PDA

View Full Version : JC is So awsome...



luminar
26th Jun 2010, 15:48
JC once walked into a subway with terrorists holding civillians hostage. This event would later be known as the collapse! JC is so stoic Chuck norris is slightly unnerved while looking at him. People think sunglasses were invented because we needed to shield our eyes from the sun. But really it's to shield them from JC's awsome augmented eyes. If he were to look at someone without that barrier they would imediatley be forced into a long drawn out intellectual debate.

Come up with more JC jokes guys.

JablesKage
26th Jun 2010, 15:49
huh???

luminar
26th Jun 2010, 15:59
You know like chuck norris jokes only for JC! It's just for fun!

xsamitt
26th Jun 2010, 16:10
You know like chuck Norris jokes only for JC! It's just for fun!

Don't worry about it.I get your humor,quite good infact.I'd help out but I'm in a bad way.:mad2::lol:

Angel-A
26th Jun 2010, 16:14
I raise you THIS SITE I MADE: JC Denton facts. (http://jcdentonfacts.110mb.com)

luminar
26th Jun 2010, 16:14
Why thank you! That's alright comedy can't be forced.

luminar
26th Jun 2010, 16:15
I raise you THIS SITE I MADE: http://jcdentonfacts.110mb.com

Did you just make that or has that been around? Thats really good stuff!

Angel-A
26th Jun 2010, 16:24
Did you just make that or has that been around? Thats really good stuff!

I actually made that 'round the start of this year.
:D

luminar
26th Jun 2010, 16:28
Pretty damn good man! I applaud you.

xsamitt
26th Jun 2010, 16:38
Just finished reading it.You have a talent there.Loved it.

Pretentious Old Man.
26th Jun 2010, 16:40
JC does not need explosive devices to cause an explosion. He merely speaks a code phrase "a bomb".

atLaNt1s
26th Jun 2010, 16:47
JC was taking a swim and ran into a ship, not accidentaly, the ship was titanic

Angel-A
26th Jun 2010, 17:00
In light of this thread, I created this:
http://i113.photobucket.com/albums/n202/Starsiege_/The-Powuh-of-JC.png

Pinky_Powers
27th Jun 2010, 04:35
The last time JC Denton set foot in a church even God couldn't stop what happened next.

super...
27th Jun 2010, 04:43
when in space up and down are determined by your position relative to JC Denton.

Fluffis
27th Jun 2010, 04:52
That's not tens of thousands of football fans with Vuvuzelas. That's JC Denton with one.

He thought the Tower of Pisa was the wrong angle for leaning against, so he made it better.

He pointed at Dan Brown and laughed.

He pointed at Chuck Norris and laughed.

Dead-Eye
27th Jun 2010, 05:50
http://i160.photobucket.com/albums/t171/Dingo_Master/EpicDenton_2.jpg

ArcR
27th Jun 2010, 14:41
And God said, Let there be light: so JC hit F12 and there was light.

xsamitt
27th Jun 2010, 14:43
And God said, Let there be light: so JC hit F12 and there was light.

Now that is priceless.:D

Pinky_Powers
27th Jun 2010, 14:45
And God said, Let there be light: so JC hit F12 and there was light.

Ace material there! I lol'ed.

Fluffis
27th Jun 2010, 14:46
And God said, Let there be light: so JC hit F12 and there was light.

Kick-ass! :lol:

ArcR
27th Jun 2010, 14:47
thx :) ... I got nothing else now. heh

atLaNt1s
27th Jun 2010, 18:13
And God said, Let there be light: so JC hit F12 and there was light.

lulz, good good

TrickyVein
27th Jun 2010, 19:19
http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/9709/jcwaterfall.jpg

super...
27th Jun 2010, 19:27
denton waterfall sandwich? that beats the hell out of Spock sunset pie

Badmaker
27th Jun 2010, 19:38
While GOD walked on water, JC can swim in sand.

