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Acid_Burn
10th May 2010, 23:24
A shot from Cannes
http://img243.imageshack.us/img243/3574/98630799.th.jpg (http://img243.imageshack.us/i/98630799.jpg/)

killingroad1986
11th May 2010, 01:11
Here is the plot synopsis:

"Kane is a mercenary. Lynch is a schizophrenic with no past. They meet while being transported to Death Row. When they are attacked and kidnapped by Kane's former team, the ill-matched duo is forced to retrieve a stolen microchip that may hold the key to Lynch's true identity."

Not only did they cast Jamie Fox as Lynch but they took the story and completely butchered it as well. Lynch has no past? The secret to his identity is held on a microchip? This is ****ed! :mad2:

JackGordon
11th May 2010, 01:19
^ :confused: Wait, has this been confirmed? This is a joke, right?

killingroad1986
11th May 2010, 01:36
No joke.

http://movies.ign.com/articles/108/1088617p1.html

JackGordon
11th May 2010, 01:47
*facepalm* They might as well have Uwe Boll direct this...

Arsh
11th May 2010, 04:17
The first poster was leaked from Cannes:

http://moviesmedia.ign.com/movies/image/article/108/1088617/kane-lynch-promo-boxart_1273535905.jpg

Kinda like the design. Bit generic, but I like it.

Here's the official description:


"Kane is a mercenary. Lynch is a schizophrenic with no past. They meet while being transported to Death Row. When they are attacked and kidnapped by Kane's former team, the ill-matched duo is forced to retrieve a stolen microchip that may hold the key to Lynch's true identity."

True identity? What?

From here:

http://movies.ign.com/articles/108/1088617p1.html

Edit:

Another one from Kotaku:

http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/9/2010/05/500x_kane.jpg

Mercenary of The7
11th May 2010, 05:28
The description makes it sound pretty good until the whole microchip part. From a good crime action movie, to some government conspiracy bull...

Zidrien
11th May 2010, 05:48
It dosen't look too bad, as long as they make it as gritty as the game.

UhUh
11th May 2010, 06:44
At the end Lynch finds out he was white all along.

Bevacur
11th May 2010, 06:44
Lynch's past... let me guess, he is some super soldier or something? I stopped reading at microchip. Shipment of fail heading towards Kyle Ward station. Collision imminent! Evacuate now!

Bevacur
11th May 2010, 06:47
Please evacuate guys, shipment of fail heading for Kyle Ward station. Warning, danger ahead!

It's a shame the story is like this, why do film makers completely destroy the story and replace with a crap one? *cough* Doom *cough*. I'm betting on a 12% reception. Please take a bet guys.

zephyr1991
11th May 2010, 07:15
First: Lynch isn't black...

Second: Lynch knows who he is, he just doesn't want to face the reality he killed his wife

Third: Lynch isn't black

Fourth: The actual game itself was in essence a great plot for a movie. Possibly less traveling but none the less!

Fifth: Lynch isn't black


If you ask me, it seems the film company asked someone to play the game, in which they stopped after the second chapter in the mall, replaced stolen loot with microchip and slapped on a title.

YoungZer0
11th May 2010, 08:21
If you ask me, it seems the film company asked someone to play the game, in which they stopped after the second chapter in the mall...

Also called the Gerstmann-Syndrome.

Back to topic:

http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/5499/doublefacepalma.jpg

BBboy20
11th May 2010, 08:22
Are they going to make them more anti-hero then villain? S***. =/

zephyr1991
11th May 2010, 09:00
Also called the Gerstmann-Syndrome

I thought Gerstmann-Syndrome was basically having extreme trouble with reading, writing, spelling, and basic mathematics skills. Don't know what you mean :hmm:.

YoungZer0
11th May 2010, 09:11
I thought Gerstmann-Syndrome was basically having extreme trouble with reading, writing, spelling, and basic mathematics skills. Don't know what you mean :hmm:.

That is just part of it. What i meant specifically is that according to Gerstmann's 360 Profile, he didn't finish the third level.

JackGordon
11th May 2010, 10:24
I wonder what the guys at IO think of this... With Hollywood practically butchering their creation.

jam13
11th May 2010, 15:34
Wow ! Is it Die Hard 3.5 ? :mad2::mad2:
47 must kill Ultimate Lynch in the movie ending . :nut:

petersjov
11th May 2010, 16:33
well, im interestet, i think it sounds awesome, but strange with bruce, that we have not heard more about it...

