PDA

View Full Version : The Gigantic Book of Shipping needs contributions.



SlashPrower
24th Jun 2010, 15:35
What is the Gigantic Book of Shipping? WELL, I'M GLAD YOU HYPOTHETICALLY ASKED *ahem*

It's a large tome that discusses shipping in different media, written by someone who is a continuity Nazi and doesn't really like shippers in general. It looks at how different existing characters could be paired without breaking character, if existing characters could be paired with original characters, and the sort of relationship that would most likely entail. For each media, there are also a few notes on what original characters would work, when in the timeline it would probably be best to write the story, and a bunch of other notes that I'll be skipping over for you guys since none of you would ever write fanfiction, so it would be pointless and boring.

I will also be skipping the introduction, since that was also directed towards other fanfiction writers and simply explained the purpose of this thing. Let's skip straight to the shipping notes.

-Kane and Lynch series-

(Here's where a few notes went about the series, you guys already know this. It said that the best place to make the fanfiction is in the 3 years between Dead Men and Dog Days.)

OC: (This was where I described what OC was best. Should have flaws, decent skills limited to one or two fields, tragic past is okay but should not be played for sympathy, blah blah blah...basically, if you read Last Stand then you know what I mean.)

-Shipping-

Kane/ OC: Highly implausible on all counts. Immediately you're narrowed down to the space between Dead Men and Dog Days, because in Dead Men he's either trying to save his wife or has just lost his wife. Just don't try that. Dog Days is also out, for reasons that I'll explain later. You could maybe try just a bit before Dog Days, after it's been 2- 2.5 years since she died, but then you run into another problem. Kane's personality. He's not going to break down and admit everything bad he's done to your character and you're not going to go live happily ever after. He's quite the sociopath, actually, and tends to use people like tools to get what he wants. He's also a filthy traitor, so don't expect much loyalty.

Are you going to get some meaningful relationship with your character and Kane? Lol, no. The only one that I can think of as plausible is him cruelly manipulating your OC like a puppet to get something he wants that only your OC could do. Which would be amusing to watch. So, that's how you can get a relationship- give her the means to get something he wants. Just make sure that the character is thrown away the second your character is no longer of any use.

Lynch/ OC: More possible, but less likely. If you want to set your story in between Dead Men and Dog Days, or even in Dead Men, this is rather plausible. Dog Days is a big N-O, because 1.) the game takes place in the span of two days, not enough time to set anything up and 2.) he's spending the entire game trying to save his existing girlfriend, Xiu, so any advances your character made would likely piss him right the **** off.

But say that your character is in a story long before he ever met Xiu. You could totally give this a shot. As long as your character isn't one of the perfect Sues or tragic emo whiners we discussed in the OC section, it's possible. But here's why I completely discourage trying this.

Lynch is a goddamn time bomb. You have a limited time before he snaps and bashes your character's head in with a steel pipe. And don't try to play it off like he loves your character so much that she could stop him- his wife couldn't, and your character certainly couldn't. Here's what the relationship would be- a self-destructive masochistic tango that ends in your character's death, or at best your character leaving him and getting right the **** out of there before he can kill her. If he does kill her, he's not going to admit that he did it, or even try to get serious help or anything. He'll be somewhat depressed, I'm sure, but eventually he'll get over it.

Can you do that? Make a relationship in which your character suffers, gets very little for that suffering, and eventually dies without that death having a really significant effect on the other person in the relationship?

No? Then don't try.

Kane/ Lynch: Are you a parodic writer looking to subtly imply a secret attraction being the driving point for a few key points in the story, making the existing scenes hilarious when seen in a new light? No?

Then **** no. Not possible, not plausible, don't ******* do it.

-Nightmare On Elm Street-

(Once again, notes that taking place after the 5th or 6th movie is best, but it has to be long after the 6th movie.)

OC: (No amazing dream powers that can defeat Freddy unless there's a damn good reason, other than that any sort of teenager will do as long as they're not perfect or obnoxiously tragic.)

-Shipping-

Only one possible here, unless you're pairing with the daughter chick who survived the sixth movie (go ahead, that's easy to do and perfectly possible). Here's the only one, which is sadly common.

Krueger/ OC: Pffffthahahahahaha no. Not happening. You're trying to hook up with a completely insane, extremely manic, immortal child killer. Who the hell do you think you are? This doesn't work on any level with any character, and it just can't be done without massive character derailment.

Here's the closest you can get: have Krueger rape your character before killing them.


______________________________


And that's what I've got so far. What I need is YOU, yes, YOU, to give me a story or a game or whatever so that I can make these notes. The funnier, the better. And don't give me some anime that I've never heard about and don't give a **** about, I probably won't even try.

Already working on Silent Hill, so don't suggest that.

GrievousOdyssey
24th Jun 2010, 17:16
I HAVE NO GOD DAMN CLUE JUST WHAT THE **** IS GOING ON HERE SO I'M NOT GOING TO POST ANYTHING ...

PS : so it's confirmed that there's a three year span between Dog Days and Dead Men ? ... do really take place in 2010 and 2007 ? ...

SlashPrower
24th Jun 2010, 17:17
Yeah, Karsten Lund said in an interview that 3 years take place between Dead Men and Dog Days.

And I'm just going around to different message boards and grabbing suggestions so that I can make an epic tome, then use my interweb friends to spread it around. I'm also getting other contributors, but I'm not taking anyone from this site since I need other fanfiction writers.

Then the percentage of fanfictions that are terrible will drop down from 90% to 87% thanks to my noble efforts.

MxOAgentJohnson
24th Jun 2010, 17:26
I dont know whats going on also, major tl;dr