View Full Version : Funny emails

7th Jul 2002, 19:09
I guess most everyone here has received a hilarious email some time... so what are yours? I'll just start with one I got today...

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Date: Sat, 06 Jul 2002 09:03:14 PDT
From: Laura Hanson <editor-0029@cancun.rbexpress.org>
To: Hans Bauer <dgamazeroth@t-online.de>
Subject: Unhappy with your Breast size?
Precedence: bulk

======> Enlarge Your Breasts!

Click Here:


* No Surgery

* Totally Natural

* Effective!

Click Here:


You are receiving this email because you registered

at one of RB Express's partner sites, and agreed

to receive gifts and special offers that may be of

interest to you. If you do not want to receive special

offers in the future, please email

unsub-ms@cancun.rbexpress.org with your email

address in the subject line.

You are subscribed as: dgamazeroth@t-online.de.

7th Jul 2002, 20:37
What?!? You liar! And here I was thinking that you are a man :p

7th Jul 2002, 21:18
Wow! And I thought those Viagra ads were for Dad and just coming to me by accident! Oh Lordy!:eek:

7th Jul 2002, 21:29

Shouldn't that rather please you Arkron... seeing as I'm visiting you during summer break muahaha

7th Jul 2002, 21:51
Someone explain this one for me:

You cannot reply to this message via email because you have chosen not
to disclose your email address to the group.

To reply: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thehappyhookers/post?act=reply&messageNum=1237

and the link took you right there, and with no problems you could reply from there....with an email.

7th Jul 2002, 23:32
You are receiving this email because you registered

at one of RB Express's partner sites, and agreed

to receive gifts and special offers that may be of

interest to you.

Never knew you'd actually subscribe to such a company, Amazeroth :p
That about shows who you really are :D

8th Jul 2002, 13:17
All right! This was in my mail a few minutes ago. Something for everyone in this one! I print the entire thing so you can tell it isn't a hoax I dreamed up! Click on it at your own risk!

Subj: Increase Your Sex Appeal Instantly! *100% Guaranteed*
Date: 08/07/2002 13:11:32 GMT Daylight Time
From: weekendfun1461@yourbigvote.com (Love)
To: alphafemaleblue@aol.com

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To unsubscribe from the YourBigVote special offers, simply click the link below:
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Subject: Increase Your Sex Appeal Instantly! *100% Guaranteed*
From: Love Life<weekendfun1461@yourbigvote.com>
To: alphafemaleblue@aol.com
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Date: Mon, 8 Jul 2002 06:07:02 -0500
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8th Jul 2002, 20:31
Heh... I don't even know who those RB Express guys are and what exactly they're doing... heck, I don't know if I'd even want to know...
Those -insert anything connected to sexuality, especially porn tho- ads can be pretty damn annoying... thank God my email address doesn't seem to have been sent to any such distributor yet... (in other words thank God I don't use AOL hehe).
Ayway my bro recently got a really... and I mean *really* weird and kinda scary email... almost too scary to post it here... it's about some dictator's wife's personal doctor searching for some company willing to store some 50 million dollar the wife could save from her frozen accounts ROFL

8th Jul 2002, 22:13
I made a big mistake 3 years ago, when I failed to unclick some 'special offers' when creating my haotmail account. Now, I get at least 60 spam mails per day. I've given up trying to get myself of the lists. It seems that for every list I resign to, I'm added to 3 others. Perhaps I'll make an email switch sometime.

9th Jul 2002, 13:33
I thought these special offers were disabled on default? :)

9th Jul 2002, 21:38
They weren't when I git my account

Goku Noble Warrior
9th Jul 2002, 22:07
I sill thin k the funniest email I got was the one with the header

"Real Drugs Real Cheap!!!!!!"

You clicked on it and it was for an online pharmecuatical company.

10th Jul 2002, 03:03
I never get spam at my real address :-D.

However, my hotmail account recieves a considerable amount of spam. I never open it, just delete it right away . . . but I know I've gotten several of those viagra ads, get rich quick ads, drug ads, and porn site ads.

I seem to get a lot of messages from 'bigbang.com', whoever the he11 they are. I guess one of the free programs I 'registered' under that account signed me up with that site.

10th Jul 2002, 11:46
I hate spam. Lately spam has been getting into my Homechoice and Hotmail account. It wassent as bad as my Btinternet account though. When I came back from a two week holiday once there was like 300 spam messages waiting. Heh oh well.

