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View Full Version : The Story for TR10 - watch out Rhianna Pratchett, this Amateur got a Better Idea



daventry
7th Oct 2013, 12:02
Did you guys like the Story of TR9 or should we get a New Storywriter, why dont you guys come up with a Story of your own.

Do you prefer Lara helping Friends and be Emotional, or do you want her to be Alone and be a Tomb Raider

Heres My Story so far...


Many of us thought that the Green Necklace was going to be part of TR9 so now it left a wide open question as to the Importance of it for TR10 or its just a pretty thing Lara found when she was 5 and has no insignificant value.

The Opening of TR2 where we see a little girl digging in the dirt, then we see the hands finding something green and shiny.

The Camera pans to the Necklace while fuzzing the face and making the face normal where we realize its 5 Year Old Lara.

The Little Girl rushes in her Penguin Pajamas past the digging men towards the Tent, where we see Roth and Lara's Father.

Lara: Look what i found
Roth: What have you got there girl
Lara: Its a Necklace i dig up, can i keep it Daddy.
Richard James Croft: Ofcourse Sweetheart and remember that whatever you dig up, makes you a Tomb Raider.
Lara: Thanks Daddy and Hugs her Father.

The Camera blanks with the TR2 Title and 20 Years later where we see Lara twirling the Necklace and studying a Book about it in her Croft Mansion.

She finds a Clue and the Scene jumps to a Plane where Lara goes to a place somewhere in the world and we Start the Game with Lara at a Jungle area near a Temple.


Theres also a Hint when finding all the GPS Caches in TR9 you get a Mysterious Note about something called: Trinity and the Star Phenomenom, maybe the Necklace and this Group could be Connected.

Chocolate_shake
7th Oct 2013, 13:35
Did they confirm Rhianna is coming back to write the story ? :confused:

Anyways the next game would focus on the Star phenomenon and a mysterious organsiation called Trinity . Your story should include that ;)

pirate1802
7th Oct 2013, 13:49
I want Lara to be more emotional, whiny and crying all the time in TR10

daventry
7th Oct 2013, 14:03
Are you Trolling my Thread now. :scratch:

pirate1802
7th Oct 2013, 14:16
No, just trying to point out that you don't need to be an emotionless machine to be a tomb raider. Or being emotional doesn't make you unqualified for being a tomb raider. You can be crying and still be strong. You can cower from enemies and still be courageous. Its a false dilemma. In other franchises people lambaste protagonists for not being emotional enough (see Connor in AC3) But over here being emotional is treated as some kind of dirty word. A little tired of seeing that, that's all. And since I had no problem with her whining and crying, I won't have any problem if they do heed my wish and make her more whiny ;)

Metalrocks
7th Oct 2013, 14:26
never really gave it a clear thought.
i personally would like to see lara having a relationship with sam and both of them are going on adventures together. but yes, i know, its going to happen :(

the location could be somewhere in peru or in the amazon jungle and lara wanted to figure out a mystery that has been bugging her for ages.
or trying to finish of her fathers work.
also, lara should be still emotional but a bit more confident about being in danger. also, she cares about her friends, especially sam, and finds some time for them but still doenst give up on her hobby.

i know, not very clear about the story but thats just my very ruff idea how the next game should progress.

daventry
7th Oct 2013, 14:28
Big difference when it comes to Video Games and Movies, People like to play Games and Relax, whereas they can go to the Movies and sit there with a box of tissues.

Sadly, Gaming Industries try to Hollywood Video Games more so you rather Watch the Boss Ending instead of playing it.

Ive seen enough of Lara's Parents to make me pull off my ears and poke out my eyes when we have to go find her Parents Again, ENOUGH ALREADY.

No need for Video Game Relationships and Emotions or being Gay or Straight, leave it on TV or in the Movies.

