PDA

View Full Version : Hey Jack, I heard you like terrible horror movies.



SlashPrower
29th Sep 2010, 00:38
You too, patty. I'm on to you.

We should talk about them here, because I have found no one else who has watched these pieces of crap.

So, I saw another really bad Syfy Original Movie. Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus or something. It was really boring and there was a lot of talking and then A GIANT CGI SHARK LEAPT OUT OF THE WATER AND ATE AN AIRPLANE and that was really awesome but then it got back to being boring again.

joe the janitor
29th Sep 2010, 00:39
I saw that too. I couldn't watch more then half. It was too terrible.

SlashPrower
29th Sep 2010, 00:42
I know, right? It was talktalktalktalktalkGIANT SHARK EATS AIRPLANEtalktalktalktalktalkend. And Syfy original movie writers are not known for their skills in dialogue.

BeardedHoplite
29th Sep 2010, 01:06
I saw this SciFi (I refuse to call it by the new name) movie with Bruce Campell a year or so back. It was basically him vs. finger-eating space termites.
Even Ash couldn't save it.

JackGordon
29th Sep 2010, 01:35
I've seen over 1750 flicks (I've got a full list on imdb). I've seen many, many pieces of crap but nothing ever came close to 'The Abomination (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090582/)'.

Other recommendations are Killer Condom (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116791/) and Cradle of Fear (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0291833/) (yes... With members of the band 'Cradle of Filth').

A few months ago I subscribed to this fellow (http://www.youtube.com/user/****casecinema). Take a look at his reviews, you'll (re)discover some terrible horror/action flicks and have a few good laughs along the way.

Brackstone17
29th Sep 2010, 03:34
I thought Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus was a great movie. The man's reaction just before he sees the shark is comic gold.

Also, I saw this one really bad one recently, I can't remember it's name, but it was basically Ants on a Plane, sadly without Sam Jackson. It had shadowy military types refusing to let the plane land and everything.

Also, I'm going to ask if anyone here has seen The Beast? Not the Russian tank one, the William Peterson one.

EDIT: I'm also going to throw Manticore, Rock Monster and SS Doomtrooper, but those are kind of main stream.

ohitspatty
29th Sep 2010, 06:12
Cradle of Fear! Yes! I watched that on Netflix like few months ago, holy **** that left a bad taste in my mouth for days.

Anyways, when it comes to movies I love to watch those ****ty b-flicks...they are just so entertaining, well some are meanwhile others are just plain bad, not even funny.

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus is one of the boring ones, sadly. I saw the airplane part in the trailer so it wasn't anything as exciting. The company that made this film is famous for many crappy rip-offs...just click here (http://www.theasylum.cc/). Those ******s are responsible for Titanic II.

...so yeah, I have few days off so I'll probably will watch some stinker if I don't spend it all on Dead Rising 2 lol

Bevacur
29th Sep 2010, 14:35
Hey! Mega shark vs giant octopus was great! Seriously needs to be more films like that.

Lol, holy ****!

UhUh
29th Sep 2010, 16:34
I vote for this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anqzDlpnCms&feature=related).

Bevacur
29th Sep 2010, 17:57
I vote for this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anqzDlpnCms&feature=related).

LOL! The guy with glasses actually looked like he was about to be raped!

That film looks amazing, i can put my Spanish to the test now.

SlashPrower
1st Oct 2010, 23:20
Hey, did anyone ever see Hellraiser: Hellworld?

That movie was ass. I saw it just yesterday. I hate Hellraiser movies that have Pinhead in them for maybe 5 seconds (i.e. every Hellraiser movie after Bloodline).

One of Seven
1st Oct 2010, 23:31
Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus was f***** greatness. I love the crew mate who randomly loses his mind, and the chopper pilot who for no reason runs into an iceberg!

Troll 1 and 2 blow hard as well.
HyophYBP_w4

Oh and in response to Killer Condom, there's another movie called Teeth, where uh, a woman has teeth in her uh vjj....... Anyways I love bad movies, one of the reasons why I absolutley adore
MST3000.

SlashPrower
1st Oct 2010, 23:46
Teeth was actually pretty good for a movie about a woman with, uh, well, it's referred to in the movie as "vagina dentata".

Troll 1 was just bad but Troll 2 was completely epic in its legendary terribleness.

Brackstone17
2nd Oct 2010, 00:27
I saw a terrible horror movie lately: Legend of the Guardians. Honestly, it's just about the worst movie I've seen in a long time. The Last Airbender at least had some really funny dialogue and genital shaped hair. This was just all bad all the time. The most fun I had in the movie was trying to figure out the voice actors for all the owls.