BeardedHoplite
11th May 2010, 17:14
Anybody notice that Lynch's skullet is gone :mad2:
I need three things. A picture of Bruce Willis as Kane, a gun and Kyle Ward's home address

YoungZer0
11th May 2010, 18:38
Anybody notice that Lynch's skullet is gone :mad2:
I need three things. A picture of Bruce Willis as Kane, a gun and Kyle Ward's home address

It's just promo material. I doubt the actual actors were involved at all.

Arsh
11th May 2010, 19:22
http://moviesmedia.ign.com/movies/image/article/108/1088617/kane-lynch-cannes-art1_1273603119.jpg

chaoticd
11th May 2010, 20:03
i was thinking. i might be completly wrong here, but it seems like the story might actually be true towards the game. The briefcase that Kane takes in the Retemoto tower (if i remember correctly) didnt show its contents and never actually said what it contained. Everyone always says it contains money to pay the 7, but if money is ALL he needs, why not take the money that flew around when he destroyed the boxes in the vault? there should had been enough money in that bank for him. I believe there is a slight chance that a microchip could have been in the briefcase with or without money or extra containments. the summery they gave about the movie so far was only a small concept. How do you know that Lynch dosnt have more in his past that isn't mentioned in the first game? The chip has the possibility (if it actually has the possibility of existing like i said above) of containing files about Lynch and background the players did not know.

this is a possibility. Not saying its fact, but its the best i can figure.

YoungZer0
11th May 2010, 20:17
I say Lynch is a super secret government experiment. The chip is going to be implanted under his skin and he's going to go rampage with his new super powers!

Arsh
11th May 2010, 20:56
i was thinking. i might be completly wrong here, but it seems like the story might actually be true towards the game. The briefcase that Kane takes in the Retemoto tower (if i remember correctly) didnt show its contents and never actually said what it contained. Everyone always says it contains money to pay the 7, but if money is ALL he needs, why not take the money that flew around when he destroyed the boxes in the vault? there should had been enough money in that bank for him. I believe there is a slight chance that a microchip could have been in the briefcase with or without money or extra containments. the summery they gave about the movie so far was only a small concept. How do you know that Lynch dosnt have more in his past that isn't mentioned in the first game? The chip has the possibility (if it actually has the possibility of existing like i said above) of containing files about Lynch and background the players did not know.

this is a possibility. Not saying its fact, but its the best i can figure.

Wasn't it diamonds that were in the case?

BeardedHoplite
11th May 2010, 21:19
^ That's what I thought it was

chaoticd
11th May 2010, 22:21
Wasn't it diamonds that were in the case?

i dont remember honestly, but even if there were diamonds in the case, theres still a possibility of more being inside it .

One of Seven
11th May 2010, 22:59
Ugh, Jamie Foxx.........

JackGordon
12th May 2010, 01:25
even if there were diamonds in the case, theres still a possibility of more being inside it .
:rolleyes: Sorry chaoticd, I'm not buying it. That's what the US film industry does and will always do: take a good idea and multiply it by 'stupid'.

zephyr1991
12th May 2010, 04:03
:rolleyes: Sorry chaoticd, I'm not buying it. That's what the US film industry does and will always do: take a good idea and multiply it by 'stupid'.

I always thought that inside the cases were pictures of The 7 when they got ****faced at last years Christmas party. Minus Kane of course, because he took the pictures and ran.

JackGordon
12th May 2010, 09:28
^ He ran with the pics...? That feckin' traitor :lol:

chaoticd
12th May 2010, 10:12
^ He ran with the pics...? That feckin' traitor :lol:

thats legendary. love it. :lol:

YoungZer0
12th May 2010, 12:03
Wasn't it diamonds that were in the case?

Never mentioned. Never shown.

JackGordon
12th May 2010, 12:56
Maybe there were really comfortable slippers inside the case, who knows?

sublime90
12th May 2010, 13:31
yeah i saw this posted on IO's twitter feed and besides the obvious casting fail i have a feeling im not going to like this movie. i will see it though. i really think bruce will be able to pull off kane and i really like jamie foxx, but can he really be that good of an actor to pull off a psycho balding white man? prove me wrong jamie. just saying if it was denzel id be on board 100%

sigrun
12th May 2010, 14:56
You know, I've been thinking about this film and I am willing to give it the benefit of the doubt.

I mean it's interesting that they've taken steps to make it seem like they've unknowingly got it all wrong, when obviously if they wanted a cash in it wouldn't be difficult to just translate the game to a movie. The poster doesn't look like kane and lynch, but that doesn't mean it isn't going to be a solid action film, and don't think people should get hung up on it not being like the game.