Lara Croft and Tomb Raiding isent about her Caring about her Friends or having a Relationship as if you are playing a SIMS Game, its about Lara in the World trying to find the Relic and Kill every Idiot with a Coconut that says i will Rule the World

pirate1802
7th Oct 2013, 14:34
Yeah and in my humble opinion, duke nukem type "cool" badasses belong to the past where they should be. Videogame protagonists becoming more emotional is a good thing in my opinion. So Lara cries and breaks down. Elizabeth cries too. Booker appears to be a whiny (by tr fan's standards) wreck. So does Ellie at a point. Nilin starts off as a weak prisoner, and keeps pondering over stuff throughout the game. Good job. I'd rather have this Lara than an "oh look at me I'm so cool and badass and all" Lara.

The final boss was the Oni by the way, not Mathias.

Metalrocks
7th Oct 2013, 14:39
agreed that protagonists should be emotional. it doenst ruin any gaming experience (unless it has more cutscenes then gameplay). seeing lara crying was a great step and you also feel more for her then just a simple kick ass hero like duke or serious sam.

daventry
7th Oct 2013, 14:39
So you prefer the Trilogy then the Classics and i dont care who the Final Boss was, i want to Kill the Main Antagonist, the one who was holding everyone on the Island, Himiko, thats what i Paid the Game for.

pirate1802
7th Oct 2013, 14:49
What does it matter what I prefer? But yes in general I prefer emotional protagonists that cool and badass unemotional protags. I guess this is the part where you say I'm not a "true" fan? Yes I did play the older games but I was not a fan of the old Lara by any stretch. She and the games were just another game for me. New Lara ftw.

I thought you meant Mathias, yeah fighting Himiko would have been cool but not a deal breaker for me. I don't even like boss battles that much and feel most games tack boss battles on just because they gotta have one. Hurr durr we need to have a boss battle! Given the realistic nature of the game I doubted if we were gonna fight Himiko anyway. I bought the game to go on an epic adventure with Lara and I got that.

Rai
7th Oct 2013, 15:17
Did you guys like the Story of TR9 or should we get a New Storywriter, why dont you guys come up with a Story of your own.

Do you prefer Lara helping Friends and be Emotional, or do you want her to be Alone and be a Tomb Raider

I liked TR'13's story overall and I felt Rhianna did a fine job. However, Crystal had a basic story in place before they hired her. How much say she had in changing it, forming it and finalising it as we saw it, I don't know to be precise. I'd like her to return, perhaps from the beginning process this time, see if the structure overall turns out better.

Having an emotional protagonist is not synonymous to helping/saving friends. However, having non enemy characters can help to broaden both the plot and the protagonist's emotional side. Even CoreLara had a friend in TR4. She went to Jean Yves for help and followed his advice about the armour. There were only a few brief scenes with him, but it was a nice touch that showed that Ice Queen Lara had a softer side.

How about an emotionally rounded Lara still having a main mission that doesn't involve friends? As much as I didn't mind the saving Sam plot in TR'13, I'd rather not have that again. Maybe if Lara takes anyone with her, they'd only ever be on the sidelines. Being a Tomb Raider does not have to imply Lara has to be emotional-less. She needs to be focused and professional, sure, but that doesn't leave out possibilities for fear or being upset or other emotions to be explored.


Heres My Story so far...

....


.

I also thought that there was more to the pendant than what we saw, but now we have the explanation we've seen/heard, I'm fine with it. It was a nice thing that connected Lara and Roth with a past. It also shows that Lara's interest in archeology started early. It's sweet that she had this find aged five and she's kept it all this time. Your scene is sweet and it would have worked well in TR'13. I'm not sure it needs more focus for TR10/2.

I have no idea what the future story is. It may well feature the Trinity and the Star phenomenon, but I'm wary of this as it kind of means there's a plot thread tying the two games together. I'm not sure I like it. We'll see how it pans out if CD go that way.

Metalrocks
7th Oct 2013, 15:37
What does it matter what I prefer? But yes in general I prefer emotional protagonists that cool and badass unemotional protags. I guess this is the part where you say I'm not a "true" fan? Yes I did play the older games but I was not a fan of the old Lara by any stretch. She and the games were just another game for me. New Lara ftw.

