View Full Version : Watch What You Say at the Airport

21st Aug 2002, 11:53
The captain has turned on the no joking sign.

In USA Today:

Passenger's question on pilots' sobriety cancels flight
CHARLESTON, W.Va. (AP) — A passenger's unsubstantiated question Thursday about the sobriety of two United Express pilots on a Charleston-to-Washington, D.C., trip canceled the flight and rerouted the passengers.
Yeager Airport Marketing Director Brian Belcher said a woman asked a flight attendant if the two pilots were sober after she had boarded the plane.
Following company policy, the flight attendant called the Dulles, Va., headquarters of parent company Atlantic Coast Airlines. The company's chief pilot instructed the crew to de-board the plane, along with the 12 passengers, so the pilots could take a sobriety test.

Imagine the feelings of the other passengers toward this woman. I thought everyone knew that airports have a no joking section.

21st Aug 2002, 13:06
NEVER EVER make jokes at the air port. EVER.



Whatz His Name
21st Aug 2002, 13:29

21st Aug 2002, 20:10
Security: What's this in your bag?
Dumb passeneger: Oh, nothing. Just a bomb. Ha ha!

Passenger (a few hours later): Um, yes...is this the law firm of Dewey, Cheatam, and Howe? Yes, I need an attorney....

22nd Aug 2002, 03:37
LOL - I was reading in the local paper that a woman's son lost his G.I.Joe toy, because of the two inch plastic gun with it (I am absolutely NOT joking - the toy was confinscated, because of the tiny little 'gun' - they showed a picture of the thing, in a human hand; it was pathetically laughable!!). I can just envision the following scene - a few 'bright' airport security guards, surrounding a 'lethal' G.I. Joe toy.

Security Guard #1: "OH MY GOD!! He's got a gun!! He's got a gun!!"
Security Guard #2: "Drop the gun veeeerrrrry slowly, and put your plastic hands in the air, got it?"
*No response from the doll. (Duh...:p)*
Security Guard #3: "All units, alert - we've got an armed and dangerous suspect in the security terminal. I repeat, this toy is armed and must be considered dangerous! You are to shoot ON SIGHT!!"
Security Guard #4: "Time to kick a little plastic butt..."

:rolleyes: :p (Now, can we all say 'ABSURD'?)

22nd Aug 2002, 03:59
many reasons why I'm glad I fly as little as possible... I was going to say "humanly possible" but since that would be never, and I have flown a few times, it didn't make sense :)

It was a pain when I had to go down to AZ to install a telescope at the start of summer - 8 of us, ALL with laptops, going thru security, and they were doing the take your shoes off thing. can you say waiting awhile...?

22nd Aug 2002, 04:04
Made me laugh because I remembered the scene in the "Airplane" spoof movie where a woman went beserk and there was a long line of passengers taking over the task of settling her down -- with brass knuckles, baseball bats, chains, whatever. This woman is lucky she wasn't in the movie. She wouldn't have survived.

Whatz His Name
22nd Aug 2002, 12:54
LOL... another scene from the movie Airplane.

Passenger 1 in airport: Hi Ted!

Passenger 2 in airport (standing in front of a "NO HIJACKING" sign): Hi Jack!

Security personnel dogpile on top of passenger 2. :D

I love that movie.

22nd Aug 2002, 12:59
A little bit of cold war history for you.

I used to live in west berlin, which was in the middle of east germany. So to travel from democratic west berlin to democratic west germany, you had to go through communist east germany.
At the border, the east german border guards would always ask you if you had (a) any children with you (even if you were the only one in the car) and (b) if you had any weapons with you (even if you were an 80 year old granma).

So, my Uncle was traveling from west berlin to west germany one day, and so had to drive through east germany.
At the border, he was asked the usual dumb questons, and (with a big grin on his face) he answered : "Yeah sure, we have 10 Kalashnikovs in the trunk".

The border guard was not impressed, and my uncle had to park his car nearby so the security personel could search it (you know, the ones without any sense of humor). They took the car apart. I mean litterally. Only after four or five hours of searching the car, they allowed him to continue his journey.

22nd Aug 2002, 13:09
Isn't it AMAZING how the only ones who seem to be able to get the guard jobs are the most humorless people around?

Whatz His Name
22nd Aug 2002, 16:46
The next time a cop pulls you over and instructs you to walk the white line. Get out of the car on your hands and knees and try to sniff the line. See if he has a sense of humor. :D

22nd Aug 2002, 19:16
Actually, watch what you say anytime. My dear old mom used to say:
"Don't let your mouth write a check your body can't cash!"

22nd Aug 2002, 19:58
Actually, it's worse at the airport. Zero tolerance, and I'm sure that everyone on earth can see why. Well, 99.9999 percent, anyway, except for this woman, and the few people who keep running through security checkpoints. :)