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Dell
27th Nov 2002, 01:44
I got a good laugh out of this, I hope you do, too. It seems I have to relearn my own language . . .

Euphemisms...or 'euphemismus', the insidious infiltration of a distressing tendency to use obfuscating words and terms to describe things.

1. Traffic-calming road insertions...road bumps

2. In-depth interrogation...torture

3. Visual harassment...staring

Especially of interest to the writers here:

4. Unacknowledged repetitions...plagiarism, or

5. Derivative passages...plagiarism, or

6. Inadvertently copying long sections of someone else's work and using it as your own...plagiarism

7. Roster management...eliminating male athletes and adding females

8. Verbal abuse...criticism

9. Linguistic domestic violence...criticism of a wife

10. Abductees in Africa...slaves

11. Tribal Chieftan...non-english speaking leader you admire

12. Warlord...non-english speaking leader you do NOT admire

13. Self-sacrificing freedom fighters...suicide bombers

14. Targeting process error...killed a lot of civilians

15. Tree density reduction...chopping down every tree in sight

Something a lot of us find very familiar:

16. Isolated reflection interval...time out

17. Mandatory discontinued attendance...suspension

18. Cultural genocide...correcting a student's non-standard English

19. Cosmetically saturated...wearing too much makeup

20. Fragrance abuse...wearing too much perfume

21. Olfactory assault...wearing too much perfume

22. Action figures...dolls for boys

23. Spouse equivalent...lover

Now then...what are some of your favorites?

Disorderly Conduct
10th Dec 2002, 18:43
*ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ*
*being pushed awake*
What? It's over?

Booooooooooooring. Your idea of funny is more stale than a plate of salad croutons.:rolleyes:

Dell
12th Dec 2002, 15:11
How sad that one must be able to read in order to appreciate witty humor not based somewhere in the lower depths of the sewer.

And I had so hoped to entertain...

*juggles stale salad croutons while whistling ''Me and my shadow' and tapdancing around the room*

Disorderly Conduct
13th Dec 2002, 02:28
I appriciate witty humor. The point is, this is not humorous.

Here's a euphemism for you since you appriciate "thinking" humor. "Turn the fence screw - go screw a fence."

Dell
13th Dec 2002, 04:11
Excuse me...was that an euphemism or an attempt to make a smutty rejoinder?

I guess you have to BE an euphemism like you are to be able to evaluate them.

Disorderly Conduct
13th Dec 2002, 04:46
Excuse me...was that an euphemism or an attempt to make a smutty rejoinder?

You're the one who was "too good for MENSA." You figure it out.


I guess you have to BE an euphemism like you are to be able to evaluate them.

Hey, is it my fault that the mere mention of my name is a euphemism for "incredibly handsome?"

Dell
13th Dec 2002, 20:33
Prove it! Post a picture of you. Oh? You want one of me? Dream on . . .

http://www.free-cdsoftware.com/i/index.gif

Disorderly Conduct
14th Dec 2002, 06:05
Please woman. Nothing wants to see your mug. Even the mirror takes a shower after it reflects your image out of dirty shame.

Dell
14th Dec 2002, 16:27
Apparently you have neither shower or mirror...people can smell you for blocks if they are unfortunate enough to be downwind when you pass by.

Open sewer drains flinch and pull their putrid puddles closer to avoid the contamination of your presence.

Mouze1
14th Dec 2002, 16:35
Whoa, looks like the ugly fairy has slapped both cheeks of the attitudes here.

Perhaps an isolated reflection interval and mandatory discontued attendance of the subject should be abandoned.

Dell
14th Dec 2002, 16:42
WHAT did you say, Mouze?

http://www.free-cdsoftware.com/i/index.gif

Mouze1
14th Dec 2002, 16:46
Sometimes it is extremely difficult to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person. I know I seldom battle. Had all my wits scared out of me.

Moggraider
14th Dec 2002, 20:51
Sure is good to have things back to normal.

Disorderly Conduct
15th Dec 2002, 06:19
How to argue with Dell...

Worked for me. (http://hugin.sigusr1.org/~pakin/complaint)

Dell
15th Dec 2002, 15:30
WARNING!

Don't click on that link! It is a trap for the unwary. It will plant a nasty DC type virus in your computer and you will forevermore be unable to write a coherent and logical word!

DC, you are the absolute worst!

Dell
15th Dec 2002, 16:11
Oh, by the way. . .

http://d21c.com/AnnesPlace/Winter/HockeyPlayers.gif


"Yeah, and a Merry Christmas to you, too, Disorderly Conduct!"

*hits him up alongside the head with hockey stick*

TiadaghtonDude
15th Dec 2002, 22:33
I have to give Scott Pakin credit. Those random ramblings ARE pretty amusing

Dell
15th Dec 2002, 22:47
Actually, they are pretty appropriate. Consider this:

"If you can go more than a minute without hearing him talk about phallocentrism, you're either deaf, dumb, or in a serious case of denial. It is certainly the height of ironies that M. Conduct's zingers all stem from one, simple, faulty premise -- that the Earth is flat and he rules it."

Couldn't have said it better...and I didn't.

Mouze1
15th Dec 2002, 23:51
A yeah :confused: what she said.

Disorderly Conduct
16th Dec 2002, 04:43
"If you can go more than a minute without hearing him talk about phallocentrism, you're either deaf, dumb, or in a serious case of denial. It is certainly the height of ironies that M. Conduct's zingers all stem from one, simple, faulty premise -- that the Earth is flat and he rules it."

And now the point of all that which made me laugh...


M. Conduct's

M. Conduct's. Ha. Leave it to a MENSA drop out to mess up when filling out the form and put "Mr" where the persons first name should be. You really should STOP trying to insult my intelligence. You're obviously not the brightest penny in the pile yourself Dell.

Dell
16th Dec 2002, 15:17
DC, you are so pathetic. I was doing you the gracious honor of calling you by the honorific of MR. Conduct, trying of course to keep it on a somewhat higher level here.

You remember my battle slogan, I'm sure:

"Always take the high ground in a battle situation. In a verbal duel, take the moral high ground."

Of course, that does pose a problem here seeing as how you have no morals other than those you are slowly learning from me the hard way. Oh well, take your bruises and lumps, loser, and learn.

http://www.free-cdsoftware.com/i/index.gif

Moggraider
21st Dec 2002, 00:52
Happy Holidays, you bastard.

3car
22nd Dec 2002, 07:10
Well-

I'm drinkin' whiskey. :)

Dell
23rd Dec 2002, 04:46
Moggraider, just who were you calling the big B word? Or were you meaning it generically...so that anyone who feels it is aimed at them will squirm a little?

Happy Birthday and Happy Holidays, 3car. And don't fall in that bottle, please.

*Sniffs the air. I must be upwind...don't smell Disorderly Conduct anywhere in the immediate area. Getting hit in the head with a hockey stick must have brought a bit of enlightenment do you think?*

Nightstalker
23rd Dec 2002, 15:39
I think so Dell. Maybe he went back to sleep.

*What is that NOISE?!?!?*

I kinda liked the humor (In the first post). Here is a bit more humor:

What is the definition of a teacher?

...

...

He/She helps you solve problems you would not have without him/her.

Or this one:

School...Hard labor camp

George W. Bush...Non standard warlord

Non standard warlord...English speaking leader some do NOT admire

Sorry about the last one, I just couldn't resist.

Nightstalker.

PS. Dell please check my chapter part soon.

PS 2. It's good to know that things are back to normal here.

PS 3. Mouze: Dell and DC have a long and often violent history behind them.

Nightstalker
23rd Dec 2002, 15:55
About battles:

Sun Tzu said: Know thy enemy and know thy yourself and you can win a battle even with inferior force.

Nightstalker.

Dell
26th Dec 2002, 16:29
Oh indeed we do, Mouse, indeed we do have a long history. It actually dates way back to my first few months at FFVII...or even on the internet...a naive neophyte I was...he and TOSG fell upon me like ravening foul-mouthed wolves. Then, it carried on through another forum, too.

He drops back in occasionally and tries to beat up on me...unsuccessfully these days, as you can see! But he always manages somehow to irritate me...

Mouze1
28th Dec 2002, 02:24
Interesting. I know Dell, have for sometime now.

However I don't know this person refered to as "Disorderly Conduct", or DC if you prefer.:confused:

So if someone could enlighten me as to how I could have a long- standing argument, or dislike for anyone I would surely like to know.:rolleyes:

I was only joking around with Dell in my posts.