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View Full Version : The Kane & Lynch Movie!!?? WTF MAN??!!??



Stoniedude
28th Jun 2010, 14:27
ok guys you probably all know this but i was reading about the kane and lynch movie and lynch...is black, im not a racist man many of my good friends are black but why? lynch isnt black jamie foxx is a great actor(horrible singer ;P) but he is not lynch, anyway check out my suggestions on who lynch should be

Kevin Cage from "Heat"(which in my oppinion is the film the game is partly based on, if you guys get the time check out this movie absolute excellent film)
http://www.kevingage.com/gallery/index.php?gallerycatId=2&id=18

Billy Bob Thornton
http://images.forbes.com/media/2009/11/12/1112_billy-bob-thornton_485x340.jpg
(now imagine this guy with Lynch's long hair and goatee, he definetly has the personality on screen)

anyway all that is my opinion, please post yours just out of curiosity.
:)

JackGordon
28th Jun 2010, 14:32
We've been through this before, lad. I can say, however, that almost everyone on this board shares the same opinion.

Stoniedude
28th Jun 2010, 14:33
We've been through this before, lad. I can say, however, that almost everyone on this board shares the same opinion.

sorry mate lol im new to the forum just sharing mine ;)

GrievousOdyssey
28th Jun 2010, 14:50
As the-real-life-Lynch i must say i'm terribly offended by hollywood's insult at refusing to portray a caucasion schizophrenic on screen Properly ...

JackGordon
28th Jun 2010, 14:59
sorry mate lol im new to the forum just sharing mine ;)
No problem. It's just that we hate to be reminded that *insert what that annoying fellow above me just said* :lol:

GrievousOdyssey
28th Jun 2010, 15:13
Damn Straight ! ...

Bevacur
28th Jun 2010, 15:19
We've been through this before, lad. I can say, however, that almost everyone on this board shares the same opinion.

Great minds think alike.

GrievousOdyssey
28th Jun 2010, 15:30
Yeah well fools seldom differ ...

Wait that doesn't make any sense ...

Bevacur
28th Jun 2010, 15:32
When have you ever made sense? :D

GrievousOdyssey
28th Jun 2010, 15:36
I think that previous post was the one where i made the most sense so far ...

Nominating it for the "Best Single Post from a user" category , reason given: Grievous finally brought some sense into his nonsense ...

SlashPrower
28th Jun 2010, 16:39
I remember doing a 20 minute rant about this on my YouTube channel after I read the script.

Needless to say, Jamie Foxx is going to be the least of this movie's problems.

GrievousOdyssey
28th Jun 2010, 16:57
maybe not , but Jamie is sure as **** going to humiliate himself if they keep the whole key code in the brain thing in the film ...

SlashPrower
28th Jun 2010, 17:01
If he can make the way Kyle Ward's Lynch speaks anything other than ******* annoying, pretentious, and ridiculous, he is the best actor ever and should get a million Oscars every year for forever.

Bevacur
28th Jun 2010, 17:06
I remember doing a 20 minute rant about this on my YouTube channel after I read the script.

Needless to say, Jamie Foxx is going to be the least of this movie's problems.

Is the script...really that bad?

SlashPrower
28th Jun 2010, 17:14
Is the script...really that bad?

Dude.

DUDE.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

I think Twilight would have been a better investment of my time. 112 pages of hyper-concentrated fail in one script.

GrievousOdyssey
28th Jun 2010, 17:18
Slash , seriously , i don't think this is the real script ... it's not possible it can be this bad , i mean this is a crap sack world , but even dumb people have a limit in recognizing dumb **** ...

It's not (humanely) possible this script is being made into a motion picture ...

SlashPrower
28th Jun 2010, 17:21
http://top10queen.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/our_family_wedding.jpg

In a world where someone thought this was a good idea, anything is possible.

(had to see that on a psychology trip- for a long-ass movie that was supposed to be a comedy, it had exactly one 2-minute scene that was funny. God, that movie hurt to watch)

GrievousOdyssey
28th Jun 2010, 17:51
Why the **** did you even watched it in the first place ? you do know that by watching it you contribute it to the film's success , and in turn gives reasons for hollywood to fork out more of these 'comedies' ...

SlashPrower
28th Jun 2010, 18:47
It was only half of the psychology field trip. The other half was conducting social experiments in a mall.

You have to take the bad with the good.

GrievousOdyssey
28th Jun 2010, 20:47
JAAAAAASSSSSSSSSOOOOONNN ...

What the **** is a psychology field trip anywya , it's not like if you have reached a better understanding at people's way of thinking , and even if you did , you needed a field trip to do that ? ...

