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GrievousOdyssey
10th Sep 2010, 21:47
Right , off we go ...

Red Dead Redemption ...
VII ... It's missing the "spawn helicopter" cheat ...
VI ... No health bars , no incentive to 'take care' of the playable character ...
V ... The game is in fullscreen , a widescreen option with black bars wouldn't have been so complicated now would it ...
IV ... The game is incredibly easy and forgiving (mission-wise) for a story that puts the characters in situations that is anything but , creating a rather odd 'paradox' for the player ...
III ... And on the flipside , if players refuses to use the 'Dead eye' feature , the game can sometimes be just unplayable ...
II ... You can't ride buffallos ...
I ... Zombies is there , but in DLC format , WTF ...

Dead Men ...
VII ... No rap song ...
VI ... No nuclear explosion ...
V ... No sex scenes between Lynch and Lara Croft ...
IV ... No trophies for the PS3 version ...
III ... Not a sandbox game ...
II ... No Nintendo Wii or DS spinoffs for us to laugh at ...
I ... "Jeff Gerstmann says so" ~ Dr Klowneus ...

BeardedHoplite
10th Sep 2010, 21:58
Starcraft
1. Tech takes a long-ass time to research
2. The game is not balanced, at all
3. RUSHING AI!!!
4. RUSHING AI!!!
5. Two of the factions feel way too alike
6. Player buildings take awhile to build, while it seems the AI's get built almost instantly
7. Oh yes, the GODDAMN ******* RUSHING AI!!

Kent-45
10th Sep 2010, 22:15
If you think Starcraft's AI rushes, try playing Command & Conquer Tiberium Wars on maximum difficulty. It brings all new meaning to the word "cheap"

BeardedHoplite
10th Sep 2010, 22:19
If you think Starcraft's AI rushes, try playing Command & Conquer Tiberium Wars on maximum difficulty. It brings all new meaning to the word "cheap"

Tiberian Sun was bad too, it's the only C&C I refuse to play

GrievousOdyssey
10th Sep 2010, 22:25
The last two posts did not includ even one funny line , Kent , i'm severly disappointed at you ...

Bevacur
10th Sep 2010, 22:26
Avatar the movie: The videogame.

To much walking, not enough genocide.

SlashPrower
10th Sep 2010, 22:28
Sonic 2006
1. Everything
2. Everything else
3. No, seriously, nothing was good about this game
4. The stuff that could have been good was absolutely glitched up the ass
5. This
6. game
7. sucked

GrievousOdyssey
10th Sep 2010, 22:36
GamesRadar would have been proud to hear you saying that ...

GrievousOdyssey
13th Sep 2010, 08:37
Bioshock 2 ...
VII ... The game's intro made me cry ...
VI ... Like if we give a **** about Lamb's crazy sect , all we want to know is whether Andrew Ryan lives or not , was it so hard to make a plot twist with Ryan riding a whale near the end ? ...
V ... Too easy compared to the first one , makes the trophies unrewarding ...
IV ... One of the game's recurring musical theme makes me cry ...
III ... The big special edition comes with a vinyl ... Who The **** Still Has A Record Player In His House !!!? ...
II ... One of the game's ending makes me cry ...
I ... But seriously though , i hate listening them little sisters cry , it breaks the mood , i mean damn , Every single one of them has to cry once and for what ? ... I'M THE ONE WHO CRIES HERE , NOT YOU SILLY LITTLE *slaps* ...

Bevacur
13th Sep 2010, 16:34
The Police..I HATE THEM!

Fook tha poliz!

JackGordon
13th Sep 2010, 18:44
Bioshock 2 ...
VII ... The game's intro made me cry ...
VI ... Like if we give a **** about Lamb's crazy sect , all we want to know is whether Andrew Ryan lives or not , was it so hard to make a plot twist with Ryan riding a whale near the end ? ...
V ... Too easy compared to the first one , makes the trophies unrewarding ...
IV ... One of the game's recurring musical theme makes me cry ...
III ... The big special edition comes with a vinyl ... Who The **** Still Has A Record Player In His House !!!? ...
II ... One of the game's ending makes me cry ...
I ... But seriously though , i hate listening them little sisters cry , it breaks the mood , i mean damn , Every single one of them has to cry once and for what ? ... I'M THE ONE WHO CRIES HERE , NOT YOU SILLY LITTLE *slaps* ...
Wha... You... No. NO. NO! You're supposed to LOVE Bioshock 2. You're messing up my plans to take over the world here. I'm supposed to be in the 'The Originals Bioshock Was Better'-camp!

Bevacur
13th Sep 2010, 20:34
A game actually made you cry? I never cried from a game before, apart from laughing too much.

GrievousOdyssey
14th Sep 2010, 02:06
It's because of the father-daughter relationship thing , the father being a beast made by other men , and the daughter being forcefully bounded to him ... yet despite this inhumane combination , the fact that these two people cares for each other deeply , and the father will selflessly give his life in order to protect his daughter , a girl that he barely knows ...
The two's 'love' for each other turns out to be the most genuine and Humane feeling in the entire underwater dystopia , and ... well ... that was beautiful ...