JackGordon
2nd Oct 2010, 00:38
Hey, did anyone ever see Hellraiser: Hellworld?

That movie was ass. I saw it just yesterday. I hate Hellraiser movies that have Pinhead in them for maybe 5 seconds (i.e. every Hellraiser movie after Bloodline).
Haven't seen Hellworld. Stopped watching Hellraiser after Hellseeker. And, honestly, Bloodline is my favorite. Some effort actually went into the settings and the story.

Did you know that Valentina Vargas, who plays the beautiful Angelique, is 'The Girl' in The Name of The Rose (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091605/). As in: the girl who seduces the young Monk played by Christian Slater.


I saw a terrible horror movie lately: Legend of the Guardians. Honestly, it's just about the worst movie I've seen in a long time. The Last Airbender at least had some really funny dialogue and genital shaped hair. This was just all bad all the time. The most fun I had in the movie was trying to figure out the voice actors for all the owls.
The guys at Spill gave it a full price (http://www.spill.com/Movie-Reviews/MovieReview.aspx?Name=Legend%20of%20the%20Guardians:%20The%20Owls%20Of%20Ga%27Hoole&VideoId=448756). Haven't seen it myself so I'm not judging.

Tried the game demo on the Xbox Live Marketplace. It gargled balls. Audio drops a plenty.

One of Seven
2nd Oct 2010, 01:02
I deem Surf Nazis Must Die, one of the greatest bad movies of all time. What would society do without Troma?

chip5541
2nd Oct 2010, 01:14
I tried sitting through a movie called Garbage. It was an Australian movie. Yeah, it was garbage.

JackGordon
2nd Oct 2010, 01:17
I tried sitting through a movie called Garbage. It was an Australian movie. Yeah, it was garbage.
D'you have a bit more info about it? What was it about, exactly? Modern horror, 80's, ... ?

EDIT: now that we're talking about Australian movies. You guys need to check out 'Alexandra's Project (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bzh3U-jYEXY)'. It's not a horror flick nor is it a bad flick. It's just, dare I say, unique...

Bevacur
2nd Oct 2010, 09:13
Uwe Boll's Stoic.

Seen the trailer and boy, that made my eyes feel dirty.

SlashPrower
2nd Oct 2010, 11:28
I saw a terrible horror movie lately: Legend of the Guardians. Honestly, it's just about the worst movie I've seen in a long time. The Last Airbender at least had some really funny dialogue and genital shaped hair. This was just all bad all the time. The most fun I had in the movie was trying to figure out the voice actors for all the owls.

Why.

Did you go see it.

When we all know you were going to hate it.

Seriously, remember the thread where you talked about how it looked awful? I can't comprehend why you paid for a movie that you had pretty much set out to hate it.

I'll probably either see it with my sister or rent it when it comes out.

Oh, that reminds me. My sister and I need to rent that Nightmare on Elm Street remake.

EDIT: Reading some of the reviews. Most of the problems seem to deal with not being able to follow the story. I think my sister and I won't have that problem, since we read the books. I don't like how they're trying to shove in all the books from The Capture to The Burning. It's never a good idea to try and shoehorn the plots of six books into one movie. Personally, considering the short length of the books, I would have stopped at the fourth one.

I guess they really wanted to kill Metal Beak off. I wonder if they set up for a sequel using Nyra's hatchling?

Brackstone17
2nd Oct 2010, 17:34
I saw it because it was half-price Tuesday and everyone I knew was going to it. That and Machete wasn't playing anymore.

Actually, I found the plot very easy to follow, since it's so generic. And I mean really generic. My problem with the movie is that I didn't like the animation, story was almost as predictable as Avatar, the action scenes were awful (and chocked full of the random slow motion typical of Zach Snyder) and finally, I just can't take it seriously when characters yell out "BELIEVE IN YOUR GIZZARD!" every other sentence.

More things I hated: Moonblinking, the word "daymare", random betrayals, Hugo Weaving just sort of disappearing for a bit, that snake, the random 10 second hint of a romantic subplot that never gets mentioned again and finally, the bats with metallic wings.

This movie just wasn't for me. I realize that. Technically (apart from the animation), it was great. Great colour scheme, great design, great lighting. It's just that everything else is so bad.

Edit: I forgot to mention the use of Owl City music in the film. I hated that too.

One of Seven
2nd Oct 2010, 21:44
Believe in your gizzard might become my new Xbox motto.