SlashPrower
28th Jun 2010, 20:51
It was a study to see how people reacted to things outside of the social norm. Pregnant teenagers, lesbian couples, that sort of thing.

I just took the class because I want to go into the field of clinical psychology.

GrievousOdyssey
28th Jun 2010, 22:14
Well you should come and study me , you'll become worldwide famous for being the first person in this world to have managed to ... understand me ...

ohitspatty
29th Jun 2010, 01:51
If the script wasn't called Kane&Lynch then it would have been pretty decent action flick starting Bruce Willis and Jamie Foxx.

GrievousOdyssey
29th Jun 2010, 02:11
Once again , we really don't know just what was the reasonning behind buying the rights of "Kane & Lynch" if they plan to do something completely different with it ...

JackGordon
29th Jun 2010, 06:38
Well you should come and study me , you'll become worldwide famous for being the first person in this world to have managed to ... understand me ...
And there was much rejoicing.:lol:

GrievousOdyssey
29th Jun 2010, 14:26
Say ...

I wonder if Kane's face was not inspired by that one eye moon ...
*Grievous making a not so subtle attempt at changing the subject* ...

IMPYEMU
1st Jul 2010, 21:46
Could not agree more. It's such a weird casting descision.

GrievousOdyssey
1st Jul 2010, 23:31
Hell even Ving Rhames makes a better Lynch ...
My work of art proved it ...

GrievousOdyssey
4th Jul 2010, 15:04
I was fooling around in IMDB and i found out that the rumored Director , F Gary Gray , was the one who made The Negotiator ! ...

Marvelous , this movie is going to be epic ! ...

Though i still think Bruce should have played Lynch ...

ohitspatty
4th Jul 2010, 18:53
Hell even Ving Rhames makes a better Lynch ...
My work of art proved it ...

Yes, defiantly Ving Rhames!

murdoc
4th Jul 2010, 18:56
Looking at Kevin Gage, he looks the role SO much.

ohitspatty
5th Jul 2010, 02:54
I think Rufus Hannah should play Lynch.

GrievousOdyssey
5th Jul 2010, 04:48
**** Patty ... Lynch isn't that dumb ...

ohitspatty
5th Jul 2010, 17:34
Rufus and Donnie could be Kane & Lynch; Dead Hobos. Just give them a script and booze.

GrievousOdyssey
5th Jul 2010, 17:40
I thought they reformed , became civilised human beings again ? ...

ohitspatty
5th Jul 2010, 17:58
True, true but few hundred bucks it's a game.

GrievousOdyssey
6th Jul 2010, 18:41
http://www.videogamesblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/kane-and-lynch-movie-stars-jamie-foxx-with-bruce-willis.jpg

This IS BY FAR THE MOST AWESOME & FRIGHTENING PICTURE AT THE SAME TIME EVER ! ...

Bevacur
6th Jul 2010, 19:37
Like i said before, i expect the film to get a really low score.

SlashPrower
6th Jul 2010, 21:48
Like i said before, i expect the film to get a really low score.

Seconded. Not Last Airbender low, but Number 23 low.

It wouldn't surprise me if Tom Cruise was that annoying FBI agent who repeated things we'd already figured out and didn't contribute anything to anything until the end of the script.

He fits the role.

GrievousOdyssey
6th Jul 2010, 21:53
Best Actor in a Supporting Role it is then ...

Bevacur
6th Jul 2010, 21:58
I am scared of what the final results will be for the film. Watching the film will be horrific! No-one will come out sane after watching this abomination.

I bet they altered the story all together. Just like how the ****ed up Doom, the *demons* are actually humans succumbed to a virus...

I bet Lynch is a very intelligent man, with a wife, a child, very rich and Kane turns out to be a undercover cop. It can not get any worser than that, can it?!

Brackstone17
6th Jul 2010, 21:59
Seconded. Not Last Airbender low, but Number 23 low.

Nothing can score lower than Last Airbender.

I'm actually thinking this is going to be like the Hitman movie. It'll be an entertaining diversion, nothing more.

Bevacur
6th Jul 2010, 22:00
What about Alone in the Dark? Which one failed most?

GrievousOdyssey
6th Jul 2010, 22:04
I'm actually thinking this is going to be like the Hitman movie. It'll be an entertaining diversion, nothing more.

Hitman was actually pretty good , i mean if you forget about the fact it's based on a video game , it wasn't ... bad , far from it ...

Hell even the music was decent ...

Brackstone17
6th Jul 2010, 22:08
Hitman was actually pretty good , i mean if you forget about the fact it's based on a video game , it wasn't ... bad , far from it ...

Hell even the music was decent ...
That's exactly what I mean. Turn off your brain for a bit and this will probably be decent.

GrievousOdyssey
6th Jul 2010, 22:15
That's exactly what I mean. Turn off your brain for a bit and this will probably be decent.

I can't find it ... how do i switch off my brain !! HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPP ...

Brackstone17
6th Jul 2010, 22:18
I can't find it ... how do i switch off my brain !! HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPP ...
Well first you plug in the power drill...

SlashPrower
6th Jul 2010, 22:33
I am scared of what the final results will be for the film. Watching the film will be horrific! No-one will come out sane after watching this abomination.

I bet they altered the story all together. Just like how the ****ed up Doom, the *demons* are actually humans succumbed to a virus...

I bet Lynch is a very intelligent man, with a wife, a child, very rich and Kane turns out to be a undercover cop. It can not get any worser than that, can it?!

Didn't you see my rant? Here, let me sum up the script's story for you.

Kane is a former Navy SEAL. He was never in The7, and never betrayed anybody. Instead, his partner (Crowley or something) betrayed Kane for The7, which Crowley is part of. Lynch is a very intelligent man who has amnesia. Crowley breaks them out of jail and explains that they will be looking for a microchip which Retomoto has or he'll kill Kane's family. He also explains that he has to look after Lynch, who is a "wiseman", the last surviving volunteer of a government experiment called Black Charon orchestrated during the Cold War designed to take mentally unstable people and encode numerical information within their brains. Lynch doesn't really remember this. They look for the microchip, Lynch freaks out and kills a few people with his bare hands, they learn that the microchip is called the Skeleton Key and holds the activation codes for most of the Soviet nukes. They also learn that Lynch was a scientific advisor for the NSA and his wife was his nurse who treated him when he was recovering from the experiments.

Blah blah blah, they find the microchip, take it from Retomoto, turns out Lynch is the Skeleton Key and the microchip is just sort oof an activation code. This is revealed in what will admittedly be a cool, creepy scene if it's directed correctly. Kane's wife is killed, he goes after his daughter.

Meanwhile, there's this FBI agent and his idiot assistant following them the entire time. They don't serve any purpose besides exposition and bad attempts at humor, but near the end they capture Kane, then release him because they're going to help him SAVE TEH WORLD. Lynch gets captured by Crowley, there's this firefight between every character that's not Jenny/Eliza, Crowley and The7 are killed.

In the end, Kane is serving a normal prison sentence and has reconciled with his daughter. Lynch escapes and goes to Venice, telling Kane in a letter that he will be looking for the people who experimented on him. It ends with a sequel hook as the FBI agent (Carmichael) walks into Kane's cell and says that he has a job for him.

Also, Kane's name is Marcus Kane, his daughter is Eliza, Lynch's first name is Lester but it used to be Bishop.

Yeah, it's even worse than it sounds. Part of me died a little inside reading this script.

Bevacur
6th Jul 2010, 22:38
WTF. That can't be it...surely..it's just so...i can't explain it! Jesus Christ, it's horrific! Kyle Ward came up with this crap?!

SlashPrower
6th Jul 2010, 22:44
wtf. That can't be it...surely..it's just so...i can't explain it! Jesus christ, it's horrific! Kyle ward came up with this crap?!

I know.

It ******* hurts man.

EDIT: Oh, and Lynch speaks with all these huge, annoying words all the time and does not like guns.

GrievousOdyssey
6th Jul 2010, 23:09
Awe god ... it was bad ... it was terrible ... *chuckles* i mean even worst case scenario , i didn't thought it was going to be that bad ...

Brackstone17
6th Jul 2010, 23:10
Well at least it doesn't sound as bad as Super Mario Bros. It'll take a real piece of work to top that film.

GrievousOdyssey
6th Jul 2010, 23:20
Well at least it doesn't sound as bad as Super Mario Bros. It'll take a real piece of work to top that film.

I actually kind of liked it , then again i never actually 'thought' it was Super Mario Bros ...

SlashPrower
7th Jul 2010, 00:16
Awe god ... it was bad ... it was terrible ... *chuckles* i mean even worst case scenario , i didn't thought it was going to be that bad ...

Kyle Ward is an idiot. Kyle Ward screwed up everything. Everything. And I actually wrote down some, um, pointers here, on, like, cause...If I tried to just go over everything that pissed me off, I'd forget a lot...

(We're talking about this, guys) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1v6LxrqSJXs