But hey , at least this is more cry-worthy than the tweleve year olds who cried for Modern Warfare's ending - OMG GAZ's DEAD ! - And who the **** was he ? seriously man ...
I'm pretty sure some people cried over at Red Dead Redemption and The Darkness , but i can understand that ... i guess ...

Ah , yes , God of War III did nearly bring a tear to my eye , but not because of its sadness or anything , but rather the 'emotional rush' the soundtrack brings out sometimes ...
I mean this is the END Man ! and that intro video that shows highlights of the two first game with the soundtrack wooshing in ... man that was some emotional moments right there , manly tears incomming ! ...

Same thing goes to Guns of the Patriot , some moments of the game just ... makes you feel and know that This Is the End of a long journey ... worth the manly tears too i guess ...


On the flip side , it happens every once in a while that i want to cry out of desperation , such as when i was playing Among Thieves , i was like "Oh God why is this such a lousy game !!!!! WHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYY" ...

JackGordon
14th Sep 2010, 02:47
The two's 'love' for each other turns out to be the most genuine and Humane feeling in the entire underwater dystopia , and ... well ... that was beautiful ...
"Love is just a chemical. We give it meaning by choice."

Muffins if you know where this quote comes from.

joe the janitor
14th Sep 2010, 02:52
Tiberian Sun was bad too, it's the only C&C I refuse to play

I'm gonna pretend I didn't just read that.

GrievousOdyssey
14th Sep 2010, 02:56
Eleanor says it in the last chapter , when you get a second heart attack ... or when you're on the catwalk that goes to one of hospitals ...

I also have the impression of seeing it earlier , on a loading screen , i don't know ...

Also , that's one of the game's few lines that i'm not 'sure' i fully understand ...
I mean i think i get the concept , but i get the awkward impression i'm missing something ...
The other is Ryan's last audio diary , A Stratagem for Sinclair (http://bioshock.wikia.com/wiki/A_Stratagem_for_Sinclair)...

Edit : no wait , silly , me , wrong quote , the one i don't quite understand is another of her quotes , not this one ...
Scratch that , it was one of Lamb's quote about love that i was thinking about , too lazy to search for it now ...

Bevacur
14th Sep 2010, 23:19
I'm still refusing to buy Bioshock 2 for 10 quid, i wanna play it but 10 quid seems...too much. How short is the game?

joe the janitor
15th Sep 2010, 00:05
1. Way to much driving!
2. ripped off Goodfellas constantly (Vito Scaletta=Ray Liotta, Joe Barbaro=Joe Pesci, Henry Tomasinoedit=Robert De Niro).
3. Boring sandbox with no side missions.
4. Can't save between missions.
5. Tons of bugs (get stuck in geometry, and crashes in loading screens).
6. I didn't like how for you zoomed in.
7. You can die in car accidents way to easily. It can be extremely stressful.
7.5. The checkpoint saves are terrible. Drive car, die in car crash, start level all over again...

That's why I didn't like Mafia 2.

SlashPrower
15th Sep 2010, 00:44
- OMG GAZ's DEAD ! - And who the **** was he ?

The second best character in the game, next to Captain Price. He was really sarcastic and decently funny. Captain Price gets points for this, though: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftcO94AdFa8

Yeah, I'm defending Modern Warfare. That and the Resistance games were my introduction into the world of shooters. Modern Warfare had a good, fun campaign, Modern Warfare 2 had a short campaign with a stupid plot but some good variety in the missions.

Brackstone17
15th Sep 2010, 02:25
Price ain't got nothing on Gary Oldman (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLWavjDHvp0).

MacMillan was a pretty cool guy too.

GrievousOdyssey
15th Sep 2010, 09:16
I'm still refusing to buy Bioshock 2 for 10 quid, i wanna play it but 10 quid seems...too much. How short is the game?

My god for one sadistic little bastard you're pretty greedy aren't yah ? ...

Depends on how you play the game , and which difficulty you set it on (and in the case of Bioshock , if you use the Vita Chambers or not) , so it can take you anywhere between eight to twelve to sixteen hours ...

Alright , maybe not sixteen hours , let's say fourteen hours ...

I mean jesus , i don't know , how much did you payed for Dog Days ? ...

Ten quids and he doesn't know whether to buy Bioshock 2 or not , wtf is wrong with the world of today ? ...


1. Way to much driving!
2. ripped off Goodfellas constantly (Vito Scaletta=Ray Liotta, Joe Barbaro=Joe Pesci, Henry Tomasinoedit=Robert De Niro).
3. Boring sandbox with no side missions.
4. Can't save between missions.
5. Tons of bugs (get stuck in geometry, and crashes in loading screens).
6. I didn't like how for you zoomed in.
7. You can die in car accidents way to easily. It can be extremely stressful.
7.5. The checkpoint saves are terrible. Drive car, die in car crash, start level all over again...

That's why I didn't like Mafia 2.