Dead-Eye
27th Jun 2010, 19:40
This thread reminds me of this thread:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2790337&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1
Too bad the pictures are removed cuzz it doesn't make sense now.

TrickyVein
27th Jun 2010, 19:49
^^ classic.

Fluffis
27th Jun 2010, 20:02
... when he orders a pizza, it is there in under 30 minutes.

ChfMojoRising
27th Jun 2010, 20:08
... when he orders a pizza, it is there in under 30 minutes.

If he feels like delivering a pizza, it's there in under 30 micro-seconds.

Mindmute
27th Jun 2010, 22:26
JC's glasses don't protect his eyes from sun. They protect the sun from his eyes.

ChfMojoRising
27th Jun 2010, 23:05
JC's glasses don't protect his eyes from sun. They protect the sun from his eyes. Because his eyes are augmented, you know.

fixed ;)

Dead-Eye
27th Jun 2010, 23:12
JC Denton can dispatch squads without any arms and legs.

Fluffis
27th Jun 2010, 23:15
When JC went to Japan, he thought the Shinkansen wasn't fast enough so he just got out and walked.

Gizmostuff
27th Jun 2010, 23:17
This thread reminds me of this thread:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2790337&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1
Too bad the pictures are removed cuzz it doesn't make sense now.

Thank you for this!

This also reminds me of a great Deus ex intro text someone converted about IW on the Ion Storm forums. I wish I could find that again. Funny stuff!

Angel-A
27th Jun 2010, 23:20
JC Denton doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.

JC Denton will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't so foolish as to try attacking him.

When JC is crossing the street, it is the cars that have to look both ways.

JC Denton can, in fact, "Raise da roof". And he does it with one hand.

When he debates, JC is not politically correct, he is just correct. Are you going to argue with that?

JC Denton sneezes static electricity.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on the true story of the baby turtles JC used to have as pets.

Remington
27th Jun 2010, 23:34
Over there! In the distance!


