View Full Version : Shot in the um.....

12th Jul 2002, 08:38
As Lara is running away from the men chasing her, she hears several shots. Feeling she'd just been hit, She rolls down the side of the hill in pain and agony. Laying on the ground quietly as not to make the men aware she is still alive she notices out of the corner of her eye a small cave opening, When she hears the men walk away, she quietly makes her way into the cave. Lara sees nobody around and checks to see where she was shot. She is shocked to find blood running down one of her cheeks. She takes her jacket out of her backpack, ties it around her rear end and stops the bleeding.....

Eventually Lara returns home and when Hilary see's what happens he quickly calls the doctor. Lara is check up and is resting in bed, on her side. I visit Lara I must say I'm shocked, I can't stop laughing not at dearest Lara but at where she was shot. She says to me, "it's not funny, it bloody hurts" looking very sad with those big brown eyes of hers. I say patting her on the back and giving her a little friendly hug, "I know you poor thing". Bryce comes in from the trailer after hearing what happened, at first he tries to hold in his laughter but the situation gets the better of him and he can't help himself. As he's leaving he says "Sorry Lara, but I have to go". All you hear is Bryce's laughter as he goes back to his trailer. I sit by Lara's bedside chatting to her when she is awake. The pain killers make her very sleepy so she sleeps alot. As time goes by more friends come to visit her....

continue story
Sorry didn't mean to make it so long.

12th Jul 2002, 23:36
One of her dearest friends is the Canadian "killer machine" Jack Slater. He's a nice guy, almost constantly wearing those sunglasses (even if it rains) and always cool as refrigerator, he doesn't say anything when entering the house (he never says a lot) and simply gives me a friendly nod.
"Lara's been shot." I say ... at first with a smile on my face; still because of the place where she was shot, but when I see that mean, serious typical Jack Slater-look, my smile fades away like snow for sunshine. "Is that so?" says he with a rough almost -Joe Cocker 'With a little help from my friends'- kinda voice. "Where?" he asks me.
"Well", I reply, "she was actually shot in her ..."
"No!" he interrupts me, "where is she?"
"Oh, she's asleep!"
No reply from Jack, but the silence was quickly broken by our dearest Lara who replied: "Not anymore, I am!"
She looked very beautiful as always ... stylish but hot! Cute but quite dangerous.
"Jack Slater." she said with one of the most beautiful smiles I had ever seen on her face, "What brings you to my mansion?" And what she did next made me even more jealous of him. It was already bad enough that he looked so cool, wearing those shiny guns on each hip, looking like an equally magnificent adventurer as Lara Croft herself, but that she kissed him!! And in front of me!! I stood there like a guy selling dead fish in the rain!!

At that moment, Bryce left his trailer for the second time but seeing what occured between Lara and Jack made him turn around quickly enough to forget the whole thing. Later on, I would hear from Lara herself that Jack had been her only "true" lover: a great adventurer ... and, I quote: "As good-looking as Brad Pitt and as sexy as Jon Bon Jovi."

Fortunately, the romance didn't last too long. Jack Slater didn't just come to see her again, he had also brought bad news with him. "Does the name Jacqueline Natla ring a bell?"
At first Lara Croft thought it was a joke or a tease, but eventually she noticed Jack's seriousness and replied: "I killed her back in '96 ... twice!"
Jack smiled almost like evil had taken control of him and said (again) with that deep, rough voice:" Third time, lucky then. You're gonna have to kill her once more. She's very much alive ... and even more kicking; I can assure you."

Apparantly, Jacqueline Natla had survived Lara's attack(s) on her and to get even with her like never before, she had started up her own gang ... a squad of very well-trained all-female gymnastic-killer babes. "And they sure look as nice as you do, my sweet Lara." he laughed again.
Lara took him by the wrist, gave it a mean, little twist and said:" Well, then I sure-as hell-am not going to let you in on my little escapade; am I now?"
"Aaaaahh, you're hurting me, Lara!"
Well, obviously Jack wasn't as tough as he was cool.
She let go of his wrist and while she turned her back on him, he said he wanted to join her and wanted to do this thing seriously. She agreed on this ... knowing how hard it was going to be to defeat Natla again; especially now that she had an army of herself with well-trained soldiers; probably even deadlier than those aliens of a few years back.
"What's our first move?" Jack asked cautiously and followed her to the kitchen where her butler was doing the dishes while listening to the latest album of Metallica ... a great rock song called:" Don't mess with the butler!" which Jack could hear very clearly through the ears of the head phone Hillary was wearing.

Continue story ...

6th Oct 2002, 16:12
Anyone? :(

6th Oct 2002, 20:59
Im taking my usual walk in the country when i decide to drop in on Lara.

When i get close to the mansion, i hear my old friend Bryce screaming at the top of his lungs:

Bryce: No! Cant belive it!

I burst into the trailer.


Bryce: I tore my pants!

Me:You....you tore your pants?

Bryce: hehe, Yea, i tore my pants.

Me: hehe

Bryce: i guess hehe, i gues im really in trouble now, huh? HAHAHA!


Me: Anyway, hehe, its good to see ya again bryce.

Bryce: You too, heheh

Bryce: What brings you here?

Me: I was in the neighborhood, deicided to drop in.

Bryce:Thats cool. Speaking of cool, you know Jack Slater?

Me: hehe, yea he flew with me in the navy, what about him?

Bryce: Hes here.

Me: Alright, anyway whats up?

Bryce: Nothing, but what you find in the house may be... behind you. HAHAHHA!

I leave the trailer and bust open the mansion door without knocking, my traditional entrance.

Me: HI!!!!!

6th Oct 2002, 22:35
DoX being already in the Croft Manor s******ing at Godfather's stunned face when Slater kissed lara. I hear the door burst open and see Dgx there.

DoX; Hello! so hows raiding been going?

Dgx takes a long swif from is cigarette: Fine just Fine. And Lara?

DoX laughs silenty again: In the bedroom..she was shot in arse..HAHAHAHA

Dgx and DoX laugh Godfather walks in through the door a rather puzzled look on his face.

DoX: *s******s* Godfather whats wrong..lost another woman?

Godfather glares at DoX, It hurts him a lot to lose the only woman he truly loved.

GF: :rolleyes:

DgX, Godfather, and DoX have a silent conversation on laras..mishap..

(@ Thanhkim: we are gonna do some rading correct? ;) )

7th Oct 2002, 08:22
*end of commercial break*
Bart dropped to one knee as soon as he heard the noise.
Wiggum had found him!
Stock still, Bart listened intently for a giveaway sign of where the portly cop was now.....but Wiggum must have realised his error and the ancient house fell into silence again.
Damn him, he's good! he thought.

Bart dropped to his stomach, sliding the Beretta out from his belt as he slid silently across the floor. There was a hole in the floorboards ahead, and he peered down through them.
Wiggum was directly beneath him....

(A fine trail of dust filtered down to Wiggum's shoulder...he noticed but didn't react. Upstairs, huh?)

Bart lost sight of the cop as he moved out of the limited eyeline afforded him by the floorboard peep-hole. He slowly backed against the wall, wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead.
The recent memory of his breakdown came to the fore-front of his senses again...the realisation he hadn't aged a day in 11 years.... that his father was a buffoon with abusive tendencies, his mother's constant whining, Lisa's mocking of his intellect....they had all deserved to die.

And he thought he could get away with it too! Who knew Wiggum actually did have an ounce of sense? As Maggie had covered his escape with the shotun, he had made his way into Shelbyville, and into this abandoned Colonial house.

Another creak to his left!
He swung the gun around to the noise, realising a split second too late that the cop had diverted him. The stone seemed to bounce in slow-motion as he registered the door to his right opening!
Using his momentum he rolled, avoiding Wiggum's first shot, but the second tore into his left thigh. He winced at the burning pain, a lucky shot, but he continued to roll, and then levelled the gun at the figure filling the door frame.
His first shot ripped through Wiggum's forearm, sending his revolver flying, and the second took away most of his face as he fell.

Enough stopping power to fell a Rhino indeed, Bart grinned through the pain.
Next stop - Rio.

