowhere*

Krel: Am I late?

Evelin The Winged
6th Jun 2003, 09:55
*is sent crashing through the window by a giant cannon*
Can I join?

Apocrypha Roxy
6th Jun 2003, 14:00
Krel, Evelin, Kat, NC, Matt, and moi huddle in a circle, as we hear the plan. Occassionally Kat and Evelin will poke their heads out and giggle toward's Rahab's pool. They are immediately yanked back into the huddle.

Matt: MMkay?
Krel: Can we go over that again?
Matt: :eek: :mad:
Krel: ... just kidding! :D


We grab our floaties and march over to the Hab-man himself.


Kat: Here, fishy fishy fishy...
Rahab: Who said you can have a pool party in my abbey and not invite me?!
Kat: ... we did.
Rahab: It was a rhetorical question. Since you tresspassed my territory, I'm going to have to destroy you. And fix my ATT alarm system.
Matt: Go with Sloamans, they install free.
Rahab: Really?
Matt: Mmmhmmm.
Rahab: Thanks.

-Krel starts to sing the Sloaman's Shield commercial jingle-

Krel: Shield your home, the Sloamans-
NC: Krel!
Krel: ... shield. Okay, I'm done.
NC: So, you're gonna smite us, fishyman?
Rahab: Yep.
NC: I think not.

At NC's command, we all pull out Clorox bleach toilet tablets. Germ-killing goodness.

Rahab: :eek:
Matt: -wiggles tablet- Time to scrub the bowl clean...
Rahab: NO NO NONONONONOOOOOOO!!!

-tablets get plunked in-

Rahab shrieks as the water fizzes like Alka-Seltzer.

Krel: I can't believe I ate the whole thing!
NC: STOP WITH THE COMMERCIALS!!!
Krel: Fine, fine. :rolleyes:

Rahab: I'm melting! I'm melting! Aaaaahhhhhh!!!

-Rahab melts into a puddle of nothing. The abbey is sanitized.-

Rox: YAY poolparty! Last one in buys lunch!

-Everyone proceeds to race into the pool. Nevermind that a few of us are klutzy.-

All: YIPE! :D

jesta
6th Jun 2003, 15:42
ok i think its time we found the cronoplast chamber and went for a night out in the 60s, Yeah Baby!!!!!!!!!! :D

Azrael
6th Jun 2003, 19:03
*puts on his swimnsuit and grabs his yellow rubber duck ^^*

<scream>Hiya guys!!!</scream>

*jumps on the ex-Rahab's pool*

BOMBS AWAY!!!!

**splash**

*everybody wet*

Apocrypha Roxy
6th Jun 2003, 19:26
-Rox bellyflops into the pool-

Kat: Eep!
Az: Thar she blows!
Rox: That ISN'T funny, Azrael...
Az: -sheepish grin- Sorry.
NC: I have Vorry's head. Let's play volley ball!

The group splits into 2 teams:

Rox, Kat, Az, Krel,

and

NC, Evelin, Jesta, Matt.

-sports announcer's voice-:
Ladies and Gentlemen, let the games begin! NC serves the ball first, it goes flying over the pool and bonks Azrael on the head, a perfect move! The ball's now soaring over to the other side, and Evelin and Matt go rushing for the block - ohhhh, they crashed! Jesta catches it just in time and sends it back over - and Krel spikes it sky high! The excitement is killing me! Kat cheers on her teammates as Rox sits like a wet hen, since she can't play volley ball for beans..

Rox: I need a drink.
Kat: Refill my martini, if you please?
Rox: 'Kay. Where did Rahab keep the Shnapps?
Kat: Guess you'll have to raid the liquor cabinet. ;)
Rox: I guess I'll have to. :D

-Roxy runs off to get liquored up-

Kat: Don't forget the Clan Macgregor! :D

Matthew
7th Jun 2003, 21:02
-Matt still stands with a glass of Martini-

...

Matt: "Could I have a glass of carrot juice?"

:)

- Matthew

Apocrypha Roxy
8th Jun 2003, 00:39
Rox: I can make a mean screwdriver. You want one?

-everyone raises their hands-

Rox: Okie dokie. -runs off-

Lady Kreliana
8th Jun 2003, 02:45
Krel: I'd prefer a fuzzy naval, please.