I thought you meant Mathias, yeah fighting Himiko would have been cool but not a deal breaker for me. I don't even like boss battles that much and feel most games tack boss battles on just because they gotta have one. Hurr durr we need to have a boss battle! Given the realistic nature of the game I doubted if we were gonna fight Himiko anyway. I bought the game to go on an epic adventure with Lara and I got that.

agreed. i also dont like boss battles too much. in some games i dont have a problem with it like duke nukem 3d, serious sam, painkiller, etc.
i dint like the boss battles in anniversary though. they could have been left out in my view.
the new TR had some sort of boss battles like the more heavier armored guys, the big samurai monster, the bearded guy on the ship. but its not like you have to shoot 500 bullets in to them.

pirate1802
7th Oct 2013, 16:15
agreed. i also dont like boss battles too much. in some games i dont have a problem with it like duke nukem 3d, serious sam, painkiller, etc.
i dint like the boss battles in anniversary though. they could have been left out in my view.
the new TR had some sort of boss battles like the more heavier armored guys, the big samurai monster, the bearded guy on the ship. but its not like you have to shoot 500 bullets in to them.

Agreed. Boss battles are fine where they make sense. But I see a lot of people saying games aren't complete until you have a boss battle in them, like games are incomplete without them. I guess this made sense in the old school gaming era, where you had surface-level storytelling and so needed challenges and boss battles to give the player a sense of accomplishment. But games are evolving now (or being hollywoodized and casualized if you're cynical). You don't need arbitrarily put boss battles to give the player a sense of accomplishment. I finished Bastion recently, it didnt have an endgame boss fight. Neither did Mark of the Ninja, or Metro Last Light before that. None of the Assassins Creed games have boss battles. Yet they are all awesome. Now whether TR is the type of game that needs boss battles is up to personal tastes. But I'm not pissed either way, whether next one has them or not. If it does have it, I'd want it to feel organic to the game, like the big guy on the ship or the Oni, rather than a big "I am the mandatory endgame boss" sign hovering over his head..

VaBanes
7th Oct 2013, 16:48
And since I had no problem with her whining and crying, I won't have any problem if they do heed my wish and make her more whiny ;)
Same here. I think every time she was "crying" and "whining" there was a god damn reason for that. That's just human.

Also, about that "emotional thing". Just look at Jason Brody. He also "cries" a lot in the beginning and becomes the most badass psycho ever. :D :P

I like things like that much more than Duke Nucrap.

BridgetFisher
7th Oct 2013, 18:09
The game def needs a new writer, first of all it shouldnt need a writer at all :P
The game should be about looting tombs, shooting things, story? who cares noone ever did as long as it was fun. Often when TR games tried to have a story instead of focusing on the strong gameplay it detracted from the overall game resulting in a lackluster product for the consumer.

Rai
7th Oct 2013, 19:09
^I'm just going to say this: Tomb Raider (1), Tomb Raider 2, Tomb Raider 3, Tomb Raider Last Revelation, each mini adventure in Tomb Raider Chronicles, Tomb Raider Angel of Darkness. Each had a story. TRs 4 and Angel of Darkness had more intricate stories than TRs 1-3 and C, but all had a story. None of those stories detracted from the gameplay. And I'm pretty sure a writer or two were involved in the process.

Also, whether or not a (TR) game has a story or not (though they all have) does not mean it detracts from the gameplay and/or results in a lackluster overall product. That's down to personal opinion and is subjective.

Weemanply109
7th Oct 2013, 19:24
I think Rhianna proved herself with the monstrosities of both Mirrors Edge and Tomb Raider - all of her work just proves that she fails to tap into the work's full potential, there's always more to be desired and that's not a good thing. Too many chances to take a risk with her again, imo. I'm aware of her statement about gameplay narrative vs story narative and such, but that's her problem because as far as I'm aware there's people who can do better.

Either she's a poor unfortunate soul who's had the bad luck of being teamed up with a stubborn teams who weren't willing to let her work at her best to give the product it's best representation or she just expresses her narrations really badly in games. Either way, I'd prefer CD to shop around for the BEST of the BEST before taking her on board again. No offence to the poor gal, she tried but the story has been slated as horrible and rightfully so as that clich├ęd mess is an embarrassment to the franchise.