He cursed himself...would the torment from his father never end?

7th Oct 2002, 11:09
Pretty interesting stuff although I don't have a clue where that came from. Does this mean that we aren't supposed to continue the Lara Croft-story which was soo interesting and that we have to continue this well-written but unexpected Simpson-story? Not that I mind, but I would just like to know since we have two different stories in the running now. :(

THE True Lara
7th Oct 2002, 11:18
Smacks hand to forhead for second time in 10mins over one of Godfather's posts.
If you've missed the point just accept Dave for the genius he is and carry on in your own little world.
Pulls out own shot gun...
if I were you though, I'd start running :D

7th Oct 2002, 12:39
Originally posted by THE True Lara
Smacks hand to forhead for second time in 10mins over one of Godfather's posts.
What was the first time that I made you smack your own forhead? :D

If you've missed the point just accept Dave for the genius he is. If I were you though, I'd start running :D

Dave a genius??!! Whaahahahahahahahhaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! http://www.gamers-forums.com/smilies/contrib/blackeye/lol.gif http://smilies.uniquehardware.co.uk/otn/realhappy/xxrotflmao.gifI'm sorry DaveJ; I really am. You're a great guy, but you are as much a genius as Roxette is more famous than U2 in England ... NOT! (I know you'll agree with me; especially on that last part) :D

Now ... if you wanna prove to me that; by confusing me like you did; this was indeed a very clever step ... then tell me why on earth you wrote two totally different posts of which the last one had absolutely nothing to do with the entire topic started up by thanhkim ... please! :)

I mean: just when it became very interesting you ruin it (I think) by talking about the Simpsons. :(

*it's possible that The True Lara is going to smack her forhead again when she read this. :p

7th Oct 2002, 12:45
The Point.


Distance between the two?
Several thousand miles.

I don't think so, but my psychiatrist says differently. ;)

And I'm not the one whos confused all of a sudden, am I?
Its very simple...you'll work it out.

7th Oct 2002, 12:55
AHA! So you did ruin this once-so-interesting-Lara Croft-story. :mad: :(

Anyway, I noticed that you and The True Lara are both from England. Well, it's gotta be something typical English then that no foreigner understands. ;) :p

7th Oct 2002, 12:56
Originally posted by DaveJ

More like: game - set - match! :p

7th Oct 2002, 12:59
Another one missed, more like.
2-0 to me.
Don't feel too bad.....

THE True Lara
7th Oct 2002, 13:01
Stop it Godfather, my forhead is really beginning to hurt now!


7th Oct 2002, 13:05
Its very rare to find a book that exclusively follows one character, and one line of narrative without changing once.

There are sub-plots, characters in other locations, intertwining strands of plot elements.....
I was telling a different part of the same story...one in which Bart and Lara are destined to meet in Rio (following the 'shot in the...' analogy).

If you were capable of non-linear thought you might have taken up this plot point without prompting, earning Eidos Kudos....but noooo....you had to go the whole "I am not understanding....is not in my diction" comedy stooge route.
Shame on you.
You have shamed your nation too.
And all of its chocolate.

7th Oct 2002, 13:49
You're not gonna believe this, but I just saw the title of this post and I went like: OH, MY GOD!!!!!! BUT OF COURSE!!! DAVEJ WAS TELLING THE SAME STORY BUT JUST OF A DIFFERENT PLACE WITH OTHER CHARACTERS WHO WOULD ALL MEET EACH OTHER IN SOME WAY!!

I know you're not gonna believe that, but it's the God-honest truth! I swear on my obsession of Lara Croft (i've never done this for anyone, so now you gotta believe me!) :D

Ok, so the tables have turned since it was ME who ruined everything. :(

Oh, well ... let's just start all over with what we got so far in a different and new thread!

DaveJ, I truly apologize! I've always been slow but now I even surprise myself (it's gotta be due to the fact that I'm doing this at work and due to my very annoying, upcoming flue, you know!)

Click here for the continuation of the story ...


sorry for the confusing again, dear friends! :(

8th Oct 2002, 07:27
I have some moon-rock here, if anyones interested?