Apocrypha Roxy
8th Jun 2003, 03:29
-looks at tummy-

-makes a face- You sure?

-Krel gives Roxy a look-

OH you meant the drink. Sure, coming right up! :D

KoolKat_EF
8th Jun 2003, 20:47
*hiccough* teehee! *hiccough....hiccough*

Matthew... Apocrypha.... did I ever tell you what good friends you were?

*hiccough*:D

Bah! You don't know me...:p

*Splash!!! KK falls in pool and giggles madly*

Whey hey! Where's the Bacardi and Vodka? hehehehehe!

Apocrypha Roxy
9th Jun 2003, 18:20
-hugs Matt and Kat, plants a big kiss on their cheeks-

Matt: Eww...
Kat: :eek:
Rox: Ahem... sorry.


Roxy comes back with bottles of goodies and sets up a bar-b-que for a picnic.

Rox: Who likes burgers?

All: MEMEMEMEME!

Rox: Who likes hotdogs?

All: MEMEMEMEME!

Rox: Who likes chicken?

All: MEMEMEMEME!

Rox: Who likes baby-back ribs?

All: MEMEMEMEME!

Rox: Who... laid an egg?

All: MEMEMEME- oh. :(

Rox: Gotcha! :D :p

Evelin: Who wants to get liquored up?

All: MEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEMEME!!

-everyone runs out of the pool-

Evelin: ...cool.

KoolKat_EF
9th Jun 2003, 19:13
Errm, I think I might have laid an egg. :eek:

Lemme check...


Liquor!!! Woohoo I wanna get as legless as an elf. :D:p:D

Lady Kreliana
10th Jun 2003, 02:38
Krel: I would suggest playing a game of croquet, but I think we'd end up beating each other with the mallets and balls. Oh well. *Thinks of another activity to do* Maybe horseshoes?

Rook
10th Jun 2003, 05:57
Rook: There are very few things a croquet mallet could do that a well-aimed horseshoe couldn't do even more effectively. This could get messy... http://www.imagemagician.com/images/rook/survali/evil12.gif


http://www.imagemagician.com/images/rook/vestieri/blackeye.gif

KoolKat_EF
10th Jun 2003, 18:30
Howsabout Rugby? :D

You don't need mallets, balls and horseshoes to have a great time.... :p

Oh heck! I'm sober again.... :o Pass the Martini bottle please. ;)

Apocrypha Roxy
10th Jun 2003, 19:57
Rox: Howabout we all sit down and eat something, first? It's not good to drink on an empty stomach... :D

-Rox hands out yummies-

Evelin: -stuffing her face- mmhmmmgmmm!
All: -chewing- Hmmm?
Evelin: -swallows- This is really good.
All: -stuffing faces- MMMMmmm!

Rox: :rolleyes: Howabout we play... drown the Dumahim? We'll re-enact Raziel's execution. Maybe Dumah's kids will come back blue and gutless. Eh?

-The group exchanges evil smirks-

Krel: Let's do it!

Azrael
10th Jun 2003, 20:54
Az: Wee, and we can even play darts with Dumah
*gets a pointy stick*

Everyone: Yay!

*starts running towards the Rahab's pool exit with only his swimnsuit and a pointy stick on his hand while making a strange warcry*

Everyone: :eek:

*Roxy throws a bowling ball at Az's head*

Roxy: Get dressed first!!! :D

Apocrypha Roxy
10th Jun 2003, 21:08
Rox: Listen, Xena, put some clothes on first before you catch a cold and scare the bejeesus out of everyone! -throws bowlingball-

-ThUnK-

Az: :eek: Oh... -ow!-

Lady Kreliana
11th Jun 2003, 00:12
Krel: Actually, Roxy, I think he looks more like one of the kids from Lord of the Flies.

*Az looks at Krel, insulted*

Krel: Sorry, Az. Lets go play Dumahim darts, shall we? *grabs a few spears* heehehehehehehwhahahahahahah, I haven't abyssed anyone in ages. >: ) *continues laughing evilly*

Apocrypha Roxy
12th Jun 2003, 18:57
Krel: OK everyone out of the pool!
Evelin: -whine-
Krel: OUT. We're going Dumahim-hunting...
NC: WOOT! Let me get my shotgu-
Krel: We're using darts.
NC: Darts? :confused:
Krel: Yes. Darts.