Sounds like the biggest disappointment of the year ...

Seriously , i was at least expecting the game to be as good as The Godfather ...
Now that game had a lot of driving too , but knowing that you're doing all this driving to enter a forty seven minute shootout , with your best suit ? well That was gangsta ! ...

Hell , when i tried the Mafia II demo i see you couldn't do blindfires , so everytime you had to aim the camera will make this huge zoom , then when you return to cover the camera pans way back again , i can't believe i'll have to be doing that hundreds of time in the game , so i fully understand your Sixth point ...

Hey , perhaps that's why there so much driving breaking the pace ? you know , to stop us from being sick of the outrageous zoomings ...


The second best character in the game, next to Captain Price. He was really sarcastic and decently funny. Captain Price gets points for this, though: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftcO94AdFa8

No Doubt about it , seriously , you won't hear me complain about Gaz being one of the game's best character ...

But you will hear me saying that the entire cast of Modern Warfare was just ****e , i mean yeah , they keep on talking and making 'funny' comments , but common , i thought i was surrounded by a bunch of super excited teenagers in a war simulation game ... and i've played ****tier games with better supporting casts , such as Haze and Blacksite ...
It's outrageous if you think about it ...


Yeah, I'm defending Modern Warfare. That and the Resistance games were my introduction into the world of shooters. Modern Warfare had a good, fun campaign, Modern Warfare 2 had a short campaign with a stupid plot but some good variety in the missions.

On a more postive news , I did enjoyed Modern Warfare in terms of satisfaction , more than Arkham Asylum , Among Thieves and Killzone 2 ... though i thought War for Cybertron was better , and Treyarch's World at War still dominates them all ...

Haven't bought the Resistances yet , and i might never buy Modern Warfare 2 ... i don't know , i bought the first one just to see 'why' it was deemed one of the best of the industry ... well ...

Modern Warfare 2 does have Trophies however , maybe that might influence my purchase ... in two years or so ...


Price ain't got nothing on Gary Oldman (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLWavjDHvp0).

Brackstone saves the day ! ...

PS: Did you know that Reznov is returning in Black Ops ??!!! REZNOV ...

They HAVE to make a full game with Reznov , instant game of the year ...
Don't tell me you wouldn't support this idea ...


MacMillan was a pretty cool guy too.

Sorry , no , Bad Brackstone , BAD ! ...

This MacMillan was ... look , the guy's SLOW AS HELL ...
And no , i wasn't rushing through the whole scene shooting at everything on sight , no , i did as he suggested , being calm , slow , stealthy ... crawling ...

Then i had to ******* wait for minutes for this guy to finish his crawlings and open the door ...
And HE is my superior officer , WHAT ?!! just because he knows how to open doors , is that suppose to compensate on his overly slow behavior ? ...

I don't buy that ...

To make matters worse the guy somehow twiches his leg later on , Now i have to ******* babysit him ...

And the guy can barely headshot a dog ...
My god the dog looked like it was going to lick MacMillan's face ...

So you know ... you can just , in all your wisedom , Brackstone ... picture my face when i went to the Call of Duty wikia , and saw that

# MacMillan is one of the most liked characters in the game due to his stealth abilities, Scottish accent, and witty dialogue.
And that

# People seem to idolize him, as there are many Chuck Norris like facts about him out in the internet

Stealth abilities ? ... it made the game fifteen minutes longer , there's your goddamn stealth abilities ! ...
Witty dialogue ? compensating again for his turtle ninja techniques ? ...

And all this ... it's just ...
Not to mention that both missions with MacMillan , while they weren't exactly 'badly' designed ... they were more like Bonus levels that just crawled their way up into the storyline , supposedly giving 'depth' to the Price and the Big Bad's character history , while they weren't so different to the High Mile Club , really ...
It's just some 'cool moments' that the developpers wanted to put in to the game , regardless of the overall structure of the storyline ...

My deepest compassion to all those at Treyarch , because being considered by millions as the 'kiddie' company compared to Infinity Wards ...
Well that's just plain ******* insulting ...

(oh alright the Rain of Grenades in World at War was a really stupid move , but asside from that everything was superior to Infinity Ward's moves) ...

ohitspatty
15th Sep 2010, 10:41
Silent Hill: Homecomming
VII - Ridiculous plot that tries to tie in with elements from the film.
VI - Alex Shepherd.
V - No good puzzle elements.
IV - Too much combat for my taste.
III - Yamaoka half-ass'ed the soundtrack.
II - No "eerie" atmosphere.
I - Too predictable.

JackGordon
15th Sep 2010, 15:35
1. Way to much driving!
2. ripped off Goodfellas constantly (Vito Scaletta=Ray Liotta, Joe Barbaro=Joe Pesci, Henry Tomasinoedit=Robert De Niro).
3. Boring sandbox with no side missions.
4. Can't save between missions.
5. Tons of bugs (get stuck in geometry, and crashes in loading screens).
6. I didn't like how for you zoomed in.
7. You can die in car accidents way to easily. It can be extremely stressful.
7.5. The checkpoint saves are terrible. Drive car, die in car crash, start level all over again...