It could still be rubbish but I'd need to see a trailer before I really make judgment.

chaoticd
12th May 2010, 19:49
so i got bored a school and used the most crappy editing tool ever made, but this is funny.
URL=http://img263.imageshack.us/i/wtfuj.gif/]http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/3484/wtfuj.gif[/URL]

BeardedHoplite
12th May 2010, 20:53
Never mentioned. Never shown.

Like the case in Pulp Fiction...
Is anyone at IO a Tarentino fan?

chaoticd
13th May 2010, 00:08
so i got bored a school and used the most crappy editing tool ever made, but this is funny.
URL=http://img263.imageshack.us/i/wtfuj.gif/]http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/3484/wtfuj.gif[/URL]

WTF? the S dissapeared when i posted it???? forum glitch!!! what did i do IO?

ohitspatty
13th May 2010, 07:58
I'm impressed with how much more they are willing to f' it up. You gotta give them credit for that. So far, it's pretty damn bad...what's next they take and ruin perfect plot to make it more Hollywood like? Wait...never mind.

For a moment, I was hoping that the script was a joke. I guess they think it's all a joke.

zephyr1991
14th May 2010, 04:26
^ He ran with the pics...? That feckin' traitor :lol:

I was hoping someone was going to think of that. :)

Bevacur
14th May 2010, 14:27
I'm impressed with how much more they are willing to f' it up. You gotta give them credit for that. So far, it's pretty damn bad...what's next they take and ruin perfect plot to make it more Hollywood like? Wait...never mind.

For a moment, I was hoping that the script was a joke. I guess they think it's all a joke.

Didn't you know? Kyle Ward has a degree in ******* things up, Diploma of sucking eggs and a certificate of failure.

ohitspatty
17th May 2010, 21:38
Good one. That really made me laugh out loud. Surprisingly his other script was pretty cool, if he only/actually played K&L Dog Days maybe it would have made sense.

SlashPrower
18th May 2010, 22:47
God damn it all my hopes are dashed now.

Also, Lynch's secret is that he's the Highlander. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE. >___O

Brackstone17
18th May 2010, 23:33
Lynch's secret is that he used to work for Cadbury and the microchip contains the secret of how they get the Caramel in the Caramilk bar.

ohitspatty
19th May 2010, 18:29
In the script, secret was that Lynch was in some kind government project that made him kill his wife or some bull like that. I don't remember it was a very sad, sad script.

Bevacur
19th May 2010, 21:42
Lynch's secret is that he used to work for Cadbury and the microchip contains the secret of how they get the Caramel in the Caramilk bar.

I need too know!

Zidrien
22nd May 2010, 06:56
Does anyone have a link or anything at all to the script?

ohitspatty
22nd May 2010, 17:46
Sure you can download off MediaFire here:
Click This Link (http://www.mediafire.com/?uo2jxyii2tv)

Zidrien
23rd May 2010, 00:54
Great, thanks!

ohitspatty
23rd May 2010, 03:18
Haha yeah no problem. Just don't expect it to be even half decent.

Zidrien
23rd May 2010, 03:57
Uh oh, I smell another terrible video game movie coming up...

SlashPrower
23rd May 2010, 13:23
In the script, secret was that Lynch was in some kind government project that made him kill his wife or some bull like that. I don't remember it was a very sad, sad script.

...

...

...FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Dude, I told that to my friends as a joke. I didn't think they'd stoop that low.

GOD DAMN IT KYLE WARD WAY TO ******* RUIN EVERYTHING >___O

EDIT: Reading the script. Ward's actually managing to screw everything up, a tremendous feat for a script to a game that would be easy to adapt to a movie.

EDIT2: Read the script. Yep, Ward did screw absolutely everything up. I made a very long rant and am currently uploading it to YouTube. If I missed anything, let me know.

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1v6LxrqSJXs

Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txZM-ANzZf4

ohitspatty
24th May 2010, 01:49
I'm watching the videos. Yeah, you're pretty much spot on.

It's been so long since I read it. I left a comment under my youtube account (of course) noSMOKINGfilms lol

Brackstone17
24th May 2010, 14:37
I watched your videos. You must really hate that script, I could tell the very moment your soul died, it was when you mentioned the microchip.

SlashPrower
24th May 2010, 20:33
Yes, the moment in the script where Cosgrove explained how Lynch was a "wiseman", a government experiment to store and encrypt data in people, and how he could decipher a microchip called the Skeleton Key was the moment where a part of me withered away and died. I hate this script so much.

However, if they had simply changed around the names, taken out a bit, and just called it "The Skeleton Key" or "Black Charon", it would be a perfectly mediocre action movie. But it's not, and it's a Kane and Lynch movie, and that pisses me off.