-Krel displays HUGE-ASS spears-

NC: OOoohh... darts...
Evelin: What are we waiting for?
Kat: Me! Wait! I didn't finish my martini!

-Rox yanks the martini out of Kat's hand-

Rox: No more hooker drinks! We need to start serving you gin & tonics...
Kat: You always ruin my fun... -hic-
Rox: Let's go!


-Everyone picks up 'darts' and shlepps toward the Sanctuary of the Clans-

resh
12th Jun 2003, 19:08
*appears, singing I am sailing*

Uuuuuu lawt wait fir meeeeeeeeeeeeee

*Passes out*

Evelin The Winged
13th Jun 2003, 16:19
*spot's a dumahim*
Evelin: OOOH!! I wanna smote him with one of my dart's! AIM FOR THE BUNGHOLE! *chases the dumahim who is now running for his life*

Apocrypha Roxy
14th Jun 2003, 02:28
Apocrypha picks up resh and hoists him over her shoulder, and everyone troops toward Sanctuary.

Dumping resh by a gate, and plunking Kat down to keep him and a bottle of Red Label company, Rox and the gang tiptoe down the paths.


Evelin: Sssshhh... be vewy, vewy quiet - we hunting Dumahim!
All: SSHHH!
Evelin: -pout- Ooh I spot one.

Everyone immediately decides to call 'shotgun'. So much for stealth.

All: IT'S MINE! -chase Dumahim-


Naturally, the Dumahim is scared witless. You'd think, what makes a ragtag bunch like us scary?
Well, when you anticipate a demonic, emaciated blue thing with a lightsaber coming out of his arm to eat you, you don't expect... us.


Dumahim: *shriek of utter terror* -runs away-
Us: *howling like indians* -runs after Dumahim-


NC: Man, he'd make a great trophy in my den...
Matt: You have a den?
NC: ... if I don't, then I'm getting one just for the sake of putting that thing on the wall.
Matt: ... yep, sound's cool.


A while later...

Kat: -snacking on Dumahim meat- Mmm it's so tender. Where did you guys get this, again?
Evelin: The local butcher. Very local. -crunch-
Matt: -nods in agreement-
resh: -hic-
NC: Where do we go, now? -pets new wall trophy-
Krel: Big Daddy. -eeevil grin-
All: DUMAH. -eevil grins-

KoolKat_EF
14th Jun 2003, 16:23
Mmmmmmm, much nicer than rodent.

*purrs, cleans paws and reaches for hidden martini*

Rox: Oi you!
Kat: Awww, ok then.
Rox: That's better.

*Resh polishes off a big steak*

Resh: So where's Dumah hiding.
Kat: His territory
Krel: We gonna play darts again?
NC: *evil snikker*
Az: Guess so.
NC: Can I use a shotgun?
Resh: *hic* I'm a sailing... *hic*

Evelin The Winged
20th Jun 2003, 14:06
???: THERE YOU ARE! GIVE ME BACK MY EARRING!
Evelin: Aw, *****, it's Kain!
Krel: You took his earring?!
Evelin: I won it in a poker game!
Kain: NO YOU DIDN'T!
Ev: Yes I did!
Kain: Didn't!
Ev: Did!
Kain: Didn't!
Ev: Did!
Both Ev and Kain: GGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

KoolKat_EF
20th Jun 2003, 21:05
Kat: Ok! Break it up, you two! You can both have an earring.
*holds out two shining, golden hooped earrings*
Kain: *whines* But I want my one.
Evelin: But I won it!
Kain: No you didn't!
*Evelin and Kain leap at each other and attempt to be throttling each other*

Roxy: o_O
Krel: Evelin! Give it back!
Ev: NO!
Kat: O_o

DarkWraith
21st Jun 2003, 13:36
*DW staggers in holding an almost empty bottle of vodka and a lit cigarette*

DW:I've wandered alllllll through thiss townnn and its been sixesss hoursss and I have'not *hic* seen anyone. And here *hic* you all are are without me.