That's why I didn't like Mafia 2.
I kinda agree with you but I, mostly, play video games for the stories they have to offer. But yes, the checkpoints are getting annoying... Still, I love this game.

SlashPrower
15th Sep 2010, 20:42
1. Way to much driving!
2. ripped off Goodfellas constantly (Vito Scaletta=Ray Liotta, Joe Barbaro=Joe Pesci, Henry Tomasinoedit=Robert De Niro).
3. Boring sandbox with no side missions.
4. Can't save between missions.
5. Tons of bugs (get stuck in geometry, and crashes in loading screens).
6. I didn't like how for you zoomed in.
7. You can die in car accidents way to easily. It can be extremely stressful.
7.5. The checkpoint saves are terrible. Drive car, die in car crash, start level all over again...

That's why I didn't like Mafia 2.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/1988-Mafia-II

Bevacur
15th Sep 2010, 21:57
Silent Hill: Homecomming
VII - Ridiculous plot that tries to tie in with elements from the film.
VI - Alex Shepherd.
V - No good puzzle elements.
IV - Too much combat for my taste.
III - Yamaoka half-ass'ed the soundtrack.
II - No "eerie" atmosphere.
I - Too predictable.

This, this, this and this.

Although the otherworld was pretty much awesome.

SlashPrower
15th Sep 2010, 22:14
Yeah, Homecoming sucked. I hated the Order in the movie, and I really hated the Order in the game. Having the enemies in part of the game just be human guys in biohazard suits was really lame.

Here's my reasoning:

VII: Endings all sucked.
VI: Characters are cliched and rather unlikable.
V: YOU CAN GET THE UFO ENDING ACCIDENTALLY ON YOUR FIRST TRY JUST DOING NORMAL THINGS WHAT THE HELL THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE POSSIBLE
IV: Combat was too easy (Ceremonial Knife, X, X, X, Square. Repeat as necessary and dodge occasionally if fighting a boss. This was particularly funny when fighting Curtis, I just kept using the knife combo and he couldn't even get a hit in.)
III: Bosses were pretty meh. Scarlet was decently creepy and Sepulcher was okay, but Asphyxia was so weird as to be hilarious and Amnion wasn't scary, just sort of weird.
II: The plot was pretty much just Jacob's Ladder meets Silent Hill. Yay originality.
I: As was stated before, soundtrack was very meh. Easily the worst of the Silent Hill soundtracks.

ohitspatty
15th Sep 2010, 22:36
...and that is why I have no hope for next Silent Hill game.
Everything that made the original games so beautiful (in the sick kind of sense) has been watered down.

It's a shame because it was intelligent and different...now we got same old stale ****.

JackGordon
15th Sep 2010, 22:47
The Silent Hill series died after 2.

ohitspatty
15th Sep 2010, 22:51
The Silent Hill series died after 2.

Disagree. Three was good in my opinion.

JackGordon
15th Sep 2010, 23:01
No. Because it annihilated the freedom we had as players to choose which ending to SH1 was the 'true' ending.

joe the janitor
15th Sep 2010, 23:09
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/1988-Mafia-II
What a copy cat!

ohitspatty
16th Sep 2010, 03:38
No.

Yes. :D

To me it continues the story, and was actually a pretty solid game.

GrievousOdyssey
16th Sep 2010, 05:45
My god what the hell is wrong with you people playing stupid horror games ? ...

JackGordon
16th Sep 2010, 07:12
Be quiet, dancing five-assed asian monkey. Adults are talking here.

Yes. :D

To me it continues the story, and was actually a pretty solid game.
No! :D It unnessecarily continues a story. The enemy design was piss-poor and the soundtrack was weak. But hey, lad, it's fine if you enjoyed it. At least you got your money's worth because I personally didn't.

ohitspatty
16th Sep 2010, 08:36
Money worth? Sure, I picked it up for $5 on a garage sale few years ago, but to me personally it was the little things that made the game so enjoyable.

However, I do agree about the soundtrack, it wasn't anything special but then again I feel like everything started to downgrading slowly. I think there was less passion and heart put into them. Or perhaps they set the standards too high with Silent Hill 2.

I wish I had a Wii, I heard some good decent things about Shattered Memories...

JackGordon
16th Sep 2010, 09:26
Shattered Memories is great. I applaud the fact that the devs went and did their own thing.

GrievousOdyssey
16th Sep 2010, 10:56
Why Wii ? it came out on the PS2 too , didn't it ? ...

JackGordon
16th Sep 2010, 13:22
Yes and I also own that version but it sucks. Bad framerate, fugly graphics, ... Don't even get me started on the PSP version (I'm a collector). The Wii version is the right choice.

SlashPrower
16th Sep 2010, 20:59
Shattered Memories to me started off bad, then got good later on. Those last levels were awesome mind****s, and

that huge twist at the end completely chnged everything I had thought about the story. It was like woah.

I wish the controls to shake off the Raw Shocks were better, though. Always messed me up. And I wish there had been an indication of where you should go in the nightmare levels, if you don't keep checking the map and setting a path you'll end up going in a million circles.

GrievousOdyssey
30th Nov 2010, 18:37
It seems like after all these wall of text rambling rants that i actually Enjoy hating games ... but it's not true ...

I truly wish that all games could have been ... non-disappointing ...
It's not like if i demand a masterpiece everytime i play a game , but whether it's the gameplay design that makes me cry , or the storyline that just appears like a wasted potential ... ... that's it , the fact that it ends up being a wasted opportunity or simply an overrated experience , that is what's stopping us from reaching utopia ...

Anywya ...

The Ballad of Gay Tony ...
VII ... New Sci-Fi looking but useless toys ...
Oh man look at that MG , it can shoot two hundred rounds without reloading ! wait , what ? it does less damage than the standard assault rifles ? ...
Oh well how about the PN 900 ! it's like playing Kane & Lynch ! wait , what ? it sprays all over the place ? meh , how about the new sniper rifle ! look at its size ! it'll blow peoples head off ! what ? it barely propels the ragdoll body ? ... man , look , if you want to add new toys , at least make them something useful , don't break a leg for this ... i mean , was it too much to ask for a Improved Bullet Vest ? ...

VI ... Funny ? Funny How ? ...
The game tries to be funny many , Many Times , but it's just overall embarassing when i realized that i had more laughs playing the Lost and Damned (as people call it the 'grittiest' Grand Theft Auto to date) than watching the Ballad ... and it's not like i have a hard time being entertained , hell , i love all the time for the slightest bit of humour , especially in movies , but in the Ballad ? ... well ... it's more about annoying people acting like if they were funny than geniune funny people ... ... ... oh , so that's why the fans liked this game so much ? that makes sense ...

V ... Seen the trailers ? You played the game ...
The Ballad had like , what , five small trailers ? well if you've seen it , you've seen all the highlights of the game , including the game's last mission ...
This comes in stark contrast with the Lost and Damned , where most of its trailers are Made with things that don't really happen in game (which is also a shame , but at least you had a few 'surprises' when playing it , unlike the Ballad , of which the only surprises its got ... is some of the worst missions in the history of Grand Theft Autos ... more on that later) ...

IV ... The title has nothing to do with the game/Luis , stupid ...
Sounds like a really stupid complaint but with the genuine originality and potential for game with such a title ... it's really disappointing to see that the game isn't really about Gay Tony's ballad ...
While the game does take place during the most life threatning days of Gay Tony , the story (if there is one) isn't really about him , it's more about the errand missions that his bodyguard is doing at that time , for whatever reasons ... and ... this leads to the next point ...
Now , maybe it was indeed the point of his character to be a hypocrite ... but **** has got its limits ...
The best example to look at Luis' stupidity will be to look at his relationship with Yusuf Amir , the richest man of the world ... first of , there is absolutely no reason for Luis to continously pay visit to Yusuf and do his crazy missions , why ? because Tony himself has no debt towards Yusuf , and paying off Tony's debt is all that Luis ever does , so why does he keep visiting this man of which he doesn't even seem to fully appreciate ... But what makes go all the way down stupid is the fact that Luis ***** about how he doesn't like doing what Yusuf tells him to do ... i mean where's the logic in that ? you go work for a guy either because you need his money and pay off your debt to him , or if you just like the guy and/or his assignments ... if you don't have either of these reasons , in this situation where time is lacking you don't go blowing off police vehicles and then complain about it ! ...
And as for Luis' hypocrisy ... well , he tells at one point to Bulgarin (after being assigned to kill a man) that he is 'no hitman' , and he makes a big BIG fuss out of it ...
Now apparently there is HUGE difference between slaying down hundreds of cops/swats/bikers/gangsters and going to assassinate someone (which includes another couple of dozens of bodyguards) ...
Luis Fernando Lopez therefore doesn't like alot of things , he doesn't like his girlfriend , he doesn't like his mother , brother , Tony , the people he works for , and he doesn't like to be a 'hitman' , or at least , he doesn't want to Think that he is a hitman , the hundreds of goons he killed are probably just pigeons in his mind ...
He does like to have sex with lots of women , which itself is not exactly a 'bad' thing , but for a Grand Theft Auto protagonist , that's a bit thin ...
He also does appear overall as a likeable dude ... then again it's because he doesn't much noteworthy personality of his own ...
Let's just leave it at that , it's too miserable to go on ...
It doesn't help that the supporting cast itself can't save this game ...

III ... New Friends , who cares ! ...
The Lost and Damned has a nice bunch of characters that never managed to get enough screen time , that was a shame (also why we wish they would 'remake' it) ... The Ballad has got a bunch of characters that never manages to do something worthwhile , despite having amply enough screen times ...
In fact , some of them are in the good for good lack of reason ...
Take a look at Mori , almost everybody who played the game hates him , but why is he in the game in the first place ? supposedly the game wants to show us all the type of faces in the 'high-life' of Liberty City , but it seems more like the game is forcing itself to introduce these 'crazy' people , justifying it as mission-givers but overall , they add nothing to the plot , of which itself is already inexistant ...
So you've got your two homies who you never want to see again , you've got Yusuf Amir who didn't fulfilled his potential , and you've got Tony Prince of course ... who , while being a charming guy , does nothing to be actually memorable asside from the fact that ... he was a nice guy ... but that's it ...
Even Rodislav Bulgarin , whose character seemed to be the most impressive work done in the game ... his role was cut short , just like that ... and ...

Really ? threatening Luis with two handgrenades inside a plane ? ...
That's His Last Stand ? ... a man so powerful is cornered and forced to be so damn ... outrageous ? ...
Anywya ...

II ... Where **** matters ... The Storyline Missions ...
So this is game with no real plot so to speak ... but at least we can hope for some entertaining missions , right ? ... i mean it's going to be like Liberty City Stories right ? disappointing story but largely entertaining/fast/short but memorable missions , right ? ... i mean we can ignore the fact that all the highlights of the game are already shown in trailers , we can do that , right ? ...
As a DLC , the game had to limit itself into twenty six missions ...
At least Three of these missions have no doubt made their way into the history of the worst Grand Theft Auto missions (and they all , in some goddamn coincidence , have something to do with Gracie) ...
The rest of them ... are either just there for the sake of making people happy (the ones with stuff blowing up all over the place for no reason) , or just look like some awkward leftovers in Rockstar's level design office (the ones where you have to drive to a place , shoot a bunch of people , and drive away ... at least these type of missions made 'sense' in Grand Theft Auto IV's style and tone , for Luis and his Ballad , it just bores) ...
And what the **** is with that song that plays at the end of the last mission ? of which the last mission was already a cheap disappointment ...
Ah , and to nail the coffin , it also doesn't help that Luis' role in the 'Trinity Impossible' angle was really pointless ...

So we see in the Lost that we robbed the diamonds from him ...
And in IV we see him taking the diamond away , and then give it back later as ransom ...
In the Ballad ... ... what does it add ? ...
At least i was hoping that Luis will have to find some way to track down the ice to the Libertonian Museum ... but what happens instead ? ...
Luis: Sup Tony!
Tony: Hey Luis! i know where the diamonds are! they're about to be exchanged in the museum!
Luis: For real? how did you know that?
Tony: Oh hell i don't know, hey look at me, i'm drunk, whooooooo i'm going to land on my ass on the floor!

Pointless ...

At least Niko's act in IV had consequences on Johnny , that's what made the Lost interesting in terms of connecting the dots ...
What Niko and Johnny did to Luis , and what Luis do to them in return ... is somewhat nonexistant ... Luis just happen to squeeze himself into this trinity , or rather , Rockstar didn't know how to make a third story on its own , so they just kind of make things relate to each other , even though they lack soul ...
How else are we going to justify all these lousy missions and pointless story ? ...

Ah , yes ... the fans wanted it ...

I ... This is what happens when Rockstar listens to their supposedly mature 'fans' ...
It's no secret that the Ballad of Gay Tony was a fan service ... a HUGE fan service , and therefore a waste of opportunity in making something grand again ...
Ever since the first screenshots i've seen of the Ballad (with the chopper blowing up dozens of cars) ... i just knew that this game was going to be 'cheap' , with an idea of using large quantity of explosions over the substance and quality of one single explosion , so to speak ...
When San Andreas came out there were people who complained that the game was just too 'outrageous' ... then when IV came out a even bigger group of people complained it didn't look like San Andreas enough ... it was obvious that Rockstar somewhat felt bad about it and wanted to please their community , so they no doubt changed a bit their plans for the Ballad (Lost and Damned was already too far ahead in their production to be altered ... Thank God , by the way) ... Now with the Ballad most people seems pleased , with only a handful of civilised men who are somewhat crying in the corner (like always) ...
It can all be argued that it is a simple matter of 'taste' ... but that's a bit too easy in my opinion ...
I think that Rockstar had a clear plan for what they wanted to do with the Ballad , but it was all scrapped in favor of something that is going to please the angry mob ... ... ... now this is one thing that IO can be proud of , they have guts to do whatever the **** they want ... ... which can also be a bad thing , but that's another story ...

Or ...

Maybe it's the fact that the Ballad just like the Lost were designed in mind to be mere 'DLCs' and not exactly full retail games , and maybe that's the shame of it all ... the philosophy of the DLC killed the Ballad of Gay Tony ...

Funny ... because in the first mission Tony does make a complaint about the age where everything is just 'downloadble' ...

EDIT: perhaps i should specify that i will still take the Ballad any day instead of Drake's Fortune and Among Thieves ...

My god ... the horror ... oh the horror ...


i might never buy Modern Warfare 2 ... i don't know , i bought the first one just to see 'why' it was deemed one of the best of the industry ... well ...

Modern Warfare 2 does have Trophies however , maybe that might influence my purchase ... in two years or so ...

Dumbass ! you mean in two months ! ...

MxOAgentJohnson
30th Nov 2010, 18:51
Black Ops:

1) Same Engine
2) Same Graphics
3) Same Gameplay
4) Same Reskin
5) Same Features
6) Same Community
7) Same Cheek DLC (eventually)

BUT WHY DO I LIKE TEH ZOMBIES SO MUCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH!

GrievousOdyssey
30th Nov 2010, 18:58
Common now that ain't nice , you're talking about my next number One favorite game of all time ...

Don't you dare destroy my hope ! ...

JackGordon
30th Nov 2010, 19:29
EDIT: perhaps i should specify that i will still take the Ballad any day instead of Drake's Fortune and Among Thieves ...But why? Really, why? I know Nathan Drake is a retarded american hero character but still, that game is fun to play. Among Thieves' story was a bit all over the place, imo, but same here: fun to play.

GrievousOdyssey
30th Nov 2010, 19:35
No but that's precisely the thing , even if i ignore the overrated storyline , the game itself just wasn't fun to play ...

It's either too linear , too repetitive , or too slow ...
The 'climbing' sections are useless since you always catch the ledge you're jumping to , so no challenge there ...
The cover system works half the time since bullets always seems to penetrate the thick wall ...
The shooting just isn't satisfying ...

Perhaps when i replay it in normal difficulty i might get a glimpse of what it is that people are having so much fun with , but i doubt it ...

This is where Dog Days impresses me , it's short , but it gets to the point ...

JackGordon
30th Nov 2010, 19:43
You know, you are right about several things except one: the shooting isn't satisfying? At least enemies react to the bullets, whereas enemies in Dog Days act as if they're too cool to care. It feels like I'm firing BB's...

IMPYEMU
30th Nov 2010, 23:30
The supporting cast was probably what I hate most about the game,

Luis' mom is a ***** and instead of leaving her ass to rot Luis' still helps her.

Luis' friends are A-HOLE DOPERS but Luis' still helps them out, and makes sure to ***** as MUCH AS POSSIBLE whenever they see each other

Yusif Amir is JUST OFFENSIVELY UNFUNNY

Morry is exists because they wanted to make a character CRAZIER than BRUCIE (Who I loved in GTAIV, he could be an A-HOLE, but that's mainly due to roid rage because he's so self concious about his appearances and status, and he also had a good/funny side too, MORRY just exists, HE'S RIDICULOUS

ROCCO, God, if Luis' was half as badass as any other GTA protag he'd kill that motherF
long before the end, GTAIV got rid of the stupid Italian Guido rascist Stereotype's (well, at least the BAD ones) and made them serious, but ROCCO is awful, and that golf mission in the beggining is just stupid

Actually Grievous, I really enjoy the Diamond and Gracie storylines, they were the most interesting part of the game for me, but I do agree that the Diamond storyline works a lot better in GTAIV and TLAND

GrievousOdyssey
1st Dec 2010, 00:25
You know, you are right about several things except one: the shooting isn't satisfying? At least enemies react to the bullets, whereas enemies in Dog Days act as if they're too cool to care. It feels like I'm firing BB's...

Problem with the Uncharted games is that unless you're aiming for the head (of which you should because it's the only way to put a end quickly to all these unmemorable shootouts) , the bullets always spray all over the place , and thus , naturally , it hits the thug's body parts , and you see them jiggle all over the place , and most people would blindly put their controller down and start applauding for the marvelous work done on character animation ...

But jesus christ man , i want to play a game , not some goddamn tech demo to show the capabilities of the PS3 console ! ...

Dog Days is somewhat different , the enemies in that game aren't suppose to be 'human' , they're more like ... ******* buggers , no really , they're annoying bastards that stays on your way , so it makes some sense in showing how they fail to react to our bullets ...
All in a effort to makes us scream "Why Won't THEY DIE!!!!" but all the while having fun with it ...

Dog Days is also built around the idea that in order to survive the firefight you must push on foward , getting shot at , get up , and keep on spraying until everybody dies ...
Uncharted games asks you to kill a bunch of people in a room ... and ... i don't know , it just lacks 'something' , perhaps a motive , or at least a 'desire' to shoot at people ...
I'm not trying to be biased with the Kane & Lynch games , but i mean ... Nathan Drake takes a long time to heal himself up everytime , so you often find yourself resting in cover after just popping off a few shots ... and that breaks the pace , sort of ...

Oh i don't know , maybe i'm just totally ****ed up in my taste for gaming ...

Uncharted is just a franchise that makes me feel more like a punishment to play than something entertaining , or at least challenging* ...

*That said , a properly made 'challenging' game is still nonexistant in my book , so that's another story ...

If there is one thing that i can see myself applauding for the Uncharted games is the story related trophies ... there are none , asside from the "game completed on X difficulty" ...
That's how it should be for all games , story based trophies/achievements is a waste of space and nothing to be proud of in obtaining , as it's basically the same thing as finishing the game , and better have a silver and gold trophy than a bunch of bronze ...
Shame however , that the rest of the trophy list is a banal "find X amount of treasure" and "killed X amount of baddies with weapon Y" ...


ROCCO

Listen to me now , very carefully ...

Rocco ... that guy who did that awkward 'gesture' in the beginning of the game ...

He ... Does Not ... Exist ...

This is very important , you have to protect your sanity , Rocco does not exist ...

It'll save you ...


Actually Grievous, I really enjoy the Diamond and Gracie storylines, they were the most interesting part of the game for me, but I do agree that the Diamond storyline works a lot better in GTAIV and TLAND

If the diamond and Gracie episodes were really the most interesting part of the game then , well , that says it all in how goddamn awfull the Ballad was ...

This reminds me , when i first read the IGN review , i remember the guy complained about how complicated the helicopter mission were ...

It couldn't be the destruction of the yatch , that was too easy ...

So ... it must be the one of where you had to destroy the police choppers after leaving the museum ...

Well i don't know how unlucky this reviewer was , but for me , almost Everytime i played this part , the police choppers either 'collide' themselves , and explode ... or , smash itself blindly into a skyscraper , and explode ...
And there were only Three choppers to destroy ...

And i was ... expecting an armada ...

...

MY GOD ! If you want to make a game about outrageous people and outrageous mission designs , then give me the full notion of outrageousness ! give me two dozesn of police choppers to blow up in the sky , give me a nightly firework ...

How cheap can you be ? three innocent choppers to blow up ? ...


Just what the hell is it that the Grand Theft Auto fans liked so much about Luis and the Ballad of Gay Tony ... My god ...


Awe common don't tell it's because of that sex scene in the bathroom and that half ass blowjob five minutes later ! ...

Anywya , some positive note ...

...

...

...

...

...

The sky at five in the morning is different than in IV and the Lost , it's now pink , with a bit of blue ... it only lasts for so long , but i was lucky enough to have it during some cutscenes and gameplay sequences , for example when climbing the empire state building ... the sky was lovely ... ... ...
Yeah , that's about it ...

I'm so glad i started the Ballad first before the Lost , folks in the forums kept saying that finish it with the Ballad is better as it "brings closure to the trilogy" ...
Damn i love my hunch ...

JackGordon
1st Dec 2010, 01:09
But jesus christ man , i want to play a game , not some goddamn tech demo to show the capabilities of the PS3 console ! ...Then buy a 360. :thumb:

GrievousOdyssey
1st Dec 2010, 01:14
I would have done it back in summer 2008 if the red ring crisis wasn't still in the hot news ...

I mean why did i bought a PS3 for ? for its exclusives ? yeah , right ...

JackGordon
1st Dec 2010, 01:26
I bought a PS3 Slim for Heavy Rain. Not worth it. The Last Guardian & Team ICO Collection, now those titles I'm sure will be truly epic (I rarely, as in 'never', use that word).

Anyways, get a matte black 360S (= Arcade) for happy times with superior multiplatform titles, Alan Wake, Limbo and a handful of friendly people such as your friendly neighborhood Dog Man.

IMPYEMU
1st Dec 2010, 01:38
Actually, let me re-phrase that Grievous. They weren't the most "interesting", they were the most entertaining.

Well at least the Gracie ones were, I agree that the missions for Gracie (aside from the last one) are basically just driving missions, but the dialogue is pretty damn funny, especially in Blog This!

As for the diamond ones, yeah they're good but not as good as GTAIV or TLATD, I like working with Bulgarin and then geting back-stabbed and the pokes at the other two games,

All in all, the missions that aren't for Yusuf, Roc-Morry, and the other people are good for me.

Also, something not related to the game itself but something that pissed me right the **** off, was how they released it for 360 at first, I got a 360 and played it because I just had to play them and I couldn't on my PS3, then what happens a few months later -_- GOD I hate when they do **** like that.

I've also noticed the game is a lot more fun and less stiff when I play GTAIV on the PS3

So I think I'm going to sell my copy of Episodes and buy the PS3 version.

If you want to talk about another issue with this crap, I only have online for my PS3, no wi-fi on the 360 and no games worth paying for online for, or at least no games I couldn't already play on my ps3, so I can't even try out the new multiplayer modes for episodes

If you want to know another, another issue with this crap, Episodes isn't considered it's own game but a DLC (yeah I know it is, but seriously?) they mark the achievements for it as part of GTAIV, so even if I got them all It'll still say I have less than half the achievements for the game, on both systems.

*Sigh* I need medicine...

ohitspatty
1st Dec 2010, 07:21
SAW the Videogame.

7) What the hell happened to Tapp?
6) Did the gorilla that ate part of Dog Days also ate a large portion of this game's creativity?
5) The characters are two dimensional, whining little pieces of dog crap.
4) The story is going NOWHERE. How is this related to SAW the film?
3) Horrible game puzzles that lack creativity and wisdom.
2) Lousy game design.
1) Another movie-to-game-piece-of-rotten-diarrhea-cash-in!