I wish they would ban spam damnit...

10th Jul 2002, 17:34
You hate spam? That's rich.

11th Jul 2002, 04:16
I used to have a spam free e-mail, till one day when I started getting about 10 e-mails a day about raping farm animals!

11th Jul 2002, 14:20
I assume I can find a lot of such funny emails in my mailbox, which is swimming in spam mail...

but the drain was open.

11th Jul 2002, 19:00
That's probably cos you use such sucky providers as Hotmail or AOL *g*
714 KB max attachment size... rofl
Hehe sorry I just can't seem to get how it is that so many people use hotmail.

11th Jul 2002, 21:26
Actually that is 512 KB Amazeroth.. 714 KB was the size of the map I wanted to send you ;)

12th Jul 2002, 17:03
At first Hotmail had a maximum upload of 1 mb...Too bad its decreased to a half :(

Worldmailer had 3,5 mb upload...But now the service is down due to their plans to let people pay for their mailaccount :(

14th Jul 2002, 11:26
I have to post this...really I find it hysterical and a slice of real life among women.

First, we have a group of women who form an online group of ladies who are interested in crocheting...a handcraft done with thread and a hook. So far, so good. They make lace and doilies and afghans and stuff like that, for those of you who haven't a clue.

Then, thinking how "cute" the name would be, they call themselves "The Happy Hookers"!

Yup, "The Happy Hookers"! Are you grinning yet? I am.

Things go well, and they exchange patter and patterns...until they begin to get porn mail addressed to who else but "The Happy Hookers." Thus begins the flap and flutter in the proverbial henhouse..or Happy Hooker's Forum.

The following are just a couple of emails as these totally helpless females try to figure out why this is happening, and what to do about it.

You got any suggestions? :rolleyes:

" Subj: Re: [The Happy Hookers] and the moderator is......./Dee.
Date: Sun, 14 Jul 2002 05:56:14 British Summer Time
From: "Dee" <deenamccauley@yahoo.com>
To: <thehappyhookers@yahoogroups.com>


I certainly wasn't knocking the name....and I think I did point that out....I just know that people look for reasons to add their crap/porn to sites....and lets face it "the happy hooker" can have another meanings.

I like the name too.....all I was trying to do was point out that that COULD be part of the reason we have all this stuff in the files. But that part is easily fixed if the moderator goes into there and just deletes it.
Mom to a great bunch of kids
Seth + Janessa = Shiah (grand), Shawn, Patrick & Alysia
Life is nothing like the brochure.

----- Original Message -----
From: janiegirl65
To: thehappyhookers@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Friday, July 12, 2002 3:06 PM
Subject: Re: [The Happy Hookers] and the moderator is......./Dee.

I'm new to the group - and I like the name - AND I wanted to tell you that the name isn't the only attraction for those weirdos who like to offend - we got rude, foulmouthed people occasionally on the other lists I belong to, and the moderator just had to block them.

Same on some other forums - I wouldn't have a clue how to be a
moderator, nor the time since my computer access is limited
to "stolen" time at work :) Maybe the only step needed would be to make the messages accessible
to members only...

In thehappyhookers@y..., "Lynn Marie" <kbl@c...> wrote:

I was going to mention that about the name of the group....but
thought I best not. But even if the moderator does not delete the group......you all can start your own group, and just leave thehappyhookers, just press that button "leave group" and go on with another one.....the happy hookers will still be listed but it won't have members. I am willing to help out in anyway I can also.

Lynn South Carolina

----- Original Message -----
From: "Dee" <deenamccauley@y...>
To: <thehappyhookers@y...>
Sent: Thursday, July 11, 2002 11:33 AM
Subject: [The Happy Hookers] and the moderator is........

Just my humble opinion.....but possibly the name of this
group..."the happy hookers" is part of the reason we are getting
porn...etc...on the files.
Now we all know it's just a cute name,....but others just read it
and think other things....I have been through the members list and I see no listing for the moderator....so unless she/he comes forward we cannot delete these things...
Even if the moderator doesn't want to be responsible for
this.....she could add another person or two to do it....
Or like someone else has suggested.....another group is
started.... It most likely does not have to have every e-mail monitored because that is a lot of work....but whomever moderates.....needs to check the files often and delete all the offending material.
I would suggest a different name though too so that we do not
attract this kind of people...
I am more than willing to help.....just let me know...
I think it was Gina who said she would start a group.....Gina...let me know if you would like help.
Deena Mom to a great bunch of kids
Seth + Janessa = Shiah (grand), Shawn, Patrick & Alysia
Life is nothing like the brochure.

----- Original Message -----
From: Susie
To: thehappyhookers@y...
Sent: Wednesday, July 10, 2002 6:45 PM
Subject: Re: [The Happy Hookers] and the moderator is........

I wouldn't mail anyone that posted that stuff cuz then they
would have your e-mail and can send that stuff to your box directly. Be really careful OK?????

----- Original Message -----
From: "CattF" <cattf@y...>
To: <thehappyhookers@y...>
Sent: Wednesday, July 10, 2002 3:11 PM
Subject: [The Happy Hookers]

and the moderator is........leescheffie but their email is not disclosed so... that means we must im them and hope they respond?

Do you think they will ever figure it out? :confused:

19th Jul 2002, 12:40
What annoys me is that I seem to be signed up to a fortnightly subscription for this:




to opt out click reply you will be removed instantly


I'm not stupid enough to try and reply to this email. All I'll be doing is confirming that my email is infact an active account so that they can sign me up for more crap. What worries me is that the other day I got this

Dear fellow marketer:

A few months back I joined a program and then...promptly forgot
about it. You may have done this yourself sometime...you intend
to work the program but then get caught in your day-to-day
activities and it's soon forgotten.

The program was free to join so maybe I just didn't take it very

Anyway, near the end of May I received a letter from my
sponsor informing me that I had more than 2000
PAID members in my downline!

As you can imagine, I was very skeptical. After all, how could I
have more than 2000 paid members under me in a program that I had
never promoted?

I took the time to check out the site...then wrote to him asking
for confirmation that these were paid members and not just free
sign-ups...like me :)

Well, it was true...I had 2365 paid members in my downline. This
in a program that I had never worked!

All I had to do was upgrade to a paid membership before the end
of the month and I would have my position locked in and a
downline of 2365 people.

You can bet I wasted no time in getting my membership upgraded!
I can tell you, if I had known what was happening with this
program, I would have become an active paid member months ago!
With this program, you will get a HUGE downline of PAID MEMBERS .
My sponsor's check, which is a minimum of $5,000, arrives every
month...on time.

How would you like to lock your position in FREE while you check
out this opportunity and watch your downline grow?

Just join Post Launch by Clicking Here:
and completing the form at the bottom of the page.

We will confirm your position and send you a special report
as soon as possible, also Your Free Member Number.

This is a ONE TIME mailing - your name is already on our exclude list.

I'll get you entered and let you know how you can
keep track of your growing downline.

That's all there's to it. No obligation. No risk. Do it Now!
Just go to: http://www.tnt-hosting.com/88z

I'll then send you info, and you can make up your own mind.

Warm regards.

ameriratr^kgen(pb(amThe problem with this one is that it is completely out of sync with the others, so my email is slowly spreading. What's worse is that this is an ISP account! (It is my fault however, I foolishly used my real email to sign up for a few things. I have a completely unspammed yahoo account because I was more careful)

I still have 4 more email addy's on offer from my ISP, so if things as bad as one a day, then I'll switch over to a new email account...

19th Jul 2002, 22:53
I was away for 36 hours...

121 junk messages were waiting for me in Hotmail junk mail box.


I've set it to be 'exclusive' right now, otherwise about 70 would've been in my Inbox. But still....

I'm coming pretty close to ditching my hotmail address... if not because of some of my old friends still using it. Heck, I even put hotmail as my resume's email address...

20th Jul 2002, 09:01
I have the same problem as you Vak.. I was gone for the last 48 hours and 189 (!) mails were just waiting to be deleted. I'm currently considering to get another temporary email address, let my current one die (as in, not logging on), and after 3-4 months, I recreate the account.

Does that seem viable?

20th Jul 2002, 11:34
I hate these emails...In one hour I got about 9 of these junkmails, and the number is growing every day. I dont have that Hotmail filter enabled, because normal mails from friends could be put away in the Junk folder too.

I'll go check my email now....
Yeah as I expected, 15 new mails, 14 of them are crap:
"Finally, affordable life insurance"
"Hey she took my nut hard!! 4668uKNF7-855CmHJ2... "


Last week an ISP (XS4ALL) sued Ab Fab (A company which spreads mails to mail accounts of XS4ALL) for burdening the XS4ALL network with unwanted emails. And XS4ALL didn't win the case! :(