*DW removes his sunglasses*

DW: So what did I miss?

Apocrypha Roxy
21st Jun 2003, 15:23
Rox: Who wants to bet that they'll both be tuckered out before they finish?

-Everyone throws down cash, and DW throws down a pack of Pall Malls-

Rox: -files her nails- Ok guys, sit back and watch.
Resh: -hic-
Krel: Who's up for a game of Pai Gow poker?
All: MEEEE!

Ev: -pokes her head out of the fight cloud- OOH poker!
Kain: -punch-
Ev: OOF! -goes back fighting-

KoolKat_EF
21st Jun 2003, 21:27
*Throws 3 gold earrings into the pile*

Roxy: O_o Where you getting all them earrings from?
Kat: Dunno. I just reach into my pocket and if I want something, I can usually find it in there.
Krel: Cool.
Resh: 'hic' pull out a boottle of vodka?
Kat: Oh no you don't! I wanna see you sober before this adventure ends.

Ev: I'm Winning!!!

*All heads turn immediately*

Kain: No you're not! *thwak*

*both disappear into the cloud of the fight*

Az: Wonder how long this is gonna last?

resh
21st Jun 2003, 22:09
resh: long time i -hic- hope

Av: shut up, grab some Vody if u want

resh: Okay

Kat: I dont think so!

* Kain and Ev battle on *THWACK* *

Ev: Aw resh, don't poke me in the eye with that coktail umbrella

resh: OOo - hic - ur eyes squidgy

* resh collapses and Kain launches upon Ev *

Roxy: Oh well, better get resh outta the way or he'll spew on them and taht could be nasty!

Kat: I'll help

* Kat purrs and follows Roxy *

KoolKat_EF
21st Jun 2003, 22:25
*Kat and Roxy both take Resh by the arms and drag him away*

Resh: Where are we goin?
Kat: Where you can vomit without getting it on anyone.
Roxy: I think this place should be alright.

*Dumps Resh by a large oak tree who laughs,points at an acorn and promptly is sick*

Kat: I'm not cleaning that up.
Roxy: Neither am I.
Krel: Hey you guys, you're missing the fight... oh... o_O
Az: ewwwww!

*In the distance, Evelin appears to thump Kain over the head. The earring falls to the floor and is forgotten as the pair continue fighting. Kat picks it up and purrs.*

Kat: This should go nicely with my collection.
Resh: Why they still fighting?
Roxy: Beats me.

Apocrypha Roxy
22nd Jun 2003, 17:40
Krel: -yawn- Are they done yet? I want to have a go at Dumah...
Az: Not yet, it seems... anyone up for a game of Blackjack?

-everyone raises their hands-

Az: Mmhmm. I'm dealer. Gather 'round, brothers and sisters...

20 min:

NC: I WIN AGAIN!
Krel: How do you keep getting Aces?
NC: The gods are shining upon me... :D
Krel: -sigh- Deal again...

15 min:

Kat: Hit me.

Resh promptly gives Kat a whack on the shoulder.

Kat: What was that for?
Resh: -hic- You said-
Kat: Oh, shut up...

30 min:

Az: This last one gets the cash and the cigs. Ya'll up for this?
All: Yup.
Krel: ... hit me. -picks up- Crap, I'm over...
NC: -giggles- Watch me... hit me. -picks up- OH NOOOOO....NOOOOOO...
Kat: What? You went over?
NC: NOoooo... nonnononononononononooooo....
Rox: NyghtChyld? You ok?
NC: -sob- I got 22... so close...
DW: -sigh-
NC: The gods hate me!

Meanwhile...

Kain: -throws a punch, weakly- Take... that...
Evelin: -slaps slowly- Your... momma...
Kain: -weak hit- What 'bout my momma?
Evelin: -wet noodle punch- Wears... combat boots...
Kain: -staggers- No she don'...
Evelin: Uh-huh...
Kain: Nuh-unh...

Kain and Evelin collapse in a heap and snore.

Rox: Told'ja it would be a tie...
DW: ... HA! 21! I WIN!
NC: -sob-
DW: Oh, suck it up and take it like a man... woman...

Krel: Shall we leave, now?
DW: -scoops up booty- Yup.
Kat: Yay we get to do something fun!
Resh: -hic- I soiled my teeshirt...
Kat: -makes a face- This is why you should stay off the vodka and stick with scotch. You won't get a hangover.
Resh: I'll make... -hic- a mental note of that...

KoolKat_EF
22nd Jun 2003, 18:18
Kat: Sure you can remember the mental note?
Resh: Yeah, just fetch some paracetamol.

*NC gives Resh aspirin*

NC: Here's something.
Resh: Thanx
Krel: So we gonna kill some Dumahim or what?
Roxy: Let's Roll...

Evelin The Winged
23rd Jun 2003, 17:35
*they leave*

Kain: ...are they gone yet?
Ev: Yeah. I can hardly feel thier presence now.
Kain: How 'bout a truce?
Ev: Never.
Kain: Why? We both want that ring back, don't we?
Ev: But we'll end up fighting for it in the end, and they'll start betting again...plus I think your a jerk.
Kain: Hey!
Ev: Hah!

*they start fightin again*

Kain: Hey, THAT'S MY HAIR! WAAAAAA!!! IT TOOK MY 500 YEARS TO GROW THAT PONYTAIL!
Ev: Well you made Razzyboy lose his! *tries to stick her claw in his eye*
Kain: Stop mentioning that!
Ev: But it's the turth. *manages to knock him out and run's to the others*

Apocrypha Roxy
24th Jun 2003, 04:42
The gang slowly trekks toward Dumahim territory, when a scuffle of cloven feet and a heavy pant stop them.

Ev: WAIT UP! -pant- -cough-
Krel: You're alive?
Ev: -cough- Yep.
Krel: How do you feel?
Ev: Peachy keen... -grins-
Az: Are we gonna get Dumah or what?
DW: Yeah, I want to get Nosgoth over with, so we can have a huge party filled with girls popping out of cakes and lots of confetti and bottles of Jack strewn everywhere...

Everyone stares at DW.

DW: -blink-
NC: You and me both, babe... you and me both...
Rox: What about Kain? We need to topple the big guy before we have total dominion over Nosgoth...
Ev: Leave it to me...
Kat: You sure you can do it again?
Ev: It's a dirty job, but I get to do it! And I punch below the belt...

Everyone winces.

Resh: -hic- Cool...
DW: It is NOT cool to get sacked in the goodies, okay?
Az: Just thinking about it makes me cringe...
DW: -shudder-

Rox crosses her arms, taps her foot. Kat frowns.

Kat: We gonna get this done with, or not?
Rox: C'mon! Move it, damn it!

Az: We're comin'!

The group resumes their merry journey... Ooohhhh.....

KoolKat_EF
27th Jun 2003, 19:47
Kat: Sooo, topple Kain first then party or party and then topple him?
Ev: Either way, I'll win again.
Rox: I kinda feel sorry for the guy if you are gonna hit below the belt.
NC: As I said - yeow!
DW: *winces again*
Kat: *frowns* so where to now?

Evelin The Winged
29th Jun 2003, 13:49
Ev: Dunno, but I kicked him in tha cahonies to knock him out last time...is that illegal?

Apocrypha Roxy
29th Jun 2003, 18:43
Not sure if it's legal, but it's damn funny! :D

We're supposed to go to Dumah's stronghold. So let's get crackin'.

Someone write something!!! Don't let this thread sink into the Abyss!

Evelin The Winged
30th Jun 2003, 17:45
*EG tentacle start's to float out of the vortex*
Ev: Uh-oh... *takes out a HUGE ax and cut's the tentacle, causing the EG to scream in pain*
EG: You little blue @#$%!
Ev: Problem solved! Let's go!

Apocrypha Roxy
30th Jun 2003, 22:44
Squiddy's loose end flops around, as Rox grabs Ev by the scruff of the neck and drags her from the impending doom that is mad calamari.

Rox: WE GOTTA GO!
Ev: Eep! :eek:

The ragtag group finally reaches Dumahim territory, and its snowy climes.

DW: I'm cold. Let's go back.
Kat: NOT YET. I want to get rid of Dumah first.
DW: But... I'm really cold! :(
Kat: His stronghold has central heating.
DW: LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO!!!


Alas, everyone shlepps through the gates, eyeing skewered Dumahim in the courtyard.

Ev: You'd think he'd keep a nicer lawn... :rolleyes:

NC: Hey - there's the way to the throne room.
Rox: Will we have to go through that funky pillar puzzle and stuff?
NC: Actually, no. Raziel already cleared the way for us.
Rox: Didn't he already kill Dumah?
NC: No, he took a lunch break.
DW: Mmm, Cup o' Souls... chicken flavor :p

For those who don't get the above reference to chicken and whatnot, go to ff.net and read my questing story. Stupid, but fills in a few gaps.

Finally we make it into the throne room. Lush carpeting, freshly stained with blood. Expensive marble flooring, coated with dinosaur-era dust. Imported furniture, totally busted.
Dumah sure keeps a clean house.

Ev: And I thought the lawn was bad... :eek:

Lady Kreliana
1st Jul 2003, 02:34
Krel: Wow. Uhmmmmm nice place. Sorta. *walks around like an idiot, and explores the throne room.* What's back there? *Opens a door and walks through* Looks like a bedroom.
Dumah: Who's there?
Krel: O_o *S******* Hahahahahah! It's so small! *points*
Dumah: How dare you insult my slugbug!
Krel: Dude, how do you even fit in that thing? Is it made for circus people? *A kitten rubs against Krel* Aww, hi kitty.
Dumah: Mortimer, get away from her! *Mortimer hops into her arms* That's it! *Chases after Krel*

Roxy: Where did that moron run off to? *Sees Krel screaming, running through the room holding Mortimer*
Ev: What an idiot. *Dumah runs in*
Kat: JACKPOT! *Everyone readies their weapons*
Roxy: ...How did he fit into that slugbug?

Apocrypha Roxy
1st Jul 2003, 03:24
Rox: ... more importantly, WTF is a slugbug?

(forgive my ignorance - it's bliss, you know).

Kat: Who cares? -readies MP5-
DW: WTF are you doing with that?!
Kat: ... I was gonna shoot him?
DW: He'll explode into itty bitty Dumah bits!
Kat: ... you mean like Kibbles & Bits?
DW: ... not exactly what I was shooting for, but yeah.
Rox: DW, you get a tea kettle; Kat you get a loofah. I'll get the unabridged hardcover version of War and Peace. We're goin' in!

Krel: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Ev: Hey, a kitty!
Krel: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Mortimer: Meow?
Dumah: Come back here with my kittycat!
Krel: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Evelin The Winged
4th Jul 2003, 10:47
Ev: *open's a portal (I apparently had this ability in a dream I had recently-it was fun!)*
Rox: what's the portal for? *a lot of water comes out of the portal, flooding the intire place*
Ev: *in the water looking at the others hanging on the chandelier* ...well at least I killed 'im.
Krel: Where's the kitty?! THE KITTY?!
Ev: Umm...
DW: I got it!
Ev: Ok. *swim's down and pull's the plug. when the water was gone, Dumah is somehow still alive* You NEVER die, do you?!
Dumah: Not even Kain be is ma' equal!
Ev: OH REALLY?! *prepares to kick him*
Rox: She's gonna do it!
NC: Ho, she better not!
Mortimer: Meow?
Ev: *suddenly ignores Dumah* CUTE KITTY! *_*

KoolKat_EF
4th Jul 2003, 18:42
Kat: Oooh, look at da lovely kitty. Here kitty, kitty, kitty...
Rox: But you are a cat o_O
Kat: Kinda - more of a demon
Ev: *__*
NC: *sighs in relief* She ain't gonna do it. :)

*Ev turns round and kicks Dumah in the family jewels. Everyone cringes and NC faints*

Kat: She did it. *cackles* hehehehe :D
Resh: Hey, you alright, big fella? :confused:
Dumah: *gasping*
Rox: Does he look like he's ok? Wow! :eek:

Evelin The Winged
6th Jul 2003, 16:59
Ev: My god, he is stronger than Kain!:eek:

Apocrypha Roxy
6th Jul 2003, 19:46
Gonads of Steel! :p

Azrael
7th Jul 2003, 01:59
*while everyone is staring Dumah in pain, Az sneaks out of the gang*
Az: Hmm, i wonder whats behind that huge door O.o?
*opens the huge door that leads to the furnace room*
Az:WHOO HOO!! The barbequeue (sp?) room!!!
*runs all over the room to activate the gas*
Az: Ok, who let the farts out? *evil grin*
*prepares the meat and puts it in the center of the room*
Az: All done....now i just need to pull that trigger.
*pulls the trigger....and nothing happens*
Az: Damn, i think that Dumah forgot to pay the fire bill =|. Well, i think i have to do it like the old days.
*grabs 2 sticks*

....5 minutes after.....

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!
Everyone: O_O
DW: What was that?
Ev: I dunno.
Krel: Where's Az?
Roxy: Uh oh.

KoolKat_EF
16th Jul 2003, 19:35
*A char-grilled Azrael crawls from the fire room and collapses on the floor groaning*

Kat: hehehehehehe....
Ev: O_o
Rox: What did you do?
Az: Barbeque.....

chuffy
16th Jul 2003, 20:06
ahoy ahoy,

sorry i'm late everyone i was walking though the snow out-back, and tripped on a pike that was sticking out one of the vamps. stupid things are everywhere. i think i knocked out the gas pipe as well, so if you need...

*looks at Az, looks left then right*
"sorry man my bad"

Apocrypha Roxy
16th Jul 2003, 21:28
Az: -cough- Then knock it back in... -cough-
Ev: What were you doin' in there?
Az: Cookin'
Ev: Cookin' what?
Az: -cough- Ribs. -grin-
Kat: Mmmmmm!!!
Rox: I'm guessing they're well done?
Az: I'm guessing that you're guessing right.
Rox: So I'm guessing that you're guessing that I'm guessing right?
Az: Yes, you're guessing that I'm guessing that you're guessing right.
Rox: I guess so...
Chuffy: Enough with the guessing game. I want ribs.
Kat: RIBS!
Ev: RIBS!
Kat/Ev: RIBS!!!

:D

chuffy
16th Jul 2003, 21:53
chuffy: ya know what we needing, lovey?
Roxy: whats that, alarmingly late and beautiful man?
chuffy: Rum. rum and ribs.

KoolKat_EF
16th Jul 2003, 22:12
Kat: *chuckling* hehehehe, beautiful man... hehehehe
Chuffy: Eh?
Kat: I thought men were referred to as handsome, not beautiful.
Rox: *Shrugs* whatever
Azrael: Queue here for well done ribs.
Ev: Yum, me first or some kicks will be issued.

*All the men back off letting Ev be first in line*

Evelin The Winged
27th Jul 2003, 22:26
Ev: *smiles* Your all so polite!;) *grab's some ribs without looking*
???:Ow!
Ev: :eek:Hehehe...sorry Razzy.
Azrael: Huh?
Raziel: I was in the area. *turn's back to Ev*...I'll be ok if you give me some ribs.
Ev: O_O Ok...*gives him some ribs* Hey, how did you get your jaw back?!
Raziel: ...I grew it back...? Why is that a crime?
Ev: No! No it's not...
Kat: *pokes his jaw* It look's real to me. =/

Apocrypha Roxy
29th Jul 2003, 00:54
Rox: My beautiful man... -hugs chuffy-

Raziel gives me puppy eyes.

Rox: OH my baby, c'mere! -hugs Raz-
Raz: -big grin with his new jaw-

Krel: Is it just me, or is she a very sick little individual?
Kat: HEY! Raziel is a sexpot! And if you say otherwise, you'll have to answer t'ME! -growl-
Krel: :eek: Oh... never questioned Razzy-Boy's sexyness, but...
Kat: Oh. Oh yeah, Roxy's crackers. :)

Rox: -planting kisses on Chuffy and Raz- I HEARD that, co-wife!
Kat: Luv you too... :p

Ev: Mm... ribs...
Resh: Rum?
Ev: No rum. Ribs. -chews-
Chuffy: NO RUM?
Ev: ... well if you want it so damn bad, get some!
Chuffy: -procures some Cap'n Morgan's-
Az: Is anyone gonna kiss the cook?

-Azrael is swamped by kisses-

Az: wow... -blush-
DW: Savor it while you can, you'll never have that many women kiss you that eagerly again.
Az: Aww... can the cook get another kiss?

-Azrael is swamped yet again, with bbq sauce stains on his cheeks-

DW: Guess I was wrong...
Az: :o EVER HEARD OF NAPKINS!?!?

Lady Kreliana
29th Jul 2003, 17:40
Krel: Are you sure polygamy's legal in Nosgoth?

Apocrypha Roxy
29th Jul 2003, 17:46
Whether or not it is, I'm enjoying it!

jesta
29th Jul 2003, 18:57
Kain im sure he could tell you,
After all he does rule Nosgoth after all

chuffy
31st Jul 2003, 13:24
show me the way to Kain's home,
i'm tired and i want to go to bed.
had some rum 'bout a hour ago,
and its gone straight to my head.

hic... are sure the wallpaper matchs the handrail? because the glass is the wrong color for this rum.

*chuffy falls down*

what an intresting floor, wierd the way it falls upwards like that.

Kazael
31st Jul 2003, 16:23
Another fashionably late arrival, Kazael walks in with his good friend Vorador, both of them with a vampire bride on each arm.

Kaz: Of course polygamy is legal in Nosgoth! You da man, big V! Thanks for hooking me up, yo!

Vorador: Naw, dawg, you da man! Thanks for saving me from that guillotine!

Kaz: *plants a kiss on each of his new brides* Well... Let's just call it even. So.... Any of those ribs left?

DarkWraith
31st Jul 2003, 20:38
DW tosses a couple of ribs over to Kaz and throws a bottle of O neg to Vorador. He then walks over to Az and picks him off the floor and puts his friends charred and battered body on a nearby sofa. He then hands Az a tube of burn cream.

EV: where’s Kitty?
DW: oh *****

DW runs into the still burning kitchen and returns with Kitty and a few more BBQ Ribs, a KFC Mega bucket and a side of BBQ Beans.

Everyone stares at DW

DW: What? I had to make a quick stop

Everyone still stares at DW.

DW: ah sod it lets go to the Pillars.

DW picks up Az and walks out the door to his JEEP, places Az in the passenger seat, before jumping in the driving seat, lighting a cigarette.

Moments later everyone else jumps into the back of DW's oversized JEEP and they speed off in the direction of the Pillars.

Apocrypha Roxy
1st Aug 2003, 00:18
Kaz, Az, Raz, Krel, Kat, Jesta, DW, Rox, Ev, Chuffy and Vorador (2 brides included) hop in the van and head towards the Pillars.

Vorador is flanked by his brides, each planting a kiss on his cheeks.

Ev: -makes a face-
Rox: Putanni...
Krel: -chuckle- You just said a bad word...
Rox: But he is...
Chuffy: -just laughs-

DW: -driving- Almost there...
Az: -moan-
Jesta: Is he okay?
Az: Do I look like... I'm okay?
Jesta: Well... no?
DW: Get some more of that blue burn salve on ya...

Mortimer: -purr-
Kat: -purr-
Raz: -purrs with delight after eating a slew of ribs-

Suddenly, a huge whoof of foul air attacks our conquistadors...

Kaz: WHO FARTED?!
Chuffy: Wasn't me! I didn't eat any beans!
Krel: The one who smelt it, dealt it!
Kaz: DUDE! We all smelled it!
Raz: ... well, it's impossible for all of us to fart at the same time...

Evelin gawks at Raziel's side, picks up a now-empty cup of BBQ beans, and points in shock.

Ev: YOU!
Raz: -looks shocked- ME?!
Ev: YOU ATE ALL THE DAMN BEANS!
Kat: Raziel!
Raz: It wasn't me!!!
Chuffy: Man... you really have kickin' gas... oh MAN... -cough-
Raz: I HAVE NO GAS-PRODUCING ORGANS!!!
Rox: Then how do you eat?
Raz: ... magic?
Rox: Fart-ass!
Raz: I swear! I didn't - what the...?

A huge, noxious cloud looms overhead.

All: -jaws drop-
Raz: That damnable squid... IT'S CALLED BEAN-O, TENTACLE BOY!!!

Lady_D
1st Aug 2003, 23:09
AAaalrighty then........