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View Full Version : A Letter From 47...



DoughMaster5000
6th Dec 2016, 02:57
Dear Diana,

I have thoroughly enjoyed my work for ICA this season however I am yet to be paid? I am wishing to purchase a new bird but my funds are running low, along with my self-esteem as I don't feel like a real Hitman without being paid :( Also in the past ICA generously allowed me to purchase upgrades for my weapons with my hard earned dollars, it would be great to once again take control of my arsenal of death. Perhaps these issues could be looked at whilst I am away bird shopping over the Christmas break. I look forward to resuming my career with ICA in the New Year.

Kind Regards,

47

P.S Have you seen my briefcase? I seem to have misplaced it.

jimbianco
10th Dec 2016, 04:15
Dear 47,
It's nice to hear from you, but your creators were too lazy to implement a money system (even though I say "the money has been wired to your account"), and couldn't figure out how to get the briefcase from flying up in the air. I know the pros over at Rockstar would have taken care of these issues with no problem, but we here at the ICA are more interested in useless leaderboards (which we have to keep resetting every couple of weeks because of glitches). Don't worry, 47. We will be keeping you busy grinding through idiotic escalation contracts to unlock such exciting items as.... well.. nothing. But more explosive ducks are on the way, and maybe some of them will actually have sound.... maybe not. Hell we don't even care any more! Season's greetings 47, and remember to stick to your script that we have laid out for you. And don't bother to learn any more languages. We've given up on putting you in an immersive environment.