There are some scenes in the script that will either come off as really awesome or really stupid depending on the directing and acting- mainly Lynch's breakdowns and that point where he's triggered by the microchip and starts reciting code. That could actually be really creepy if the director knows what he's doing...

...However, it's a first time director and my hopes aren't really up.

EDIT: I lol'd at your sig, OHP. I had the exact same reaction as Kane to that- namely, really annoyed surprise.

ohitspatty
25th May 2010, 01:54
Ha! You just reminded me all about the "The Skeleton Key" and "Black Charon" mumbo-jumbo crap.

I'm still going to see this when it comes out. I mean Bruce Willis is going to be fun to watch him say those lines :D

SlashPrower
25th May 2010, 21:02
Black Charon made me very, very sad.

I swear, it just seems like Kyle Ward read a very basic, incomplete plot synopsis and decided that he could make a good movie out of that.

Actually, no, because even a basic plot synopsis wouldn't allow for such conspiracy theory crap like Black ******* Charon.

But yeah, I'm probably going to go see it out of morbid curiosity.

ohitspatty
26th May 2010, 03:04
I thought the idea of Skeleton Key was a joke but I guess by "Black Charon" you mean the whole damned thing LOL

SlashPrower
26th May 2010, 20:09
By Black Charon I mean the entire idea of the wisemen and what they were meant to do, the Skeleton Key, Lynch's connection to the Skeleton Key, his insanity being a product of Black Charon, and the whole "world domination/ conspiracy theory/ experimentation" bull**** that was introduced to the Kane and Lynch plot via Black Charon.

So yeah, pretty much everything.

One of Seven
26th May 2010, 21:06
Well, I told you on your vid how I felt about Mr. Ward, and what should happen to him.

SlashPrower
26th May 2010, 22:41
Lol, yeah.

Looking back on those vids I can remember a thousand other things that bugged me but I forgot to put them down. If I had listed absolutely everything wrong with that script it would have been a feature length film in itself.

ohitspatty
27th May 2010, 06:58
@SlashPrower,

I have another script by Mr. Ward, let me know if you'd like to read it. It's pretty interesting as it's a spec script and even thought it's not original it's pretty cool take on film-noir where the action is slapped around mindlessly. It's sure as hell better than Kane & Lynch script. Anyway, I'm excited to see/read what else Mr. Ward will f' up :)

Zidrien
27th May 2010, 07:59
Ok, I might sound mad for saying this, but I couldn't help but notice that the script was dated 9.13.07. That was in 2007, and I'm starting to think that maybe that script was only a first attempt. Plus, if it was the completed one, I don't think it would have just been floating around on the internet for everyone to see...

ohitspatty
27th May 2010, 20:10
Ok, I might sound mad for saying this, but I couldn't help but notice that the script was dated 9.13.07. That was in 2007, and I'm starting to think that maybe that script was only a first attempt. Plus, if it was the completed one, I don't think it would have just been floating around on the internet for everyone to see...

True, don't get me wrong it is a first draft or one of them. However, you have to notice that rarely scripts change much from first draft to the final draft. A fine example would be A Nightmare on Elm Street remake (I have both rough and final draft, both almost same, both horrible). For the script to be half decent, Kyle Ward would have to write whole new script without retyping a single word from this one. I highly doubt he even consider doing that.

Now you also have to understand that for someone who doesn't know anything about K&L, it's not that bad. It's pretty standard formula for an action film and it has some funny lines. So that's not the problem, the problem is that it's not K&L at all. Nothing's there.

Oh and one more thing, the script wasn't exactly floating around until recently. I had to get it from this script collector because none of the websites actually had it yet.

SlashPrower
28th May 2010, 20:45
I'd like to take a look at the script, sure.

I think that the movie is going to be okay for anyone who hasn't played Kane and Lynch and total **** for people who have. As I said before, it shouldn't have even been a Kane and Lynch movie- it would have been perfectly fine as just a stand-alone action movie instead of a video game movie, but nooooooo.

*sigh*

ohitspatty
28th May 2010, 21:40
Fiasco Heights by one and only Mr. Ward
Script (http://www.mediafire.com/?y2cyli03tmg)

Enjoy, it's pretty fun but has some stupid moments...especially the ending.

ohitspatty
7th Jun 2010, 18:59
Hey guys, did you hear that Bill Cosby might replace Bruce Willis? That's a bold move.

GrievousOdyssey
7th Jun 2010, 19:02
. . .

Say what blasphemy now ? ...