Are you Trolling my Thread now. :scratch:

He's making a point with sarcasm, me thinks. :p

daventry
7th Oct 2013, 19:26
Yea, i got that afterwards too late :p

Jurre
7th Oct 2013, 23:38
It's typical how people who've got about as much writing talent as an old sock are hurling boulders of judgement toward other peoples work... Or think that they better know how to make a videogame than the professionals ... I mean what is this, the internet?

Seriously though, I think a good game is a balanced one: she should react to what is happening and show emotion but not be crying the whole time. A story serves as a framework for the events that happen and to get the player more involved into what's going on, as well as to show a certain development. But it should'nt get to War and Peace levels...
To answer the original question: I think miss Pratchetts story, while not remarkable in any way, did it's job competently and was a massive step forward compared to the previous TR's with the exception of Legend. I do want her to return in the next game, if only to preserve the consistancy in the development of Lara's character. To do that the character must come from a single source.
And while I won't be screaming that my ideas are better, I did post my fanmade script for a future Tr: http://forums.eidosgames.com/showthread.php?t=137057

daventry
8th Oct 2013, 19:16
Im starting to feel this Thread should be moved to the Tomb Raider Section, since it feels more like Cut Content for Tomb Raider, instead of trying to make it a part of TR2

The Only part that does resemble TR2 or could be a DLC is the Trinity Star.

I feel TR2 should be Fresh like each of the Classic Games TR1 - TR3

Heidi_W
9th Apr 2014, 13:14
But yes in general I prefer emotional protagonists that cool and badass unemotional protags. I guess this is the part where you say I'm not a "true" fan? Yes I did play the older games but I was not a fan of the old Lara by any stretch. She and the games were just another game for me. New Lara ftw.

Given the realistic nature of the game I doubted if we were gonna fight Himiko anyway. I bought the game to go on an epic adventure with Lara and I got that.

I agree 100%. Post-Yamatai Lara is going to have issues to deal with; her emotional scars are going to be part of her character as surely as her physical ones. I think the cinematic style of the new games will help quite a bit in conveying that aspect - I don't expect to see her sobbing as such during actual gameplay, but I would expect to see her issues manifest themselves at some points. This might be one area where Sam's presence can definitely influence the story.

zwanzig_zwoelf
9th Apr 2014, 14:08
bro i can write better than that now as good as rhianna oh boy that woman knows how to write engaging stories shes also beautiful i would propose to her the moment i saw her and treat her like a queen until the end of my days

so here is my story lara wakes up after a drinking party with that fat guy joheir and then they kiss each other and go for the honeymonth they go to iceland and start digging graves of old ppl then boo look out zombies left and right lara runs off joheir gets eaten and then lara gets her assault rifle music wubwubwub and then she runs around shooting zombies and avenging joheir and then she finds her love zombie joheir she kisses him he turns into a normal person and they sail towards the horizon with scrilex as their dj

Ellie92
9th Apr 2014, 14:15
bro that story yo

zwanzig_zwoelf
9th Apr 2014, 14:19
bro i glad you liked it i put my heart and soul into this story i hope crystal dynamics will hire me as an assistant to the divine rhianna pratchett and ill bath in her intelligence and get some wings to fly

Heidi_W
9th Apr 2014, 15:59
Good grief.

Might as well get a thousand monkeys...

Lukass
9th Apr 2014, 16:50
Nvm

zwanzig_zwoelf
10th Apr 2014, 04:15
bro i doubt thousands of monkeys can write as good as me or as rhianna pratchett

zwanzig_zwoelf
10th Apr 2014, 20:28
bro ok here is a revision of my plot

lara is crying all friends leave her joheir is dead she is broken she goes to mecca turns to islam then music wubuwbuwb joheir is getting into the mosque on his bike and says lara im alive how could you betray me joheir is in tears lara is in tears they go together on a journey and raid tombs in japan china and pakistan and then they have a wedding and joheir gifts her a golden tomb then buries her there and raids it for his only treasure for additional atmosphere then music wubwubwub and he kills zombies left and right to save his girl lara

Heidi_W
10th Apr 2014, 23:52
Yeah and in my humble opinion, duke nukem type "cool" badasses belong to the past where they should be. Videogame protagonists becoming more emotional is a good thing in my opinion. So Lara cries and breaks down. Elizabeth cries too. Booker appears to be a whiny (by tr fan's standards) wreck. So does Ellie at a point. Nilin starts off as a weak prisoner, and keeps pondering over stuff throughout the game. Good job. I'd rather have this Lara than an "oh look at me I'm so cool and badass and all" Lara.