NNNNNklx0XNNNNXOkKNXXNXNN00WMNNWWWWWNNNXNWMMMNNWWWNXX0OXWMWNNNNWWNXXXXXXXKKKKXK0
XXXNWXK0KNNWNNXKKOkK000Oko:;,'.',;:cc:::cxKNWXXWMW00K0KNWWWWNNNXKKXK0000KKKKOOKK
0KXXXNWWNNWWNXXX0kO0ko,. .l0XNWWW0xold0KXNNNXXXK0xx00kOKXXKK0KXX
0KNNXXXXXNNKO0KKKX0:. .oKNNXKd:''ckKNNXXNNXKkdodxkkOKXXXNX0K
XNNNNK00XXX00KXNXO. .l0KKOdlodxOXXXKKKXK0OOKK0O00K0OKXKKK
XXK0O0XXK0OOKXXXXl .cOK000KXKXNkxk00KK000KNKOkkkxxxxk0X
0K0kxk0K0kOOKXXKX, .ckKXKKKKXN0dkO0KKKK0OOdldOKXXK0KXK
0K0xxkOKNN0kx0KXk. ,lkKXKK0KNXkkO0XNXK000kdkOOXNXXNNN
XXK0KKK00XXXKKKNx .'cx0KK00KK00OOKXX00KXK0K0KNNXXNNN
NNNX0xd0KKXXK00Kc .,lxKKKXKKK0O00KK00XNNK0KXNNNNNWN
XOKXKkONNXXKKX0x' .;oOKK0kk0000KK000KKOOKNNWWWNNWW
KXWXKKXXXK00KXkd' .:xKOkxkKK0KXKxo0KKOOXNNWWWNNNN
doOxlOKK00kdolol. 'cdxOXKOxkKXKxl,,cOKOk0XNNWNNNXKK
dccl:;,.. ..',;:oxOO0KOOdl;;:okkxold0NNNWNNNNKK0
;'. . ..;:ldkkkkkkkxxdddddl::::,'',:kKXNNNNWWNXK0K
. ............... .;ok0OkkKXNNNWWWNXKXN
.................'''''.. .... ..,lk0KKK0OO0KXNNNNNNN0OXN
.''',;;,,'...',;;;;;;,....',:lOKKKOOKKK0KK00KXXNNNX0dxKX
. .;;;:c::;;;;::;;;;;;;:;:cclcoddOXOONNNXXXXKKK0KNNXOod0K0
Ko;. .. .. ..;:::cccclllllc:::;;;:llclodxOoo0KNNXXKKXXKOk0XNNXOxk00x
XXKkl;. ,;''''..':cccccllllooollcc:::cldoodxkXKkONNXKKXXX0kxOKKK0OxxOOkk
NNXOdxdlc::,'. .::,','.';cccclllloooollc:;;::cldlodkK00KXXX0Okk00OOKKK0OxdkOkO0
KXXKkoclxkk0K0c .::;,'.',::ccccclooollc::::lllodlcoO0x0XX0kdlodkkk0KKKKOkxkkk0X
0kOOx::loxxOKXx. .,cc;''',;:cccclllllc:;;;;;,;;;;:l0XK0kddxxkkkoxO000KKOxxddOKK
KK0Od;;ckKK0O00, .;:,''',::ccllllc:;;,,,;,.','';xXXXKklOXOOO0OkxxOK0kxoodOKK0
kKXkdkkKKK0k0X0o. ';'...',;:cclc;,'',,',,'.,;:;o0XOO00dd0OOKK0kxxddkxllk000kk
N0xodOKXKKXOxkxoc. ':'..'',,;;:c,'';;;;;;;;;:ldc:kK00KKOOOOO0OOOkocoxocd00Okkk
X0c:c:kKKOOkdl:odl;,,::;'..''',,;;,',clllollclodOdo000K0O00OodOOOOxlcodlokkkOOOO
0dcc,cxxxOOxd;:olcoO0cccc:'....'''',,;;;;:;;,',;lkKK0Okkk00kcoxOOxool;,cdk0000Ok
OOdo:ooc:c:cl;cddol,:;:cccc;'.....''''',''''',,:kKXKOxdO0KKxcodkxlcod:,:okkkkOO0
kdlcokddl,:olckXXk; :o,,:ccc:,.....',,,,,,,;;;;cx0dOKkxOKKOccooxxocoo;,cdxkkOKKK
0o:,lkKXl':okK0K0, ,kl.',;:::;,......',,''.'',,::clOX0KKKkoolldxocl:',lodk0KKKK
ddoodoldc',dKK0x' .dxo,.',;;:::;,,'''...':,'.. .:cl00XNX0OOddxOOd:',:loxxkO000
dkxxkolc:c:;:,. lxxxc,',;;::;;;;;;;;;;:,'.. .:clOokNNXX00KXNNKxlccldxxxkxxx
cdc''codkko. .cldxccc;;::::;;;;,,,,;,....':coxl;oXNXOxk0XNNNKKKKK0kdookO
'..:kXKd,. ..,l.dOxo::::;;;;,,,,,'''..:lcdo;..,lOKkcoKKXNNOo;lK0kOkkd
.,0Xkl. ...,:'cxxxc::;;;;;;;;,,,'.'d,cOdOd...'cxkoKxcONNNk,.ookN0d
.:c'. ','',;'cdxxl::;;;;;:;;,,.,kxcOXKOO..;;..,cxk:,codO0d':o00d
. '::c:oolloxkkdc;;;;;,,,.;0KOKXXX0x..ckx'..':lo. .. ;kO.
.;:clc:loloodxxdl:;,,,'.xNNXNX000x. .;kKd;',;oc:. 'O:
. ,c:::;coodxddddxoc,'.;XWNXXX0Okd, .oKNOcl, ., ,k
... .. .... 'lccl:cdddxxkkkkko;.cWWWNWN0Okoc. 'xXNN, .d
. 'ollo:cxkxxkkk0K0k:cWWWNWKOOkdl; ,d0k, .''. .
..,, 'oooocck00OkxOK0OkdXWWWNkxkxddc' .xOXc :okXKOl.
.. 'ddddllO000OkxxddlOWWW0xdkkddoc. ::cKNd;c,ck0kkk
. ;doxdooO000Okxdo:oNNKOkxxkxdooc.., c. .xNxc:;lcokO
;ddxdld0K00OOOOxl0KOkxxxkkxool:.. .c :Oxcxxclc,
:xxxdlkK00OO0Okcx0Okkkxkkkdllc;. .o' 'lOKxdc'..
cxxxokKK0000Oxco0OOkxxkOkxolll. .;kl..,''ook0c
. .cxOkx0KK0000klc0OOkkkkOOOxoloc. .kO' ...cloOXx.
.. .oOOx0XXK0000kl0OOO00OOOOOxlldc. oWo .:dx0KXXWO

Aww JC Denton already killed it.

JC-Denton
27th Jun 2010, 23:46
If I respond to this thread, somewhere in Eidos a server is on fire.:cool:

PlasmaSnake101
28th Jun 2010, 00:34
"Walton Simons activated JC Denton's kill-switch; 24 hours later, Walton Simons died."

From that one site. It's funny because it's true.

MaxxQ1
28th Jun 2010, 01:29
Thank you for this!

This also reminds me of a great Deus ex intro text someone converted about IW on the Ion Storm forums. I wish I could find that again. Funny stuff!

You mean this one?


Deus Ex Intro parody by MurderKing:

Spector:
Your appointment to Microsoft should be finalized within the week. I've already discussed the matter with Eidos.

Smith:
I take it they were agreeable?

Spector:
They didn't really have a choice.

Smith:
Have they been infected?

Spector:
Oh, yes, most certainly. When I mentioned that we could push more copies on the XBox, they were so willing it was almost pathetic.

Smith:
This demo - the rioting is intensifying to the point where we may not be able to contain it.

Spector:
Why contain it? Let it spill over into the fan sites and chatrooms, let the posts pile up on the server. In the end, they'll beg us to ship it.

Smith:
I've received reports of armed attacks on team members. There's not enough of us to placate them, the PC gamers are starting to get desperate.

Spector:
Of course they're desperate. They can smell their death, and the sound they'll make rattling their cage will serve as a warning to the Thief fans.

Smith:
Mmm. I hope you're not underestimating the problem. The others may not go as quietly as you think - they've had two games done properly, rather than just one, after all.

Spector:
A bunch of pretentious old men posting on TTLG.

But the world left them behind long ago. Consoles are the future.

Smith:
We have other problems.

Spector:
The mod community?

Smith:
Formed by passion for good gaming, and a desire to be involved. I have someone in place, though. I'm concerned they'll take matters into their own hands.

Spector:
Our development skills are far in advance of theirs, as is our distribution system. And their... ethical inflexibility has allowed us to make progress in areas they refuse to consider.

Smith:
Universal ammo?

Spector:
Among other things - but I must admit that I've been somewhat disappointed in the performance of the primary unit.

Spector:
We've had to endure much, you and I, but soon there will be order again, a new age. Gates spoke of the mythical City on the Hill. Soon that city will be a reality, and we will be crowned its kings.

Or better than kings. Microsoft lackeys!

hem dazon 90
28th Jun 2010, 02:19
JC is so awesome that he doesn't need good voice acting or characterization!

Gizmostuff
28th Jun 2010, 10:07
You mean this one?

Hehe. That's it. Thanks! Where did you find it?

MaxxQ1
28th Jun 2010, 15:40
Hehe. That's it. Thanks! Where did you find it?

I've had it burned on a disc for about 5 years now, and it was saved on my harddrive for a couple years before that.

Also, I just c&p fom this thread (where I also posted it):

http://forums.eidosgames.com/showthread.php?t=110326

itsalladream
28th Jun 2010, 16:59
Even the Black Knight backed down when JC challenged him.

Angel-A
28th Jun 2010, 17:40
JC Denton never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

The United States could have saved billions in defense funding if they hadn't pissed off JC so much.

"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie, it's also what JC Denton calls the pile of dead in his front yard.

K^2
28th Jun 2010, 18:37
The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when JC Denton punched himself. The sheer magnitude of the act resulted in time stopping for seven days while JC Denton recreated the world.
Fixed that for you.

Angel-A
29th Jun 2010, 18:26
Fixed that for you.
Need hiliarious and sort of quasi-true sounding things, not "LOLOLOLCHUCKNORRIS" ridiculous things.

AT ANY RATE: JC Denton doesn't play god. Playing is for children. :hmm:

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that JC Denton's PC will crash.
Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in JC Denton's kindergarten class.
Why did JC Denton cross the road? I don't know. No one dares question his motives.
JC Denton trick-or-treated as himself as a child.

I love this thread.

VastShadowz41
29th Jun 2010, 18:49
I raise you THIS SITE I MADE: JC Denton facts. (http://jcdentonfacts.110mb.com)

Hilarious man! I award you with +1000 Internets. :D

TrickyVein
29th Jun 2010, 21:41
Hot, straight from SA! (well, maybe a little cool, but a gem nonetheless)

http://i.somethingawful.com/u/Viconia/Game_Video/HastyDeparture___Deus_Ex.png

mad_red
29th Jun 2010, 22:31
God cannot create a rock that JC cannot lift... while carrying God in his other hand.

luminar
29th Jun 2010, 22:40
Hot, straight from SA! (well, maybe a little cool, but a gem nonetheless)

http://i.somethingawful.com/u/Viconia/Game_Video/HastyDeparture___Deus_Ex.png

Excellent! We need more pics of JC being epic!

Angel-A
30th Jun 2010, 07:24
Hilarious man! I award you with +1000 Internets. :D
Internets, you say? (http://internetometer.com/give/9352)


Excellent! We need more pics of JC being epic!
Welp, I found this. Is this epic enough?
http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs15/f/2007/075/c/f/Deus_Ex_by_NoBullet.png

luminar
2nd Jul 2010, 18:54
Internets, you say? (http://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://internetometer.com/give/9352)


Welp, I found this. Is this epic enough?
http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs15/f/2007/075/c/f/Deus_Ex_by_NoBullet.png

Yes! Yes it is!

Dead-Eye
2nd Jul 2010, 21:36
Bill Gates lives in constant fear that JC Denton's PC will crash.


JC Denton doesn't use windows. He created his own operating system from scratch. Not even the worlds most powerful A.I. super computers can stop JC from hacking.

Angel-A
3rd Jul 2010, 04:05
JC Denton doesn't use windows. He created his own operating system from scratch. Not even the worlds most powerful A.I. super computers can stop JC from hacking.

What happens if Helios crashes?

Pinky_Powers
3rd Jul 2010, 04:54
What happens if Helios crashes?

Then JC springs gaily from his hydrotube and dances a vigorous two-step while the machine reboots.

Rindill the Red
3rd Jul 2010, 06:35
When JC starts counting, you start running right away Goddammit!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IgOKduU05t4

Angel-A
5th Jul 2010, 03:31
Oh gawd (http://blog.esaba.com/projects/facts/index.php?n=JC Denton&g=male)
SO, I found an instant random fact generator. :D If anyone really good ones come up, do post them.



This thread seriously needs a picture of J.C. kicking Chuck Norris's ass.

And... A J.C. version of this: Awesome? (http://mrldust.files.wordpress.com/2009/02/12256707082401.jpg)

Dead-Eye
5th Jul 2010, 05:34
Chuck Norris is fear incarnate. To bad fear is afraid of JC Denton.

Pinky_Powers
5th Jul 2010, 05:36
This thread seriously needs a picture of J.C. kicking Chuck Norris's ass.

YES! I may have to do one of those! But it will have to wait until after I'm finished with my current drawing.

xsamitt
5th Jul 2010, 14:04
J.C Denton taught Chuck berry how to play guitar.:whistle:

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=AEq62iQo0eU&playnext_from=TL&videos=8GdgCKX-qII

Angel-A
6th Jul 2010, 19:19
YES! I may have to do one of those! But it will have to wait until after I'm finished with my current drawing.

Great justice and good in the world will be achieved if you were to draw such a thing.

Pinky_Powers
6th Jul 2010, 19:36
Great justice and good in the world will be achieved if you were to draw such a thing.

I'm working on it right now, actually. I just did the set-up in Poser. Now I'll use that as a reference for the prelim.

Angel-A
12th Jul 2010, 22:13
"Why are you always playing by yourself?"
"I'm not playing, I'm fricking serious."
-J.C. Denton, age 8.

xsamitt
12th Jul 2010, 22:14
"Why are you always playing by yourself?"
"I'm not playing, I'm fricking serious."
-J.C. Denton, age 8.

Now that's the quote of the day.:whistle:

Rindill the Red
13th Jul 2010, 03:34
When people cross the street, they look both ways.

When JC crosses the street, cars look both ways.

JC Denton has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.

People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply...JC Denton, unless there is some sort of conspiracy in our government, then we're ****ed.

Old wives will tell you that "If you keep fiddling with that you will go blind." JC never listened, his eyes are augmented.

"When the cat's away, JC probably killed it."



Some people say JC is a myth... those people have obviously never met JC. - Just a fact... not a joke.

JC Denton wasn't born... he wasnt, actually he was genetically engineered and grown in a tube.

Angel-A
13th Jul 2010, 05:54
Knock Knock! Who's there? It's--Wait, it's not JC. He doesn't knock, he picks locks.

Police label anyone attacking JC Denton as a Code 45-11... a suicide.

JC Denton does division, and there are no remainders.

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs JC Denton. The film was greatly modified in this regard shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen minutes long.

JC doesn't need a miracle to part water, he just needs to give it a certain look and it'll move out of the way on its own.

JC Denton actually built the stairway to heaven.

Some rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a JC Denton fight.

Invisible War is what happens automatically when you try to follow up JC Denton. Think you're better than JC? Ha ha.

We live in an expanding universe. Expanding, away from JC Denton.

When somebody yells "Last one in is a rotten egg", everyone except JC Denton is the rotten egg.

PizzaNo1
19th Jul 2010, 07:08
Even if JC "hides" behind a obvious spot, even a blind guineaping could figure out, his enemies just pretends like they imagined it, because they dont want to anger him. Everyone knows 'its not wise to anger JC'
And gods forbid, DONT disturb JC when if is using the computer!

JC doesn't need to Oc he just stares evily, on the computer and he'll get instant 5000% increase, without heat increase since JC simply makes it keep cool.

Dead-Eye
19th Jul 2010, 18:15
Just a glance at JC Denton strikes so much fear into his enemies that they try to pretend it's not real for 3 seconds.

Edit: ^^ No one ever risks looking behind a crate that JC Denton is hiding behind.

FrankCSIS
21st Jul 2010, 18:22
Even if JC "hides" behind a obvious spot, even a blind guineaping could figure out, his enemies just pretends like they imagined it, because they dont want to anger him. Everyone knows 'its not wise to anger JC'
And gods forbid, DONT disturb JC when if is using the computer!

Everybody knows where JC is. The problem isn't finding him, the problem is who wants to cross JC.

PizzaNo1
25th Jul 2010, 11:52
If jc ever steals anything from your home, you'll know, because your entire home will be gone! Even if its a flat!

Angel-A
3rd Aug 2010, 01:25
J.C. Denton beat the odds. With his fists.