Video games evolve just as movies do - when we watch movies made in the forties we're struck at how jarring the difference with today's flics are, just in terms of the story flow, acting, etc. Video games tend to evolve even more quickly with the pace of technology allowing ever more cinematic quality productions. That doesn't necessarily mean all reboots will inevitably better than their original source material (Galatica and Star Trek paint interesting contrasts there), but I think TR9 was one of the better examples of how they can be done successfully. It will be interesting to see how many clues laid out in TR9 will impact the next storyline, or whether some of them were red herrings (though I'm betting on the former).

pirate1802
14th Apr 2014, 17:23
so here is my story lara wakes up after a drinking party with that fat guy joheir and then they kiss each other and go for the honeymonth they go to iceland and start digging graves of old ppl then boo look out zombies left and right lara runs off joheir gets eaten and then lara gets her assault rifle music wubwubwub and then she runs around shooting zombies and avenging joheir and then she finds her love zombie joheir she kisses him he turns into a normal person and they sail towards the horizon with scrilex as their dj

Thats the most beautiful, compelling and action-packed script I've ever read. You should immediately replace Rhianna :eek:

Rai
14th Apr 2014, 17:53
^Don't feed the monkeys bananas, it only encourages them :eek:. In other words don't feed the troll ;)

zwanzig_zwoelf
22nd Apr 2014, 15:14
Thats the most beautiful, compelling and action-packed script I've ever read. You should immediately replace Rhianna :eek:

bro im so glad you liked my story i might be a controversial writer my ideas might cause thinking but hey im doing a good job in writing engaging stories and entertainment though im entertaining myself most of the time cuz other people get angry and call me a creature from my native mythology

Heidi_W
22nd Apr 2014, 16:23
^Don't feed the monkeys bananas, it only encourages them :eek:. In other words don't feed the troll ;)

Too late.

zwanzig_zwoelf
23rd Apr 2014, 05:42
bro here is another draft of a story for new tomb raider i hope you like it i worked hard on it :)

lara wakes up in the morning and realized that her golden necklace is stolen and joheir is running away with other guy so lara takes her assault rifle music wubwubwub and goes on a journey to kill the traitor and his lover they go to thailand lara kills joheir and then his lover tells her that they were pursuing the girl who stole it and lara cries then the guy runs off like hahaha fooled ye lara catches him music wubwubwub she kills him and finds some hobo behind the strawberry shop falls in love and then they go on a honeymonth to the iceland to dig up graves and then where the horror starts because zombies come out and eat the hobo lara cries and runs off but then falls in love with the zombie kisses him and they go on the journey to the china to rob temples and then where the horror starts because chinese zombies come out and eat the zombie lara runs off in tears but falls in love with the chinese boy and lives happily ever since raising him as a good boy and her future husband :)

Heidi_W
28th Apr 2014, 10:15
Yes she is, actually it was only recently that I became aware how closely she and Gail Simone (she of the Tomb raider comics) are collaborating in the leadup to TR10 - safe to say, Lara's continuing story is in good hands.

I think that part of the reason TR9 was so long in development was that the writers fleshed out the story arc for the first few games - we've seen so many Chekhov's Guns scattered throughout TR9 that SOME of them are bound to have some significance in future games. Now it's possible that some of these clues might have been red herrings, but all of them? No way.

I didn't get the impression that Trinity was an Axis organization in TR9, but I expect we'll find out in TR10 (heck maybe even in the comics given that they are canon), but one of the things I'm looking forward to the most is the mysterious connection to the Lost Colony of Roanoke - it's been something that has fascinated me for years, but it's never been made a major plot of any movie/book/game series that I've ever come across, so I can't wait to see what Rhianna and Gail have in store for us :)


Did they confirm Rhianna is coming back to write the story ? :confused: